Feel unsettled when people talk of emigrating

[Snowmanscarf]

Does anyone else get weird emotions when they hear of people talking about emigrating? I can’t quite pinpoint the emotion.

Part of it is envy and/or jealousy, I suppose, - moving on to a (hopefully) better life.

I also think that it’s a feeling of rejection - rejecting what they have in the UK, not just the lifestyle but family, friends etc. For a while, I followed an instragram family, and even though they showed the highs and lows, I felt they were a bit smug - ‘look at us, aren’t we’re greater than you for leaving the UK’ (unfollowed due to smugness and didn’t like the kids lives being broadcast, no privacy for them).

So criticism comes into play as well, as well as missing out, feeling left behind etc.

I also rationalise it that places like Australia are just different locations. It does not guarantee a good future - same sh-t, different location. A friend emigrated and then her husband went off with someone else. Other places also have CofL problems. Just have to watch Neighbours to know life isn’t a bed of roses and You still need to cook, clean, work etc,

Don’t really know why I posting. Just wondering if others feel the same.

Argh. After following one family for a short while , the algorithm on my instragram account keeps throwing up other accounts about people going to Australia, even though the family I followed didn’t even end in Australia! Also a few van-life type threads (UK and abroad), and one family returning to Scotland after a couple of years.

As someone said upthread, all threads like these are smug and ‘aren’t we great’.

I’m openly jealous as I’d give almost anything to live somewhere warm and sunny 😭.

Hey OP. I could have written this! In fact, I posted a thread on here about how unsettled I was feeling since my honeymoon to Australia in 2023. I have a job on the skills list, but the thought of essentially seeing my family a limited number of times for the rest of my life.. ? I just couldn't do it, but great for those who do.

I follow so many expats on Instagram and it's so hard not to get dragged in to the beaches and sunshine. It does irk me when people who have been there a month say "I'm never going back to the UK" (I mean, sure it's true for some). Scratch the surface though and a few of the people I follow are returning to the UK. If I had my time again, I would consider doing a working holiday visa, but too old now and my husband has already done it.

If you're happy with your life, then I say good for you (I am as well). You don't have to go to looking for contentment 10,000 miles away and that's awesome xxxx

Got to say, I struggle to wrap my head around wanting a life so far from family. I really admire the people who do it. I think you have to be a little better selfish to move (not saying it negatively)

Selfish but you don't mean that negatively. OK.

Saying selfish can only be taken negatively when you're talking about moving away from family. People think you're a monster if you don't want to live within spitting distance of everyone you've ever met in your entire life.

People who I have spoken to who have moved have used that term themselves, so just speaking anecdotally. I think it's great that people are brave enough to do it, it's just not for me.

As I've said below, I've spoken to expats who have used that exact wording

How do you get to be an expert in emigrating?

It was a typo which I've now corrected

I'm an immigrant too and I don't think it's selfish for me to move away from my parents. They raised me to be an independent adult and live my own life and that's what I'd want for my kids too.

I think it's very rude to judge other people's characters for not living right near their parents. I do mean that negatively.

I feel a bit concerned about a family member moving to the US for work but no envy. I've lived overseas myself although in my case it was in Prague and Moscow. I think if it's an opportunity that presents itself to you it's worth taking. I have travelled to the US and Australia and while I enjoyed the visit they are not places I would choose to live. Also living overseas is great but after the first year of excitement in a new country reality, culture shock and homesickness really sets in and it can be difficult to get over that hump and find your place as an immigrant. It isn't all sunshine and flowers and a lot of bloggers with gloss over the difficult parts.

I'm very sorry if I've caused offence. I don't think it's selfish, but admire people who do it. It is a term that has been used when Ive spoken to some expats, but it isn't to say I agree. I think it's great that people do it.

I am sorry. I didn't mean it to come across how it has

Wanderlust is genetic. I have it, maybe you don’t. Or maybe you do and the lack of movement is making you wistful.

Please don’t feel unsettled @Snowmanscarf it’s a really individual thing and circumstances really count - we did 20 months in Copenhagen during Covid- loved it-came back for elderly parent reason - now looking at going back out to Netherlands or Sweden -2 we have had our own business for many years and can be done remotely but still have challenges getting the visa -as none of the places we pick( which are for business/lifestyle reasons) have nomad visa -so we have to jump through many hoops post Brexit and aren’t young either!! It’s not a rejection of Britain ( although I must admit I’m not liking the political climate here at moment with regards to rise of Reform etc, not the fact that anyone who doesn’t feel like this is branded lefties ( we aren’t particularly lefty) and I think it’s a piss poor place for business these days , not blaming the gvt, a lot is to do with things over the last 15 years that has come home to roost. for us it’s about business too - we have an EU centric business and a lot of EU clients - and to be frank I preferred how things work in Scandinavia- we have good knowledge of Netherlands too - it’s a really individual thing , we don’t have kids at home anymore, my H actively prefers being abroad and visiting UK - neither of us are mega family minded apart from our son in London and the bits of family we do have we can afford to visit and vice versa- no where is perfect and you wouldn’t personally catch me off to Australian this stage of like but to be honest moving to Amsterdam area is as easy for me as moving to Manchester! Just more admin hassle initially - but have done it before

That's all right, sorry I was snappy.

I do not mind travelling and exploring but prefer being settled. If circumstances arise ( I don't have huge amount of money to move abroad for just excitement, new places do not excite me anymore, apart from a cottage dream in Cornwall, thanks goodness I am in the UK so completely doable) other than that nothing excites me about other countries.

I wanted to visit Russia and Israel and right now, obviously I won't visit neither
I love the old country but the husband is English and prefers UK based travels, so I won't visit this one either
I like Italy and France but even if I don't visit , so what - would I move to Italy or France - only if like you know, you feel it in your bones you have to. Other than that, no. I am foreign to the UK and that was an adventure in itself.....so I am dead to adventures of this kind

I absolutely cannot imagine myself going to Canada or the USA or Australia, no way.

The only place I can migrate to, with one way ticket, that is New Zealand, China, Japan or Mongolia. Peaceful, ordered countries where the western hysterias are nowhere to be seen

Apology not needed xx

I have a friend in her late 70s. Both her DC emigrated and rarely visit the UK. She finds the travel to see them very difficult with limited mobility. She puts on a cheerful and positive face for them but underneath she is heartbroken. I'm sure they have no idea how she feels.

I emigrated 6 years ago. Not a single regret.

It's not always been plain sailing at all. In fact the opposite. So maybe you see their lives through social media , everyone only shows the good bits