Feel like I've lost so much in the last few months, can't cope with it anymore

[sunshinestateofmindd]

It started a few months ago when I was made redundant from a job I absolutely loved. The role was just no longer needed and I was let go effective immediately, completely out of the blue. I got a new job since and I hate it.

I had a once in a lifetime holiday booked for my birthday, I had been saving up for it for years and it had been one of the only things keeping me going. The day I flew out my pet got really unwell. The next day (my birthday) I was woken up at 3am by a call from the vet saying she had deteriorated and needed to be put to sleep. Thankfully the vet rang me back a few hours later to say she had pulled through and would likely be okay (I'm still confused how the vet could go from needing to be put to sleep to will be okay...) I flew home early. In the space of a few days I have spent/lost around £12k in total with flights, vets bills and a missed holiday. My pet is home now thankfully, but she really isn't herself. She is requiring constant supervision and a lot of care.

I'm back to work on Monday and it's all catching up to me now and I just can't breathe from it. It feels like anything positive in my life has been taken away from me. Even though my dog is alive and home, it's like her eyes are empty and she's not there. The vet assures me she will likely be back to her normal self within the next couple of weeks, but there is always that 'what if'. I know there are so many positives in what I've written - I'm lucky to have a job, lucky my pet is home and recovering and lucky I could afford to pay the vet bill. But it still hurts so much

That sounds really tough. I’d be feeling down about all of this too. Did you have travel insurance and are you able to claim on it at all? Glad your dog is doing ok and you have a new job but it’s ok to feel a bit depleted right now. Go easy on yourself.

Thank you. I am in such a state today, it's like it's all hitting me at once. I'm so close to handing in my notice on Monday morning. I really can't face it at the moment. I've hated jobs in the past and pushed myself through them, but when my personal life is also struggling I feel like I can't cope with hating my job on top of that too if that makes sense?

My travel insurance won't cover anything to do with a pet unfortunately.

Ah that sounds really tough - I'm so sorry you were torn between experienceing something you were really looking forward to and being there for your baby pet.

It's crap - I totally understand that we feel real, proper love towards our animals, as if they were human. But also, that it's absolutely gutting to have to throw away something that meant so much and that you'd been looking forward to for so long.

On top of that, it sounds as though you're concerned that your pet has been kept alive against their best interests?

Even if that was the case, I think him/her being PTS would have cast a huge pall over the holiday. You would have felt (unfairly) guilty for not being there to soothe them at the end, I think - amd maybe tortured yourself with the possibility that they would have been scared and needing you, and you weren't there?

I think if I were you I would be trying a. to make the last months with my pet as good as I could - really consciously lean into it. Make it a definitive part of who you are. Not everyone is lucky enough to have that bond with another creature and it's a very, very special thing. Until we got an accidental dog, I couldn't really understand the fuss (we have a lovely cat, but it's not for me the same visceral bond).

and b. start saving for another big thing that could happen in the next two to three years.

and c. hassling the vet to really make sure that the pet is having a good enough quality of life - and being brave enough to make the right decision when the time comes.

Sorry, I've said 'pet' but I've just re-read yours and seen that it's definitely a dog.

How are you doing @sunshinestateofmindd ? Thinking of you.

Sorry you're going through a lot.
Just to say, a lot of pet insurance policies will cover for financial loss if you have to cancel a holiday because your pet is missing or unwell so it's worth asking them too, as you should be able to claim back your holiday costs as well as the medical care.
Also would ask your vet for a conversation on the ins and outs of their thought processes if you have questions still,
Take care x