How do you make a decision when you don’t know which is best?

[TheJones]

Please help- I’ve tried writing lists, praying and I don’t know what the best decision to make is.

How do you make a decision when you have no idea which is best?

It does depend on what the question is. I would find out more information about the options. I might ask other people's opinions. I would weigh up the pros and cons.

In the end, if I still didn't know, I would just pick one at random and hope for the best.

Can't help you decide without the context but when you've made that decision don't ever think about the other. Be at peace with what you chose because you can only make choices with the information you have at the time.

My mil once said to my me that you toss a coin, and before it lands, you’ll know the answer as you’ll be hoping it lands on a certain side.

I always think of the saying that 'if its too hard to make a decision then it's not the right time to make it'
(I suppose it's saying that the 'right' decision will become apparent and out itself when the time is right)
However that expression also assumes that you have the luxury of time - which you may not do in this instance. Do you have more time to make it? If so perhaps stop trying so hard and maybe the best one come to you when you stop trying so hard to decide.

I also believe that sometimes there is no such thing as the wrong decision. Both options could be right, and have a great result... but just different.
I think that can be quite helpful to think about it like that as it then doesn't have the same life or death connotations- and one isn't 'wrong / negative/ bad'

Good luck with you decision making.

Good advice from previous posters.

I have two thoughts about this.

• One is similar to what one of the previous posters wrote about tossing a coin and wishing for it to land on a certain side. Pretend that you have chosen option A. Pretend that it is decided. Does that make you happy or sad?
• Another thought is something I read once about someone who was gonna get married, and she had doubts. She had tried to think about it with her brain, and she had tried to search her heart how she felt about it, and she still didn't know. Someone asked her "Forget the mind and the heart for a moment. What does your body say about marrying this person?". And she immediately knew that she did not want to marry the person she was about to marry.

I hope you will find your answer.

being undecided is not a bad thing. There isn’t that much correlation between being convinced and making the right decision about things: gut instinct can often be wrong.

No decision is also a decision. No decision sometimes allows the decision to be made for you, which might allow you to absolve yourself of responsibility if things don’t turn out well. But it also removes your control.

I tend to sleep on it.

Thank you for your replies. I’m just reading them-

this is the context-

My daughter is in a lovely small school. Currently has 12 children in her class. The school is lovely and the teachers know her well. However all her friends have left. The class used to have 22 in but over the past year (due to various reasons) have left. She had 1 main best friend left , who has now said she’ll also be moving schools in September.
This has made her really sad , there are other kids in her class but not good friends / or could be.

We have the opportunity to move DD in September as well to a different school. It’s got a class size of 20 ish and then 4 other classes in the same year. It’s a much larger school. Regarded very highly, better facilities and it’s where DD will move to anyway in Year 7. This is where her old friends had left and gone to. It’s also further away and apparently the car park is awful and adds 20 mins on at least each day.

So I don’t know what to do. DD wants to move as she thinks it’s sad all her friends have gone. Or is that daft? Any help greatly appreciated.

Move her.

If her friends are already there, and she'll be going in Y7 anyway then it seems like a no brainer to be honest.

If she will be going there anyway and wants to go, and you can bear the journey, then I would let her move. But she needs to know that she may not be in the same class as her friends and they might have new friends now.

Move her.
(I can't see why you wouldn't really.)

move her before she is the only one left

Move the child.

Don't agonise any longer. You are going round in circles.

Reading this afresh it's clear you should just move her.

20 minutes each way or 20 minutes each way on top of your journey already?

Sometimes with a choice of two I do ip dip or just pick something out of a hat, totally random. If whatever choice I end up with I feel disappointment at I know the other choice is in fact the right one.

Id just move her! Especially because she wants to go. She’ll be happy with her friends and that’s very important for a child

At least apply for a place now, then you can kick the decision down the road.

Ultimately if your DD wants to move that’s probably the best thing. If there’s more kids there, there’s probably more opportunities for car pooling with other parents.

Thanks so much everyone. It must have been a no brainer but I couldn’t see it. Might be that mum feeling of your child moving on or I’m very attached to her school she’s at now.

Really appreciate the responses … ❤️

20 mins on top of a 10 mins journey. Journey now is 10 but it’ll be about half an hour or just less. But she’ll be there for high school so maybe it’s a case of sucking it up 😅 we live in the middle of nowhere so we know we have to travel

Reading your info I would move her.

I'd explain though that she may not be in the same class rooms as her friends.

Maybe ask the school about that. Eg. Does each year group mix together in the playground and the dinner hall, do they mingle the classes for certain lessons , are there lunch clubs for each year, etc. my son's school has three classes for each year group, but they mix them all about at times for certain things eg reading books levels grouped by ability rather than classes. They also share the same playground area, lunch hall time, clubs, etc.

But if she wants to move and it's a good school I'd go for it.

Do you know any of the parents whose children have already gone there? Could you ask how they are finding it?

100% move her. You are only putting off the inevitable anyway. And moving her may not seem a big deal to her .. it will probably be seen by her as the norm as so many others have done it before. It sounds as if you are more attached to the current school than she is.

Yep move her , I understand about loving a current school though, it's hard

This.

Why is everyone leaving the little school? That would really trouble me if I worked there. However as a parent I would definitely move her.