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Original poster

What can I do about my pest ex?

13 replies

cheekycee · 13/02/2025 06:49

Ex was seriously abusive and abused me in front of the kids.
I left in June.
He send screenshots of my texts and voice notes of me to my dad. Some of these are explicit and he is showing him I've done things a dad really shouldn't be seeing.
He hounds my dad with text messages about me (my dad agreed for me to block him and my dad arrange contact with me son thru him because he is so volatile)... so that's what we do.
He really tries to get to me through my dad but of course I don't bite.
I'm trying to move on from this monster and heal but he hounds and truly acts like a child with his threats etc.
I feel he's humiliating me and he's still trying to be somewhat controlling and abusive even after we split. What can I do??

Please can you give some advice because I can't take years of this. He's ruining my relationship between me and my dad as he's putting stress on him. I told my dad I'll just unblock and speak to him but he said under no circumstances would he want that because he doesn't want him abusing me any further and he'd rather be hounded by messages.

For context I haven't reported him to the police as he is a dangerous man who's harmed witness' in the past and told me he would hurt my family if I reported him to the police. He's a bully. Please help.

OP posts:
TwinklyRoseTurtle · 13/02/2025 06:51

You need to go to the police, it is illegal what he has done and could be imprisoned, you can also get a restraining order and the police may give you a panic button

Original poster
cheekycee · 13/02/2025 06:53

Sorry it won't let me respond directly to you above. He's threatened me about going to the police and would the police not say technically he's not harassing me as he is not messaging me direct?

OP posts:
TwinklyRoseTurtle · 13/02/2025 06:59

No, the screenshots he has sent to your dad are illegal and a crime he can be charged with that. Also stalking, harassment and threatening violence, honestly go to the police today

Mexicola · 13/02/2025 07:19

Go to the police.

Get your dad to block him on everything. Buy your Dad a Nokia brick phone and only he has the number. It gets switched on to arrange the contact and nothing else.

Original poster
cheekycee · 13/02/2025 07:31

Mexicola · 13/02/2025 07:19

Go to the police.

Get your dad to block him on everything. Buy your Dad a Nokia brick phone and only he has the number. It gets switched on to arrange the contact and nothing else.

I don't want charges I just want a word spoken to him to make him back off.

He's a joke.

My dad isn't willing to block unfortunately as the man is 6ft odd built like. A brick house and seriously unhinged with access to firearms and he isn't scared to use them apparently.... I really don't know what to do

OP posts:
Original poster
cheekycee · 13/02/2025 07:33

I didn't know half of this when I met him guys he revealed when he had me hook line and sinker. 😣 I'm ashamed of myself for going near him.

OP posts:
Wish44 · 13/02/2025 07:36

Police! He is a bully! He will keep going if he thinks he can get away with it.

it is still harassment of you via your dad. My ex did similar.

communicate through an app like wizard which is designed to be just about the child care arrangements and everything said in it can be used as evidence in court.

should he be having unsupervised contact with your child if he is dangerous?

Huckyfell · 13/02/2025 07:38

You say he has access to firearms? Surely this becomes a next level emergency?

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 13/02/2025 07:41

I'm so sorry you are in this situation.
Instead of your dad could you ask social services to advise you on maybe a professional to act as communication? He might be less abusive if he knows he's talking to, say, a social worker or something.

See what services are out there.

Original poster
cheekycee · 13/02/2025 07:44

I just don't know what to do I could cry my eyes out this morning all morning I feel so lost and down about all of this. He's tormenting me again 😢😢😢😢

OP posts:
Burntt · 13/02/2025 07:52

Go to the police.

Make sure you don't tell them to just talk to him so he will back off. I did that then when the harassment continues they said cuz they spoke to him none of what happened before could be counted.

Does he know where you live?

I would arrange contact through a contact centre. They can then speak with him you/your dad won't have to. Let him take you to court and give you the chance to show how HE ruined his contact by sabotaging communication

Cerialkiller · 13/02/2025 07:53

Look. Either it's posturing to control you and he is a pathetic man child throwing his toys out of the pram in which case police to stop the harassment and threats.

Or, he is a dangerous threat who threatens witnesses and may use the guns he has access to. In which case police. Doubly so really.

Are you afraid it will get worse if you involve the police? It's already pretty unbearable.

If you don't get the police involved early, they are less likely to be able to do anything later when things escalate as there will be no history reported.

If there is no police record then you can't protect your children from him as there will be no history or abuse.

You and your dad both need to report him.

LovelyDaaling · 13/02/2025 08:13

Don't try to second guess what the police will or won't say/do. Go to them. If you don't, you are enabling him to continue with this behaviour.

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