Do you put your teens / pre teens to bed?

[unlikelychump]

Dd nearly 13 and dd11. The bedtime routine is still quite involved as both parents go upstairs and tuck them in, one does a prayer. It tends to involve quite a bit of going up and down as they aren't ready when we are etc.

I am wondering whether your kids that age put themselves to bed? Mine def can, we just haven't moved to that.

Dh thinks it is lovey and I am harsh, but bloody hell, I just want to sit down before 2130.

(There is still a younger child as well but small steps)

From about age 5 or 6 they both came to our room and I could read to them both together instead of one after the other in their rooms. Then they went off to bed by themselves, we didn't really do tucking in after that. This gradually evolved to later in the evenings and we'd all go upstairs together, they'd get read for bed while I sorted laundry or similar, maybe played a board or card game on our bed and then stories and off to bed. Once they got to 12ish they were both out most evenings at activities so it gradually wound down. They were always good at going to bed and putting their lights out at a decent time, we virtually never had to go back up to them and they never really came back down or through to us unless ill. Now at 19 and 21, I go up at about 11 and read, they often drop in for a chat on their way to bed.

Mine are 9 and 12 and put themselves to bed. We have a special handshake which has to be done before bed so we always do that but they do their own teeth, getting into bed, reading for a bit if they like.

I tend to go the same time as dd age 14 so yes turn her main light off and say night

Mine is 11. Yes absolutely I still put her to bed.
I read a bit of the book we're reading too.
I hope it goes on for a long time honestly

10 and 14 here. I make sure they've showered and brushed their teeth.

My youngest likes a cuddle before going to sleep so I guess I do 'put him to bed.'

My teen I pop my head in and say goodnight but he will stay up and go to bed himself.

I think it was before 10 that I tucked them in, I can't remember exactly. I didn't read to them after about 7/8 because they preferred to read themselves, so they might go to bed with a book. I would have to go back and turn the light off, and I would say good night.
My youngest is a mid teen now and I have to remind him to go to bed sometimes otherwise he wouldn't bother until midnight or later even on a school night, but I'm not very involved.

Who would even know that you were tucking her in though? Are all her school friends sitting round watching? I think it's quite sad that you are considering other irrelevant opinions in how you conduct your relationship with your daughter. There's nothing wrong with a bit of affection towards your child...and you're already sitting on the bed chatting!

14yo takes herself to bed but I always check in her, tuck her in & kiss good night
10yo likes a cuddle at bedtime..she also likes to sleep in our bed but that's another battle!

Once DS stopped wanting to hang downstairs with us, bedtime fizzled out. He'd disappear, I'd go up with a snack at about 9 ish. Then if his light was still on when we went up to bed, turn it off. If he roused, give him a cuddle. Aged about 10 probably. Certainly before the end of primary school.

I don't put my 13 year old to bed but I always look in to say goodnight.

My just turned 10 year old I still put to bed, as in I tell her when it's bedtime and to go to the bathroom etc then go in to tuck her in and say goodnight.
We're working on being less involved but I think they just naturally grow out of it.

My dd13 still wants to be given a kiss and have time for a chat whilst she's in bed. It might not last for much longer so I'm making the most of it.

Yes, maybe I shouldn't force it!