I don’t want to go abroad

[BooomShakeTheRoom]

I was wondering if anyone else feels this way? I used to love holidays abroad with my husband before kids - was the highlight of my year.

My eldest is now 7 (3 kids) and weve only ever holidayed in the UK. We go away every year but stay within 5 hrs drive. We like it. I especially like the low cost (meaning if it’s stressful it’s not such a big deal), low prep needed, access to NHS and can navigate the holiday with small kids easily.

The option to go abroad has come up this year and whilst I’d love to take my kids in a plane, I just can’t get excited by it. All I think is same sh*t, different location, £5k lighter.

Is this normal? I’m prone to anxiety so I’m wondering if that’s holding us back. I loved going on holiday as a child and worry I’m depriving my children as they get older!

It's not same shit though is it. It's different languages, culture foods and most importantly sun and decent clean seas!

I meant, same tantrums, same early rises, same constant demands. I wouldn’t get to sunbathe, lay down, read a book, eat in peace or even watch the evening entertainment probably. No card games over a glass of wine or strolls to the nearest town.

All the things I loved about holidays, my kids wouldn’t be up for. They’d want to be in the water the whole time, eating ice cream the whole time, wanting this and that.

Maybe I’m a miserable git but I just can’t see it’s worth the money! But I guess my kids are missing out on the experience.

How old is your youngest?

@FrenchandSaunders 3

I really regret taking my kids abroad when they were young. It was such a waste of money. I wish I'd saved it for when they were older so we could have gone away more often.
Under 7's enjoy anywhere on holiday imo.
Going abroad makes it a lot more stressful for parents. Flights, different foods, medical care, no help, unsettled kids
I love holidays and enjoy them again now my kids are a bit older. I just wish I hadn't tried to holiday as normal when they were little.

@pandapopadance so this is what I’ve been thinking! I can totally imagine going with teens and would love to take them on city breaks or skiing when older, as well as beach trips.

What age would you say it becomes “worthwhile”?

My DC are older now and I can def see both sides.

Weighing it all up-if you currently have happy holidays in this country-which has lots of places to go and culture to absorb-then maybe give it a few years.
What DC that little want is a fun time with their family.
And it needs to be a holiday for you as well...

We went to Disney (not that it is necessarily "culture") with DC around the same ages and the youngest doesn't remember at all. The older more remember the pictures. I do feel it was a bit of a waste.

As they grew older we went on loads of foreign holidays and they loved them-trying new foods and languages and places.

It shouldn't be harder to be on holiday than to be at home...

10+

Re: I wouldn’t get to sunbathe, lay down, read a book, eat in peace or even watch the evening entertainment probably. No card games over a glass of wine or strolls to the nearest town.

Yes you would if you went somewhere with kids' clubs. Look at TUI blue range, absolutely fantastic.

A 3yo is a nightmare when there is water involved. In the UK you can minimise access to that to short bursts.

My holidays changed when my DC were water confident. When young we'd stay in a villa so it was far easier to keep an eye. This was after an all inclusive where it was impossible to monitor them in a crowded pool.

Now they're older it's abroad every year for us because we never leave the beach. They spend hours snorkeling/messing around in the sea which is something we couldn't do in the UK.

Just stay local whilst they are young and revisit it in a couple of years.

Thanks it’s really reassuring to know how I feel is pretty normal. I think we’ll hold off a few more years and save for some special trips once they’re a little older and easier.

@plippyplopp whilst id love to leave them in a kids club for a few hours, I don’t think they’d like it. They take a while to warm up to other kids and adults. And my littlest is 3 which to me is too young to leave in the care of unknown adults.

I loved taking my kids on holiday from when they very young. We always hired a private villa with our own pool though which made things easier for us. We would have some days out (beach/waterparks/attractions) and some where we stayed by the pool all day. Kids would have the pool to themselves and DH and I would take it in turn, when they were little, to play with them in the pool while the other relaxed. We would either eat out in the evenings or cook at the villa and then play cards afterwards. Kids would then go to bed and DH and I would sit sharing a bottle of wine and chat with some music on. Our holidays were magical and amazing and brilliant family time. We took them until the last one turned 18 and no longer wanted to holiday with us anymore but having the kids with us made our holidays, it didn't spoil them.

You're right, holidays with young kids are never relaxing and the airport and heat and everything is stressful.
We didn't go abroad with both DC until youngest was 7 (partly due to covid).
Uk holidays are great with young kids!

@Literallynoonecares that sounds really lovely, I’m sure they have wonderful memories ❤️

None of my kids are strong swimmers so either three kids, who leg it off places, we both need to be in the pool with them. Hopefully that changes as they get older! Also, whilst I love my husband, I need a little variety in people, literally just us would be a bit much all week I think 😂

my two are 5 and 6 now and the first few attempts at abroad holidays were exactly as you describe - same shit, different location and frankly a nightmare sharing a hotel room between 4 of us.

the last couple of years we’ve hired a villa and a car in Greece and it’s genuinely been some of the most perfect weeks of our lives! You can monitor easily who’s in/out of the pool, have space to relax and enjoy the evening after bedtime and the kids have plenty of space to play indoors when they get too hot. It also means I can chill and read a book in the sun while the kids play without the worry of strangers/them escaping/not knowing where they are!

Im plannng villa holidays only for at least the next 5 years!

We didn't go abroad until our youngest was about five. Since then we mix UK and abroad (kids are teens now).

It can be a bit same drudge but with sun. You know your kids - do you think they would enjoy it?

I think in your circumstances then I would wait until the kids are a little older to do holidays abroad. Once they are a bit older and need less hands on parenting you would probably really enjoy taking them abroad. For now there are loads of wonderful memories to be made on holidays in the UK. They are not missing out on anything. ❤

We went on holiday in the UK until ours were older. Had some fantastic holidays and easy to pack up everything you need in the car. It never appealed to take them abroad when younger. Plenty of time to go abroad when they are a bit older and can swim and less likely to run off!

‘different languages, culture foods’

on a two week holiday in a tourist area? At three years old?
😹😹😹

I hate going abroad.

I don’t like flying - not afraid to fly, I just dislike being in that crowded narrow space for hours, and I hate the airport queues, parking, being herded onto the plane. I don’t like ferries or the tunnel either.

I like normal food, prepared in my own kitchen, and sleeping in my own bed. Closest option for a holiday is therefore my own caravan, but I’m old and that will never happen!

As a child we always had a week in a tent or caravan on the south coast. I didn’t go abroad until I was in my late 20s and were it not for DD deciding to get married abroad, I’d never go again.

I absolutely love going abroad!! We’ve been doing it since they were about 6m. They’ve all been wonderful holidays, I feel relaxed, we often have a glass of wine and play cards when they’re in bed! I love the food, the culture, the language, the architecture, everything!

I disagree that you need to wait until they remember. You are allowed to do things for you! I’d been on holiday every month if I had the time allowance and the money!!

Can't in the slightest agree. My kids loved going abroad form very young. The excitement of the plane, the sun, the beaches, the good, staying up late and entertainment and waterparks etc....

And I definitely got to lie on sunbeds (a bit) and drink wine (a lot).

I’ve been taking DS abroad since he was old enough to have a passport. Purely on selfish grounds — obviously if he didn’t go, I didn’t go. So he went. But I’ve never done a resort holiday in my life. We go to a city, or rent a house with friends.

We drove to france every summer from Dts were almost one. Such an easy holiday, could fit as much as we wanted / needed. Stayed in Siblu mobile homes, we had a terrace for the evenings. I did not have kind of children who would nap in buggy or accept a change in routine. Obviously you won't be lying on a sunlounger by the pool reading a book when they're small but our site had a well secured baby pool / splash pad.

We went to America when they were three and that nearly broke me.

We stopped France for Covid and have been flying to Europe since then, mostly Balearics and it is lovely. Couldn't deal with 5 in one hotel room that would be a nightmare.

We didn't take ours abroad (four, very close in age) until the youngest was 8...they loved UK holidays with entertainment etc... cheesy but fun.
However last year we flew to Australia with a 2 yr old (his first flight) and it was fine...next year we will have a 4 yr old and 1 yr old baby when we go again (DS1 lives there). The difference was having enough adults to entertain and pass DGS around, and we hired a villa where were could just relax and he had his toys.
I wouldn't do a hotel based holiday but a big Airbnb or villa.. perfect.