I'm not a Christian so I could be wrong...

[CurlewKate]

...but is it a little insensitive to tell someone (not me, and not a very close friend so no need for good wishes for me) who is about to have major surgery, that you are praying to St Jude for them?

I'm not a Christian. If people tell me they're praying for me, that's fine, because I get that they mean well and I don't find it insensitive.

However, if someone told me that they were specifically praying to St Jude, the patron saint of last causes, I would think they were being a complete arsehole.

Oh I've just seen St Jude is the patron saint of lost causes 😳 oops

I stand by my above comment but if they say they are offering Prayers without stating a particular saint

I'm atheist and it wouldn't upset me at all. I'd think how kind they are showing they care i a way that is important to them.

Being thought about is lovely. However it is displayed, if in a kind manner of course.

St jude is also the patron saint of hospitals. I'm not picking your post out specifically it was just the last 1 I've read,

Anyway if someone says they are going to pray for me I don't think it's for my benefit just their way of saying they are thinking of me, I'm a non Christian and I wouldn't think any more of it.

St Jude is for lost causes, not lost things. (If you've lost a thing, you pray to St Anthony.) St Jude is the one you pray to when a situation is completely hopeless, which is why it's awful to tell someone you're praying to St Jude for them when they're about to have surgery.

I’d find it rude, as I don’t want anyone’s prayers, but I guess it’s a religious person’s way of saying they are thinking of them.

But what I will always find very annoying, is when an operation goes well, and people thank their god or one of the saints. Why would you do that? Is wasn’t god who performed the successful operation, and saved a life. That can only be attributed to the surgeons and doctors who performed the surgery.

Have to say, I know it's very ungracious of me, but I do find it annoying. I have a relative who is Catholic and she always asks if she can pray for - whoever is ill. As if I could stop her - and surely you don't need someone's permission to pray anyway, so is this something they say so you have to thank them? If they really cared and wanted to pray, and thought prayers would do some good - then they can just pray, they don't have to announce it.

What made it worse was when the person got better, she then said - see it works! As if all the medical care he had had didn't count. A few years later he was in hospital again and the same happened, but this time he died - I felt like ringing and asking her why it hadn't worked this time.

If people want to pray - then do it, they don't need to advertise it.

Patron St of Loss Causes and Hope! He is also the Patron Saint of places like hospitals.

Even in my most anti religious years it wouldn’t have bothered me if someone said they were praying for me. I’ve had plenty say it, there was a little prayer group at an ex job I had that disapproved of my loose single party lifestyle, most of the group were younger than me a mixture of strict religious and born again backgrounds, they regularly prayed for me apparently 😂

I suppose the point about St 'Jude is there are no lost causes his intercession won't rescue ? In theory. So I'd take it as an insurance policy !

These threads annoy me so much!

OP, do you think it was meant kindly?

If yes, then graciously thank them for their kindness and move on.

If no, shake it off & ignore them- consider how close you want to be going forward.

It's not a huge deal! If someone said "sending positive vibes your way", nobody would have an issue. Even though nobody actually believes a person can send "vibes". It's an expression of kindness. Some people are such vampires!!!!

It feels rude and intrusive. It's making the conversation about the person doing the praying. The prayer putting a social obligation on the prayee to say 'thank you'.

An offer of practical help would be more useful.

There has been research showing that sick people in hospital who know they're being prayed for recover more quickly than those who don't know this. I think that when people are desperately ill, or are in dire straits, they often toss their usual supposedly level-headed views aside and turn to prayer.
Unless you know differently about the person doing the praying, I would take it as a kindness.
As ever, it depends on the context, and on the beliefs of the individual being prayed for. It's not really your problem, is it?
I wouldn't know about St Jude - I don't pray to saints.

I think it’s very personal and depends on the person and probably the religion. Though I think the key is asking and not telling.

I had major lifesaving surgery and MIL asked if she could add me to the prayer chain at her church. I’m Jewish. Fine by me and i thought it was a really kind gesture. I’ll take every little bit I can get. I was in a church just before my surgery on a walk and I lit a candle and said a little prayer (no Jesus involved as I don’t believe in Jesus). I’ll take all the positive vibes I can get really. But I appreciated that MIL asked if it would be okay instead of just informing me.

I’d be annoyed as it would set me up with an earworm for the day.

More seriously, I’d be much more comfortable with someone saying “I’ll pray for you” / “you’ll be in my prayers” than (as a non-Catholic) being specific about the saint. The former I’d just see more as generic good wishes,

I had a family member who used to pray to St Jude for me as I was a "hopeless case". It wasn't meant as a compliment. 😬

Ps Today is the feast of St Gobnait. Patroness of 🐝 bees. They need a bit of help now.

Am an atheist, and have also never heard of st Jude being a patron saint of lost causes. I just googled and the first page I’m looking through talks of him being the patron saint of hope, and also some sort of relic healing oil thing. Looks like there’s lots of general praying to him that goes on. As a previous poster said - these saints tend to have a broad remit.

So I wouldn’t be at all offended. I might think “very nice, big waste of your time but glad you’re thinking of me”. I can see how if you have a strong association with “lost causes” you might feel offended but it doesn’t seem like this is the only thing a Christian would associate st Jude with, so quite possibly groundless offence.

Saint Jude is my fave of all the saints!

It's not much different to saying you will be thinking of the person. But some people just love to be offended.

It literally is. It's saying "I think you are a lost cause"

I would welcome prayers in any form, they are, after all, kind thoughts and a version of 'I'm thinking of you'. I think praying or using religious language is not about the belief of the person its aimed at but the person doing the act. That person truly believes that their prayer can help me, whether i believe or not I can still be the receiver of their goodwill. I'd be flattered if someone prayed for me, to anyone.

We've already established he's a patron saint for the sick too.

It's a delicate matter. Without knowing the history and predispositions of the recipient, it is probably better not to bring religion into well wishes. Some people have a difficult relationship with religion because of their own past experiences, others feel more warmly about religion. If you are confident someone is in the latter camp, then you could express yourself in this fashion, but one ought to tread cautiously. After all, the potential recipient is no doubt already feeling stressed and vulnerable.

I would accept it with the good grace and kindness that it was offered with.
I would associate Jude with the sick & hospitals. There is a huge network of St. Judes children's hospitals and research clinics in the US that provide treatment and accommodation to sick children and their families.

The point is not the prayers but praying to the saint of hopeless causes.