Do you feel embarrassed about the state of your home?

[Chalatte]

I do, a lot. here's my story.

Our house is fairly old, and we love that, and everything else about it. It's been about 3 years since we bought -- our first home purchase in the UK.

BUT the issue is that some of it looks basically decrepit. My kitchen, in particular, has chipped laminate, tired lights, an old stucco style/textured ceiling, mismatched and poorly planned cabinets, and the counter is basically cracking, rotten wood.

To top this off, my kids are all 10 and under, and the house is often always in a state of disarray due to the kids being, well, kids. Toys, shoes, pencils, scrunchies. Just, stuff, everywhere.

Our house is due an extension; however, we don't have the funds for it (yet), and we are building toward it. I had an idea of doing the kitchen up just so it is presentable, but financially it will be more expensive and wasteful to do the kitchen up only to tear it down. No matter how it looks, it is functional, and we are getting by for the moment.

Unfortunately, the extension/renovation will not happen anytime soon and I have so much envy when we visit a friend with a fancy/posh/brand-new home, to the point i think it's affecting my desire to invite people home.

Wondering if others are/have been in a similar position and what would you do?

So says someone who has no empathy for the struggles of others.

My kitchen worktops were cluttered but with things I used all of the time. Obviously kettle, toaster, breadbin but also velvetiser, panini press, pizza oven, scales, 2 x microwaves as DH is vegetarian so won't eat food out of microwave that has meat in, coffee, tea and sugar containers. I saved up and had about 1/3 of garage MN ade into a laundry room with worktops, kitchen units on floor and wall as well as washing machine and tumble dryer and I moved a lot of things from top of kitchen worktops into new laundry room worktops so now kitchen does look less cluttered. I've been wanting to do this for about 10 years but only got around to getting it done in February. I've also had another kitchen unit put into space where washing machine used to be in kitchen so nowy Chinese cartons, tupperware and 2 X thermos flasks have a permanent home. I like an hour's notice if unexpected visitors are arriving to vacuum the sitting room floor and stairs, dust in sitting room and pick up dog toys and wipe over kitchen floor.

Yes there is, my bad reaction to beta blockers meant I kept banging into things and was too weak to clear up!

Having said that a friend is helping this week so it'll be a lot better soon :)

You are trolling, right? Or are you saying that you will give us all the money to fix our decrepit houses?😆

Mine is abit of a shit hole. Last time a workman came round he asked to use the bathroom, spent ages in there then came out and told me I should just sell my house to someone who could gut it and start from scratch!
But it's clean and tidy, has everything I need. If somebody doesn't like it they can bugger off!

I used to be until 2018 when I finally kicked exp out, he was abusive, punched holes in doors and walls, we were always skint and I refused to decorate nicely because he would just wreck it.

it is council and in 2015 we had a new kitchen bathroom which replaced the one that had been there for 40 years, the kitchen was falling apart and a door fell off into my 8 year old daughters foot and she had to have stitches,

me and late dh started to sort the house out slowly and then I finished what he’d started.

its never going to be a show home but its clean and tidy, not everything is matching, I’ve painted rooms and put carpet down to replace the one that had been there in all the bedrooms for 20 years I've got lots of second hand stuff, I’ve decluttered a lot which helps enormously. Now it takes me and hour or two to tidy and clean instead of the all day job it used to take and I’m proud of it now

many people have been through a period in their life when they had insufficient funds to smarten up their home there is no reason to be embarrassed about shabbiness. What matters is that it is clean and try never to get so untidy that you an hour away from order. The rest does not matter and you will feel better about the house if it's presentable.

I remember a friend of a friend whose kitchen was not great and she had a mood board with all these pics of designer kitchens on it. I doubt her kitchen was ever improved at least enough to look like a dream kitchen. Some people just cannot afford it.

I'm in an HA property so I'm never going to be spending thousands on a kitchen for a house I don't own. I've painted the kitchen cupboards, put nice handles on, used the vinyl wrap on the worktops, tile stickers etc. I like it. As it was pretty cheap to do, as any part gets a bit tired looking, I can redo it. I think having things out on the sides kind of helps to hide the fact it was a cheap DIY job 😂I don't like not having anything on the work surfaces like some people, just doesn't feel homely to me.

My house wouldn't be to a lot of people's tastes anyway. I like lots of colour, interesting wallpaper, have a lot of collections etc. So I'm really not going for the "show home" look. I think my house is like marmite, people either rave about it or are completely silent about it! Am guessing the silent ones hate it! But that's ok. The way I see it is that I'm the one who lives here, so I have to do what makes me happy.

I did in the last house, it just never felt homely to me. We’d lived there 13 years and brought up two children there so there was a lot of “stuff” aka shit.

We moved two years ago and absolutely gutted the last place before we did. Spent a month backwards and forwards to the tip/charity shop, and now live in a house that is lovely! The layout helps - it feels more homely - but it’s also easy to keep tidy as there’s definitely less junk. I now actively invite friends over for something to eat etc, never would have dreamt of doing that before!

Social media is all lies. I don’t know anyone with an Insta perfect house. Load of bollocks.

bloody hate my house, It feels so shabby and outdated. my kitchen is 26 years old and although it was of excellent quality the cupboard doors are now starting to fall off. upstairs is a disgrace with way too much clutter I'm too embarrassed to let the kids have friends stay over. I will admit to being a bit of a hoarder and struggle with decluttering because of it. really wish I could just get rid of stuff without it causing me huge anxiety. it makes me miserable. my house was lovely, well decorated and tidy years ago. I don't know what's happened to me.

I know a few with insta perfect homes even with young dc's. my mums is immaculate and like a show home. mine unfortunately is not.

I know exactly how you feel.
Bought a 300 year old wreck with potential.
It’s taken 10 years, a serious amount of hard graft, not to mention money to make it into something.

I think your priorities are really good though that a lot of your time is spent with your family doing family things. It’s so important and you can never get back those years as they go all too quickly.

Ideally it would be lovely to do both, but for a lot of us it all boils down to money.