How am I still fat?

[Quorafun]

Basically, just that. I want the opinions of others please.

I am 5 2 and now weigh 67kg. I was 88kg and I knew I was too fat then, but multiple diets over the last ten years have just resulted in yo-yoing with an overall increase to that number. With a BMI of 36, I knew I was fat. Regardless of the issues surrounding the use of BMI, if they say normal is below 23 then 36 is unhealthy. Now I am 27.2 BMI, look and feel great, but its still too high according to the science.
According to body fat calculators, at 35% fat, again, too high.
But, I don't see how getting back down below 60kg is going to look good. I don't want a skull for a face. I know that as a society, we no longer see larger people as unhealthy in the way we used to. I was told I was ok back when my BMI was 36 but that's also because there are now so many people who are much larger and so many at my size that it is no longer considered an extreme weight. But growing up, people generally weren't that big. I'm all about body positivity, but I'm also pleased that now my knees don't hurt and I don't get breathless going up the stairs anymore. My cholesterol is now normal and I am no longer pre-diabetic.
This isn't a boasting by stealth post. I know I have worked hard, and am now much happier in myself, and I don't need validation from others to feel good. But I just don't understand how losing more weight, just to get to the right numbers, is going to be healthy. The entire point of my weight loss was health, with looks as an added extra. So how are the numbers still telling me I'm carrying too much weight around.

So according to BMI, which is just a numbers calculation, you are no longer obese, you are overweight. You were at risk from health conditions related to being obese and it sounds from what you are saying that those risks have diminished. Who is saying you have to reduce your weight further? Is it your GP?

Fat is an emotive and somewhat meaningless word when it comes to health matters. Anorexics think that they are fat! I'm not sure that asking yourself "how am I still fat" is particularly helpful. Why not ask yourself if you are confident that you have sufficiently reduced your health concerns. If you are confident and no qualified health professional is telling you that for health reasons you need to lose more weight, then you have your answer!

With a bmi in the overweight category, you still have an increased risk of certain health issues and diseases due to the fat you’re carrying compared with having a healthy bmi and carrying less fat. Reducing your bmi will lower your risks of these health issues. In your position I’d want lower to my bmi further to improve my chances of remaining healthy. It’s not just about how you look, but with a bmi of 27, you are likely to still look overweight and you won’t have a skull for a face with a healthy BMI.

If you think you look great, feel great, have good health etc then ultimately it’s entirely up to you whether you continue losing weight. Nobody else needs to agree with you. I’m 5 inches taller and 12kg lighter than you, and certainly don’t have “a skeleton for a face”, so I’m reasonably confident that you’re being hyperbolic and don’t genuinely think you’re very slim and there’s no way you could be any slimmer; but it’s also not really any interest of mine whether you’re fat or slim or just right - that’s for you to reconcile.

It's going to depend on how you carry your weight.
I am the same height as you and am a stone lighter and feel I need to lose half a stone.
Not criticising at all, you have done really well, but objectively, at 5ft2, over 10stone is overweight.

It's because we've lost sight of what's normal and vanity sizing along the way. So many people are overweight that it's accepted as the norm. The average uk dress size is a 16 but I sit right at the top of the healthy BMI range and I wear a 10/12!

Most healthy weight people don’t have skulls for faces! Some people do suit being a bit heavier/lighter though, but that doesn’t say much about health.

Oh come on what a goady post. I am also 5ft 2 and a 61kg I definitely have weight to lose. I am at the top end of healthy BMI and I feel chubby. I exercise a lot too so my body fat % is in the mid 20s

There is no way at all you think you are going to have a skull for a face if you reach a healthy weight.

Most of my friends and family aren't overweight and none look like skeletons. They just look slim.

Have you checked your waist measurements? I think more and more now, Dr's are recommending that a woman have a waist that is half or less her height, so in your case 31 inches, and to focus on that more than bmi.

I'm very overweight now, but was at my (imo) best, appearance wise, when I was still slightly overweight. But I have huge legs/cankles, no matter how much weight I lost or how much exercise I did (they did obviously reduce in size to a point). But by the time my bmi was 25 or under, I had bones sticking out everywhere on my upper half. I didn't like it, and neither did my husband.

My goal bmi, should I ever reach it again, is actually around 26, though until I lose it I won't be able to say if that would still suit me.

I agree with the vanity sizing issue, i'm the same height as OP and I weigh 55kg, BMI is 22.2 I am by no means tiny and have a fairly high % of body fat - 28 in waist, however I'm now buying clothes in a size 6 or XXS when really I'm probably a size 10, because I find that clothing is getting bigger and bigger, I returned a jumper to Next at the weekend because it was too big and the sales assistant confirmed that there was no smaller size and to look in the kids section.

I think people normalised being overweight now...

But, I don't see how getting back down below 60kg is going to look good. I don't want a skull for a face

You are 5ft 2, I am 5ft 1 and 50kg and I do not have a skull for a face, ffs. 🙄

I really don't know why you feel the need for such ridiculous hyperbolic insults to people who are a healthy weight, but weigh less than you. I don't feel the need to insult others of a different weight from me. but maybe that's because I genuinely am happy with my weight.

I'm taller and lighter than you and I'm fairly pudgy. I definitely don't have a skeletal face.

I think you're kidding yourself.

Those who are lighter than the OP, have you always been on the lighter /normal side, or have you been overweight /obese? Because I think one of the places that can take a massive hit from weight loss is your face and you can look quite gaunt after losing weight.

It may depend on how old you are too. As Catherine Deneuve has famously said: “At a certain age, you have to choose between your face and your ass.”

Choose between face or ass? I choose to try to maintain good health and one way of doing that is to keep my bmi in the healthy range. I like to look good but my health matters more to me than how I look.

Everyone looks different it depends on muscle etc too. I’m 5.9 and 59kg and I still have belly fat and wobbly thighs. Could do with losing another 3kg.

I'm not saying health isn't important. I'm disabled and know only too well what it's like to be unhealthy and the lengths I would go to to be healthy. What I am saying is that when you lose a lot of weight, especially as an older woman, your face can appear very gaunt and haggard for a while, which may go some way to explain why the OP is thinking she'll look like a skeleton if she loses any more weight. From my reading of it she seems to be only saying she would look like a skull, not that she possibly isn't still a bit squidgy in other places.

The OP isn’t making sense. She doesn’t understand how being a healthy BMI can look good, ok, maybe she feels she would look better a bit overweight, that’s her preference. But she also says she doesn’t understand how losing more weight could be healthy. The fact is that having a BMI in the healthy range, will likely make OP healthier than having a BMI in the overweight range because she’ll carry less fat and be less at risk for certain health issues. Looks don’t always equate to health.

BMI is a useful indicator of health. However, it's not the be all and end all. The distribution of fat on one's body is more important than the amount, when assessing one's disease risk. For this reason, as I mentioned in my first post, waist circumference is thought to be a better predictor of health risk than your BMI. So, the OP should measure her waist if she doesn't know it already. It's still up to her, of course, what she does with that information, but if her waist is, say 29 inches, that would no longer put her in the "at risk" category.

Thank you for all the positive, encouraging posts. I feel better about myself now. I haven't discussed my weight loss with a GP, just myself. I do feel better in myself, and my risks have all diminished. I will try to focus on those positives.

My thoughts, or hyperbole, as described by one poster, are all about myself. No one else. If you are reading yourself in there, please don't.

I am an older woman, post menopause, and at this age, the face does look gaunt after weight loss. When I was 49/50kg aged 20, I was not considered skinny, and my face was quite round with big cheeks. I have much more defined cheekbones currently, despite weighing 18kg more. teenaged me from the 80's would have been envious.

Well I’m post menopause have just got down to a BMI of 24.7 ( so top of normal weight) from 29.2 last September , I’m 5’8” and my face hasn’t gone gaunt or skull like in anyway . Like a pp said , if you are happy at your current weight then crack on but don’t kid yourself that you are not overweight because you still are and that will be having an effect on your organs even if you don’t feel it .

I'm post menopause, 5'6 and 60kg, which puts me at a BMI of 21. I still look plump. I'm not in the least, but I have boobs and a bum and wide thighs and my slim waist doesn't show unless I wear skin tight clothes. I've got short legs and I look like a chunky solid little thing (people often think I'm much shorter than I am too!). I got down to 52kg a few years ago and I looked ill but I didn't look slim. So shape has an awful lot to do with the shape and size you are.

Is it not likely that, if you haven’t been slim since you were very young, your face shape has changed with weight loss and you’re just not used to seeing your face in the shape it currently is and so the difference is quite striking? That’s completely normal: I don’t think any of us think of ourselves as the age we are, because for most of us the changes of age are gradual - unless we do something drastic to change our appearance like lose a lot of weight.

BMI is a broad measure and, as quite a lot of medical bodies have concluded recently in terms of decisions around prescribing weight loss drugs, being overweight in itself isn’t necessarily a health problem until you begin to show problems in terms of blood sugar / blood pressure / joint problems / organ function etc. If you feel healthy and all your vitals are coming back healthy currently, the decision about losing weight simply for appearance sake is up to you, if you’re happy with yourself currently. It’s just important to bear in mind that extra weight may eventually begin to affect your health and keep on top of it so you can make any further changes if it does.

And also, I think of it this way: I currently drink too much, by medical guidelines, and I take recreational drugs. At the moment, I’m a machine: I run semi-professional athlete speeds without trying, I lift weights like somebody in the peak of health, and I have a great body. But I’m aware that at some point, something will probably start to tip, and that will be the wake up call to monitor my health and make some changes. The same is true of weight: it will be mostly okay, until it isn’t. It’s fine to accept and be happy with who you are in the now, whilst acknowledging that there’s propensity there for your health to change in the future as a result of extra weight, and not get complacent.

@Quorafun For comparison.

I am an older woman, in my 60s.

My height is 5 3" and my weight is 48kgs- so about 7st 6.

I am NOT skinny. My wrist measurement is 5.5inches so I'm small framed.

I have been between 7 st 4 and 8st all my life.

When I was pregnant I was 8st 4 and had a healthy baby of 7lbs 7.

I appreciate my BMI is bordering low (it's about 18.5) but I still have fat around my tummy (rolls). And my face is not thin.

I was told I was ok back when my BMI was 36 but that's also because there are now so many people who are much larger and so many at my size that it is no longer considered an extreme weight

Really? Whoever told you that was either lying or ignorant.
That weight was obese and bordering on morbidly obese.

If you are intent on losing weight, then you can do that by doing the right things.