Is anyone awake? Colicky baby - at my wits’ end

[hereismydog]

My little boy is 7 weeks old and has colic and nothing we do seems to soothe him

He is fed, warm, burped and clean and being cuddled by DP in bed while I sit downstairs for a moment because I can’t hear myself think. We are going through gripe water like our lives depend on it; it seemed to be the magic potion for a few days as he would produce the most incredible burps and fall asleep smiling but now he screams as soon as he has finished eating and burping. He’s EBF throughout the day and has expressed bottles, I’ve minimised dairy in my own diet in case he has CMPA but seems to have had no effect.

Does anyone have any recommendations to help my precious boy please because I cannot bear seeing him so upset, and I am now at a point where I cry just as much as he does. We saw the HV last week and she seems to be of the opinion that this is normal, and has put us down for our next ‘review’ when he is 12 months old so I feel a bit unsupported by her DP is excellent with him and does all the baby care as soon as he’s home from work so it’s not all on me. Just looking for some advice and maybe a little handhold, please.

Oh you poor thing... it's hell.
It's a long time since mine were babies, but I paced the floor with my dgs and no doubt will be doing the same with my brand new dgd in a few weeks time to help my DD out.
Is it mostly in the evenings? That was always the worst time for us...and it feels endless.
You are probably doing all the right things already... no one really knows why they get colic but it does pass... you are probably at the worst stage about now, and by about 12 weeks it starts to settle.
We used to go for long drives late at night, we got so desperate...usually the car motion did the trick and one of us could catch a nap while the other went for a drive...
There is nothing you are doing wrong... it's just an awful stage that a lot of new babies go through (I believe it's thought to simply be their immature digestion if they are otherwise feeding well, healthy etc)...but it is horrendous.
Hand hold from here... I had 4 babies, now two grandbabies...and I can still remember how hopeless I felt! But it WILL pass !

Infacol..can you still get that? It was magic for my boys..that and rocking them with them cradled face down on my forearm-that seemed to gently massage their tummies. Hang in there x

Sounds like you are both doing a great job. I'm sure you've tried rubbing your baby's tummy and back. Walking around gently can also help. Dark room with white noise is sometimes soothing - on your phone if you don't have a machine. Hopefully others will be along with other ideas.

Weeks 5-8 is peak screamies. My middle one in particular would just scream for hours, it’s awful. Are you pace feeding bottles? They can end up taking in too much air if they feed too fast. Burp little and often as you go. Also how much is he having? It’s easy to overfeed on a bottle, at 7 weeks if he’s having expressed milk he’s unlikely to ever need more than 4oz. You could also try doing smaller feeds more often, it’s possible he’s got some silent reflux in which case being over full won’t help.

Oh you poor thing OP.

The good news is, it does stop. I promise. Bad news is - right now you’re in the trenches. Colic is a word used to describe an unsettled baby that screams like clockwork in the evenings. It’s not a condition or an illness so there is no treatment - it just stops.

Don’t worry about the gripe water etc - it’s bunkum. Keep feeding him & really wind him properly. I mean right over a shoulder or tiger in a tree hold and wind him firmly. They often like that firm rhythmic patting. I know you haven’t asked for advice but that’s mine. I would also see what sort of swaddling he will tolerate - of any. I second the car seat - I used to drive miles and miles with my friends DC when he was a tiny baby. He wouldn’t settle unless we were in the car.

I really feel for you. It will stop I promise but also - there is nothing the HV can do - she’s can’t magic it away for you. If you can get him down for a nap tomorrow morning big make sure you nap too. Make mornings about survival until you e caught up on a bit more sleep.

Also tiger in the tree hold was all that worked when mine were super screamy

It is hell. I don’t have any great ideas, apart from try and calm yourself. A health visitor once said to us, if your baby is safe in their cot and the crying is getting to you and you are overwhelmed, just take ten minutes out.

Warm baths, peddling their legs gently, laying them along a man’s forearms with belly pressing against it (male forearm usually bigger that’s all) and walking around, lots of pacing the entire floor space of your home. a stretchy fabric sling, popping them in front of washing machine or turning hoover on for white noise (with real vibrations not just audio files). Personally, I’d try dropping the bottles for a while, baby may be getting the two different swallowing actions of breast and bottle mixed up.

I’ve had six children, only one had full blown colic, you have my every sympathy.

Op i feel for you. My eldest one suffered terribly with it when he was a baby. I don't used to give him a massage. Start at his feet and slowly work up the leg then across the tummy anti clockwise. Keep repeating and burping as much as possible x it does passe..... eventually x my son is now 19 so there js hope x

Poor you. I still remember how horrific the evening / night screaming sessions were, when you're just exhausted but baby won't stop crying.

I agree with others that the tiger in the tree hold is good. Also try lying him on his back and cycling his legs. I remember that helping.

Also keep feeding maybe. I didn't use bottles so can't advise on that but I remember being amazed how much they seem to keep needing! I'd think I'd finished a feed but sometimes the screaming was because they still wanted more and not wind. (took me a long time to work that out)

Have you got another relative that could come overnight to help out occasionally so you can sleep? My first had colic - I could have chucked her out of the window sometimes, I was so tired and overwhelmed. Luckily I had a Mum who would stay over and take her for me. It did stop after a few weeks. But it was hell at the time.

Evening colic, I would say likely developmental and will resolve. Google Purple crying,

All day, every feed colic I'd wonder about reflux and think

• does he have a tongue tie?
• is there an allergy? (You'd need to completely cut out dairy and then reintroduce after two weeks to confirm cows milk allergy and of course it may not be milk or may be milk and other things)
• is he getting enough or too much milk? (High supply really aggravates colicky symptoms)
• Do you need medical help from GP? Eg reflux medication, a review.

Two really great resources are
Why infant reflux matters by Carol Smyth really looks at normal baby behaviours versus reflux and evaluates causes and what works)
And
The discontented little baby book which has lots of ideas for helping babies settle.

The Harvey Karl 5 S's appproach has some evidence base for helping with colic just ignore all the marketing.

You're likely at the peak of the curve OP so it should start getting better soon.

Another in favour of infacol

Cssh in favours and offers of help to get you through next few weeks so can sleep

It improves

I promise

Infacol is magic

Used it for my very colicky son over 20 years ago and more recently for my baby granddaughter (the child of said colicky son).

Hang in there;this stage sucks but I promise you'll get through this.

Yikes, this brings back memories from 30 years ago. My daughter was just as bad, even projectile vomit. Gripe water and Infacol are what I used, although my goddaughters baby was really bad and they prescribed Omeprazole. He also had intolerances, lactose being one.

I’ve since read that Lavender oil and massage is really good for colic. You can get it easily from Boots or Holland and Barrett. You can apply it neat or can mix with a carrier oil/olive oil will do, warm your hands and gently massage the abdomen, it smells divine.

Feeling for you, colic is brutal. Bath before bed with warm flannel on their tummy is one thing I don't think people have mentioned that helped us. I also used to blast calming music over the crying at times, it probably helped me more than baby! Infacol seemed to help too. Some people rate slings but for us it just brought the crying closer to my face!

Also with minimising dairy just to check- if you've switched from dairy milk to soya milk, soya allergies can occur alongside milk more commonly than you'd think so maybe try a week or two on oat milk (sorry I know it's grim). One with iodine as well as calcium included- Tesco's has it or most of the big brands.

I would also get huckleberry app and start tracking sleep now as overtiredness can also make them cry and the app makes it easy to see/manage what's going on when you're too tired and stressed for maths. From 2 months of age you can pay for the SweetSpot feature that prompts you when they'll next need to sleep depending on when they last slept/woke, i found it worth every penny. I used to throw baby in the pram and start walking at every nap time, it meant I got fresh air and the day had some kind of structure and the screaming was diluted over more air and baby eventually learned to nap (if only in a moving pram), so it did help. You can install on two phones so husband can track too. And then you have data so you can go to GP and say they've slept for 8 hours fed for 8 cried the rest or whatever it is.

Good luck. You will get through this. It doesn't last forever, just feels like it. Call in those favours like others have said, get someone to take them out in the pram at naptime while you nap or help with essential washing/cooking/shopping etc so you can prioritise your sleep at every opportunity.

Not sure if anyone else has suggested this but your expressed bottles are you labelling them for what time you’re pumping them?

Milk pumped in the AM contains hormones to keep them awake (can’t remember the exact science)…

Also I remember going through this stage and thinking that DD couldn’t possibly be hungry as she’d be feeding for ages. It wasn’t until a while afterwards I learnt about cluster feeding 😫

Not quite medical advice but we almost got into the routine whereby I’d feed DD, she’d get angry, I’d pass her to DH for a while and then she’d be thankful to be passed back to me and settle. For weeks she’d cry at night for hours until 2am then crash out. It was brutal but then one day it got better. What made it more manageable for us was that we ended up changing our schedule that we went to bed at 2am and got up for the day at 10am. Basically putting us in a different time zone around DD as it was brutal essentially falling asleep whilst trying to pace the house with her.

Good luck Op. By spring it should all be easier 💕

Colief drops and gripe water I used together. Went through a few things before this worked!

Keep upright for 20/30 mins after each feed. Make sure they bring wind up

https://www.babocush.com/products/babocush-newborn-comfort-cushion?country=gb&gadsource=1&gbraid=0AAAAADPDD_8otwSFHvD5Exm1KAo9gSpgkW

And this. Whilst you're awake baby can lie on their tummy (but not when you're sleeping too)

I bought a motorised swing as well which was a life saver!

Infacol.

And this is what dummies are for!

You might be too early. You will have to see whether he can get the transition and still keep his latch. If too early just go back to no dummy then try again in a week or so.

You have my sympathy OP. My baby was very much like this in the first few weeks.

A lot of good advice from previous posters. For my daughter it was due to silent reflux and a tongue tie creating a feeding issue. She would be very uncomfortable after a feed and would cry and groan constantly leading to her being overtired. The tongue tie also caused her pain due to excessive gas and being unable to take a full feed.

Unfortunately the health professionals are not always helpful, especially for first time parents. I’ve just had my third baby and was told ‘babies cry and babies be sick’. It infuriated me as I knew there was a bigger problem. Don’t be fobbed off if you feel there is more to it. I was also told my baby wasn’t tongue tied after a 2 second look in the mouth by a HV (a specialist later confirmed she was).

I hope things settle soon for you soon.

Oh 😆 the projectile vom!
milk being wooshed across the room
( BF ) It was scary at the time-
but health visitor said it was normal.
Colicky “sicky” babies 👶 in early weeks are common.
@hereismydog DS is grown now, over 6 foot and I can laugh about it now, but really was at wit's end when it was happening.

Massage and peppermint smelling gripe water was the oldskool method- Not sure what is in the more modern (?) Infacol but worth a go.
Good Luck!
Purple crying they call it in America, I think?

Interesting that Infacol contains simeticone - used for adult wind pain.

No wonder it’s so effective! 💨

Bit late to the thread but my daughter is 6 weeks and has been getting painful wind, it's heard breaking hearing her sobs. One thing that's helped is putting her in the carrier (we have an ergobaby embrace), I don't know what it is, possibly being tightly against me but it helps soothe her so much more than just holding her. Just a suggestion. I hope it gets easier soon x

Hi OP, I feel you. My daughter was like this with projectile vomitting and it turned out to be reflux and CMPA (took months for her to get diagnosed), so see if you can rule these out (you'd actually have to eliminate dairy in your diet though for a few weeks rather than just minimising).