Speaking about your job in public- is it ok?

[ohhcrumbs]

My friend is a medical professional at a hospital and we met for a coffee and had a walk after. We were just walking around a park but it was very busy, as it usually is, on a weekend. We caught up about family etc and then she was telling me about work. She didn’t mention anything identifying but did say things like ‘I was rushed off my feet and didn’t stop’ and ‘dealt with someone who so rude to -name of colleague-, swore and spat at her and then deliberating started peeing everywhere, I couldn’t wait to get home’

From the way she was talking anyone that was walking ahead of us or behind us might’ve heard and been able to assume her vocation and think she was talking negatively about it. I pointed this out to her and she seemed a bit offended and said she would never mention anything identifying, like name, age, circumstances or anything. I think saying a person swore and spat is identifying enough and if any members of the public heard and reported it she could surely get disciplined or sacked? I’ve come home and mentioned it to DH and he thinks I’m being daft as nobody would’ve been near enough or tuned in to what she was saying, but I think she shouldn’t have been talking about it. Then again- I don’t work public facing so I’m not really sure about the etiquette!

What’s MN thoughts?

I think you're taking it too far

Like she said, if she didn't say anything identifying then I can't see anything wrong with this

I suppose that’s true. I should’ve just left her to it, it doesn’t have to concern me, but I am a worrier to a fault.

It’s awful to expect people to put up with that at work and not mention it outside work.

If she were talking about a family where a child was sick and the mum was [insert insult here] and the dad was barely there because he was outside smoking and drinking, then I’d see your point- it’s both judgemental and identifying.

But saying you’ve even spat at and sworn at on shift… and barely had time to pee- perfectly reasonable.

I can talk about my job as long as I don't mention names, DH can't
It sounds like what your friend said was fine as long as there were no identifying details

She’s your friend, sounding off to her friend about the shite she has to deal with at work and didn’t mention anything remotely identifying. Poor woman.

Firstly, she has a job/career, not a vocation. She may love the job, she may be very driven in her job, she may never have wanted to do anything else, but it is still a job/career. The assumption that it is a vocation is one of the reasons medical professionals are treated so poorly.

Secondly, unless she was including identifying information, she did nothing wrong. Unfortunately, given what doctors and nurses have to deal with on a daily basis, saying someone swore and spat at a colleague is not in anyway identifying.

Oh, and talking negatively about your job when you have to deal with crap like that is to be expected. So what if someone overhearing thinks she was talking negatively about it? People should be aware of the crap medical professionals have to deal with on a daily basis

Get a grip OP!

I think saying a person swore and spat is identifying enough
This could be any number of professions!!! GP receptionist, front of house in a hotel, staff on the tube, police officer, someone working in a cafe, at a food bank, charity shop!

if any members of the public heard and reported it she could surely get disciplined or sacked
Report it to who???

You already said that she didn't identify where she works, anyone's names or personal identifiers. It sounds like she has a horrendous job and I'd be supporting her and not acting the way you are!

Absolutely fine.

She wasn’t at work, didn’t mention any names, she was just blowing off steam on a walk with a ‘friend’ who decided to scold her for thinking out loud about her shitty shift!

If I’d mentioned to a friend that I’d been hit, spat at, verbally abused and had things thrown at me, I could’ve been talking about any shift I’d ever done on my previous ward as it happens ALL the time. Nothing identifying about it at all.

Everyone needs to vent about their job from time to time. Unless you're a spy or something, that's perfectly fine. She hasn't breached anyone's confidentiality rights.

I think you're ridiculous OP and not a very good friend.

She's well within her rights to complain about being spat at at work! So what if someone hears and reports it?! What are they going to say "I overheard one of your doctors saying they don't like being spat at"?! Good grief.

Get a grip.

This. Her working life is tough and she was venting to a friend. A friend who then told her off. Guess she will be a lot more careful about what she shares with you in future.

Also it’s not for you to worry about if she is saying too much or jeopardising her job, that’s a her issue, it’s overstepping and fairly patronising to ‘point out’ to her that her words might be compromising her job.

If it was my mate I would sympathise and take her for a bloody big hot chocolate/wine.

You’re being ridiculous OP, and also a little paranoid, of course people can talk about their work, unless they’ve signed the official secrets act and they work for M15 or something, you’re being silly.

She needs to be able to download. She maintained confidentiality and you do sound a little paranoid. Clearly slagging off your employer in an identifying way isn’t ok but this doesn’t sound like that?

I think saying a person swore and spat is identifying enough and if any members of the public heard and reported it she could surely get disciplined or sacked?

Did she have her name and place of work tattooed across her forehead?

If not, I think she's good.

You're a terrible friend and I'd never confide in you again. Who do you think you are to control what she talks about? She wasn't being inappropriate or breaking confidentiality, leave her alone!

My friend is a medical professional at a hospital
She will have had the rules of confidentiality drummed into her since Day One!
I don’t work public facing so I’m not really sure about the etiquette!
And yet you thought you could lecture her on the subject!!?

Is this a reverse?

Good grief, what a petty jobsworth you are. Hopefully your friend can talk to her other friends without judgement.

sacked

So despite years if training on her part and no experience of a similar role on your part, you decided that you know best about what constitutes unprofessional behaviour? That's so offensive!

Sounds like she just wanted to offload to a friend.

Me and my friends share a lot more information about our jobs than you've described because we're friends and interested in each other's lives.

I'm sorry but if someone is spitting at her and then pissing everywhere she has every right to be venting about it to a trusted friend.

I think you may need to break down what you are worried about, what would actually happen, think about the things that say Donald Trump is saying and nothing happens does it!

OP- is this what you expect would happen? 🙄

Police emergency helpline- 'How can I help?'
Person walking in park- 'Well officer, I was walking in the park and overheard a women discussing her horrendous job. She said she gets spat on, people urinating on the floor and are rude to her'
Police- 'That sounds awful. And what is this womans' full name?'
Person- 'I don't know?'
Police- 'And where does she work?'
Person- 'Well, I don't know that either!'
Police- 'What exactly do want us to do?'
Person-' Well obviously officer, I want her sacked!!!'

Police- 'Ahh, right, ok, I see mam, I'm going to put you through the the mental health support team to help you!'

I think you're being utterly daft sorry OP. There's nothing wrong with complaining about your job. Maybe don't do it in earshot of your boss, but even then it's just a bad career move.

She gave out no patient data, nothing identifying.

Not much of a friend OP, she could do without you.