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3 replies

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 09/02/2025 11:28

I’m wondering if a friendship is becoming too much. I feel myself distancing slightly.

i have known her for five years. The reason I feel guilty for doing this to her is because she helped me when it came to getting a job in her exact position when she left the company and also listened to me complain regularly whenever worked together before and after work about how bad the leadership was.

buf as time has gone on she seems to just get more selfish in conversations. So last Monday she texted me a whole paragraph about her tonsillitis and how she walked into a glass door. I replied asking after her wellbeing. She ignored it. Then she text me asking how I am on Friday. I responded with the fact that I’m really unwell. Work has been extremely busy. The whole response I recieved it return was just all linked to her life then. So totally ignored the fact she could have asked about my wellbeing too. Talked about the orchestra performance she watched and the meal she had with her husband and how she now fully recovered from tonsillitis.

im just getting a bit worn down by it lately. Part of my wants to say something. The other part of me hates confrontation and is just choosing distance

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 09/02/2025 11:31

Has it ever been an actual friendship or more of a good acquaintance? It doesn’t sound like you have deep significance for her so I think you can just let it fade out. Relationships like this tend to have their season - you can pay it back by helping someone else as she helped you

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 09/02/2025 11:46

theduchessofspork · 09/02/2025 11:31

Has it ever been an actual friendship or more of a good acquaintance? It doesn’t sound like you have deep significance for her so I think you can just let it fade out. Relationships like this tend to have their season - you can pay it back by helping someone else as she helped you

We did regularly go out outside of work and go to each others houses so yeah I would say we did have a friendship but it’s fading into acquaintances

OP posts:
takeoffeh · 09/02/2025 13:29

"did" is in the past.
This person did help you get a new position at work and she did help you settle in.
You did have a friendship where you visited each other.

Now though, it has evolved into an unsatisfactory situation where you keep in touch but there's no interaction from her and none expected from you.

I agree with the PP.
You should consider letting it slide away, as it has had its day.
Look for ways to pay forward the help she gave you once, by lending a friendly hand to help someone else, when they need it.

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