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Original poster

Genuinely how do you respond in this parenting scenario?

59 replies

Settyhetty · 06/02/2025 18:47

Young son aged 7. In the mornings he is so slow doing everything to the point we are late to school and me to work. I gave him countdowns, warnings etc but he is just slow.

do you them implement a consequence or is it better to ramp up the encouragement and even dress him? I don’t want to move back to doing everything for him

OP posts:
ByQuaintAzureWasp · 07/02/2025 16:37

Anothernameonthewall · 06/02/2025 18:55

Wake him up half an hour earlier so you have time?

This, after giving him a few war rings tgat it's going to happen if he can't do what he needs to do in time given

reluctantbrit · 07/02/2025 16:38

DD was this, part of her ADHD.

The best solution for us was that I was already fully ready and could concentrate on her.
Waking up, getting dressed, downstairs for breakfast
Teeth and hair in the downstairs toilet in the beginning to avoid going up again.
Bags etc all set up the night before so we just grabbed water bottle and snack/lunch.

Absolutely no books, no toys, no screens.

After a couple of months she was able to brush teeth upstairs.

She then moved to Alexa reminders herself and now her phone has a huge number of alerts but she is never late.

WorkMisery · 07/02/2025 16:43

Make it super easy - clothes out night before, bag packed night before, coat on the radiator, shoes by the door ready to put on.

Get up earlier than him so you have breakfast waiting on the table.

Electric toothbrush with a timer on it so he knows when his 2 mins are up.

Get him to “race you” on each task and keep a score pad on the kitchen wall. My ds is hugely motivated by beating me and his dad soundly - whether it’s “bet you can’t spell this word/do this sum” or “bet you can’t get dressed before me”.

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Families
Ppzd · 07/02/2025 17:09

polkadotpixie · 06/02/2025 23:22

I have one of these too and he's driving me insane! We are late every morning and I end up incredibly stressed, he's had me in tears more than once

I have tried asking nicely (87 times), shouting, pleading, bribing, explaining the importance of being on time for school, threatening consequences etc...nothing works!

I have had very limited success with timers but still not great. I also have a 3 month old velcro baby with bad reflux that I can't put down so I struggle to physically dress him etc myself

Clothes are out/bags packed etc all done the night before and we get up 1.5 hours before we need to leave, it's not lack of organisation, he just takes 10 minutes to put on a sock and if I send him to brush his teeth he'll come back after ages in the bathroom, having not done it but instead had a poo and played with water for 5 minutes! He takes 20 minutes to eat one pain au chocolate!

He has no Switch or iPad before school and banning the TV makes no difference, he just stares into space or starts jumping off the furniture instead, I am at my wits end

What about you set a time when you need to drive off, let's say 8.25, and whatever isn't done/finished by then will be done in the car. So you start the day with things that obviously have to be done at home (brushing teeth, toilet ...), then finish things that are not done by 8.25 in the car (pain au chocolat, putting socks and shoes on, brushing hair...).
Also, put baby in a carrier as soon as you're ready too, you'll be a bit more physically free to do stuff.

DrRichardWebber · 07/02/2025 17:16

Honestly I dress my 7 year old myself while she’s still in bed. She’s such a night owl and really struggles getting up in the morning. If I didn’t dress her we just wouldn’t get to school ever. Not ideal but won’t last forever I’m sure.

Phineyj · 07/02/2025 17:19

What @comedycentral says!

That approach works for us. Plus no going back upstairs once child is downstairs.

Also have spares of everything.

Whoyoutakingto · 07/02/2025 18:33

comedycentral · 06/02/2025 18:57

Have everything ready the night before: uniform (including underwear and socks), toothbrush, paste, and hair comb in the bathroom; shoes, bag, and coat by the back door. I'd even prepare cereal in a bowl in the fridge—just add milk! Gamify it with Google Home reminders or sand timers, rewards, and encouragement.

This……I had four kids single parent, four different places to drop off, drive for an hour to commute. Everything ready, no distractions ie tv etc just clothes, breakfast, teeth then out.
I made a decision very early on to always be very bright and cheerful in a morning, never moan or nagged as it doesn’t start the day well. Might take some practice but doable and always leave in plenty of time so any problems eg dog eating packed lunch left unguarded we’re not a complete disaster.

Fundays12 · 07/02/2025 18:37

No tv of technology in the morning. Lay everything out the night before, have everything ready like packed lunch, drinks etc. Same wake up time and sand routine every morning. Reward with tv or something once they are totally ready including socks and jumper on, jacket and shoes out etc.

yikesanotherbooboo · 07/02/2025 18:41

I went for getting up earlier. It worked really well .

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