Does anyone else obsess / feel bad about stupid things they’ve said or done in the past?

[Nicecuppatea2025]

Just that really.

Can’t get to sleep because I’m either worrying about work, or picking over mistakes and stupid things I’ve said and done over the past 25 years.

It just goes round and round in my head, and I just feel a total douchebag.

Does anyone else do this?

No

There is no point going over old ground all the time. Sometimes you just have to accept something crappy happened and promise yourself you will try your level best not to do it again. You can't change it but you can change your narrative.

What are you worrying about?

Yes, it’s a miserable thing. I have no advice to offer, but I can empathise.

Sometimes. We’re all learning though, life’s a journey and all that. I guess you’ve got to be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break. Nobody else is perfect.

That cycle of anxiety is horrible and I totally understand what you're going through. I can recommend a book called "Making Friends with Anxiety" by Sarah Rayner. I read it on kindle when I was going through a particularly horrific night and it was very helpful.

That was an emphatic NO @MarkingBad I am envious! 😂

Yes, but I have a diagnosis of OCD.

Thank you for the book recommendation @Oleaginus i will check it out.

Interesting. How does that contribute? If you don’t mind me asking.

I tend to obsess over things - over and over. I'm more likely to have episodes when I'm depressed. Apparently, that's common in sufferers.

In my 60s now. Got my diagnosis when I was in my 30s. The medics refer to "obsessive ruminations".

Just to add that the popular notion of someone with OCD being into constant handwashing and tidying isn't the norm.

Yes. All the time. I think of things I have done wrong or not quite right and also bad things that have happened. It drives me mad and keeps me awake at night. I know it is stupid as there is nothing to do about it but it still goes round my head.
Distraction is the only way to control these intrusive thoughts. Mindfulness doesn’t work for me as I can’t seem to get past my thoughts. But I will continue trying.
Good luck and I think it is normal.

Yes. This sums it up.

😆

I'm sure I've had a moment of rumination or two at some point but then I think fuck it, what makes me so damn wonderful I have to be perfect.

Selfishly, relieved I’m not alone! (Apart from lucky @MarkingBad!).

DH head hits the pillow and he’s asleep, so he has no idea what I’m talking about.

@WearyAuldWumman just read up on OCD on the NHS site. Crikey, I think it’s describing me!!

I had this in pregnancy. Fairly shameless most other times. I think for me at least there's some certain hormonal state that induces intense cringe-making flashbacks. It's really horrible, I'm grateful it's stopped.

Yes, sometimes about things I did aged seven. Usually social missteps that are almost certainly because I'm autistic.

I wish I could forget.

Just to add that a medic recently suggested that I might have ASD and ADHD. Apparently, it's often misdiagnosed as OCD in women and girls? Mind you, in such a case the OCD is just a symptom rather than the full diagnosis if you understand my meaning.

I did mention to my GP. She laughed and said "What's normal?"

Not really much point in looking for a diagnosis at 64, to be honest!

But yes - if you're constantly worrying, it does sound like OCD. There can be a genetic element. I've just discovered that an older cousin also has it.

Oh, that sounds familiar.

Doesn't everybody? I cringe often about things that have happened over the past 30 years, even things I did as a child. Not much to be done really, I just have the thought, cringe and try to think baoht something else.

YES!!! in a word OP

Yes. I feel bad about things I did over 30 years ago and they weren’t even that bad if I’m honest. Stupid things I said or forgot to do. It’s exhausting and just adds to my low self esteem. I just can never forgive myself.

This sums it up for me too. Rumination is a classic sign of depression and other mood disorders.
I would disagree that it’s normal though. Depends on the level of happens I suppose but rumination is something to talk to your GP about if it’s impacting your daily life or sleep.

I used to until I learned to say, ‘this is the first second of my life’. As soon as those intrusive thought come in , I imagine that I have just been born. This is a start afresh moment. I can’t do anything about it now. Move on and resolve to learn to do better.

I actually thought of starting a thread on this. Like you selfishly glad I'm not alone. Would love to lose the painful feeling that washes over me when I think of them. It has got worse as I've got older. Sometimes it's not even anything bad as such just that I made a fool of myself trying to do the right thing. Hate it so much.

Yes, it’s weird isn’t it? I feel like it’s a Pandora’s Box - one negative thought is holding hands with another and they all come out like paper dolls. I’ve started listing things I’m grateful for, my eyesight, my children, my warm bed etc. It works better than counting sheep and has a soothing effect on my nervous system.