Finally moving and now riddled with anxiety about it

[lemonsandlimes2]

We have a toddler in a small one bed, so we are sharing rooms. We basically cannot afford to live in the city we are in anymore, a two bed is extortionate and the only reason we can afford our one bed is because we have lovely landlords as other properties nearby are a lot more expensive. I have been going on about moving ever since our DC was born because it is very cramped. but I love the area, close to everything, lovely neighbours, best landlord which is a rarity. Our landlord doesn’t have any other properties so no option there.

I found a lovely two bed but it’s a 30 min drive away. The rent is the same we are paying now but we get two double bedrooms, massive kitchen and lounge. Lovely bathroom and a balcony!
It’s actually closer to work for me and DH, theress a nursery nearby. I have family and friends near too. So all ideal really.
Me and my husband have debts, so
This gives us an opportunity to save for longer. Ive had to borrow money from family for the deposit.

We get a lot more for our money and loads of shops in walking distance. But it’s just not the city we live in, where there are tons of restaurants and bars at our door step. My favourite park 5 mins up the road. But I know we have to move.

All of a sudden I’m getting what I wanted (bigger place) but not where I wanted location wise, I want to stay where we are, but that choice is really out of our hands as this is what we can afford, it’s the closest place to where we are now, and gives us a longer chance to save but now we actually will have some room. But I’m absolutely terrified and currently having a panic
attack and crying. Why have I gone from desperately wanting to move and now we can and I’m scared? I’m not excited anymore. I’m gutted we can’t afford to live where we are and actually feeling quite upset.

I know thisis absolutely pathetic and I can’t shake it off as I’m devestated we can’t afford a bigger place here.

Change is scary, it's ok to feel jittered by it all.

But, you have a perception of your area as being desirable based on bars and restaurants... But you're in debt, so really those attractive lifestyle options would be better to be absent, you might be less likely to indulge what you can't afford.

It's ok to focus on what you're worried you are losing, but notice that it's what you're doing and then remind yourself that the losses of those lifestyle choices on your doorstep is not a game changer for a couple with debts and a toddler... Whereas what you are gaining totally is!!

Ask your emotional reactions to heed your head for a moment and pause the panic.

The voice you are making is sensible and likely to set you up for a better future than starting of put... And his you are doing it before sharing a room with your little one is obviously a problem

I think it’s normal to feel like this. You love your home, you’ve had your first child when living there, you probably will miss it. However, your new place sounds great and your little one will have their own space, which they’ll really need soon. Restaurants and bars are great but how often do you use them and if you’re saving then not being so close to them will help. I’m sure you’ll feel good about the move once you are settled in.

What's better for your child? That's the only thing that matters.

Our child is happy sleeping in with us but that’s all she’s known I suppose, but I know it won’t be ideal forever and she needs her own room. We do need the bigger space longer term. In my panicky state I’m just questioning the whole thing, taking her out of her nursery and in a new one. I don’t know. I wish I could calm.

Trying to calm yourself is good but easier said than done sometimes. But planning the change can help give you a sense of control. So if there are any little things you can be doing now to make the transition easier are probably worth doing.
It's there anyone you can talk to who can help you keep things in perspective and give you faith that improvements will come out of this? A good friend maybe?

Well surely not having restaurants and bats nearby will mean you save more!

There are advantages to the new place, big ones I would say if it’s less of a commute for you surely it’s more quality time at home

just look to the positives of the move

I think I’m feeling quite shocked that I’m maybe not as good with change as I thought I was! I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me