I know nobody can really know but does anyone have any idea what he could mean??

[irntgooh]

I know nobody will know the exact answer to this but just asking in case it means something I'm unaware of..

My brother had ASD and we as a family are struggling at the moment with the way he is acting/treating us, Long story short it's like if we ever do something for him or to help him he will twist it around into us doing something bad to him.

One small example is recently I got a new phone, there was nothing wrong with my old one and it was in perfect condition etc so I asked my brother if he wanted it as I knew his has a cracked screen, He said yes please I would love it. Gave it to him then that night got a text from him saying 'You shouldn't control people' I asked what he meant and he said I forced him to have a samsung phone when maybe he wanted an iphone but because I asked if he wanted my samsung he is now 'stuck' with it and I'm a manipulative controlling person for forcing a phone on him he didn't want or ask for..

Bought him a christmas gift and he went mad at me saying I was messing with his head..

Constant things like that.

The reason for the thread..

He sometimes asks me and my mum to borrow him a bit of money until his pay day and he pays it back, Generally the odd £20 which is fine, my mum noticed when he paid her back the last time next to the payment reference on the bank app he wrote 'Forced to pay this'

I then checked mine and he had put 'taking my money off me' and variants of that.. It's always something that makes us look bad or makes it look like we are forcing him to give us money when in reality he is just paying us back what he owes us.

It's the first time we have looked at his payments back to us so didn't notice until now. Since seeing everything he wrote we have stopped giving him any money.

A lot of the payment references say 'FT' next to it. So instead of writing something like 'Forced to give this money' he simply started writing 'FT' and nothing else.

Struggling to think of what 'FT' could mean.. He refuses to tell us.

Longest shot in the world but does anyone have any ideas of what he could mean by FT?

FT = Forced To?

Forced transfer

It would probably be more worth trying to get him some help rather than trying to work out what FT stands for. Any answers will only be speculation and he doesn't sound particularly well (I don't think this can be blamed on autism)

Well that would be the last time I'd lend him money or give him anything!

Give him nothing more.

He sounds paranoid, OP. Does he live with your parents?

Stop giving him anything.
He sounds manipulative, and like things could escalate.

It sounds as though there are some deeper problems going on here, beyond ASD.

that is partly why i was trying to find out what it could mean, my mum has an appointment tomorrow to talk about the best way to help him, he has been getting more and more paranoid over the last few months and he is treating us all badly, he is also not coping living independantly so we are trying to get it all sorted, the bank thing is just a small part of it all.

gave it to him for nothing.

FT - Fuck This?

Or Fuck them 🤷🏻‍♀️

If this is after you called him out on writing "forced to pay this" then it's almost certainly him writing the same thing but (badly) disguised ie FT = forced to pay.

Is he schizophrenic? He sounds very paranoid. I would be a bit worried tbh.

Is it possible that he takes drugs? Paranoia and smoking weed often go hand in hand.

I would guess Forced To/Forced transfer or Fuck This as answers.

It's hard to tell whether he's just moody or if he's having MH issues like paranoia where his thinking is getting warped. It doesn't sound good and doesn't sound especially ASD-related so there may be other things going on.

I was thinking the same thing

I would stop lending money and giving him things.

I'd be thinking he's developed something like schizophrenia.

WRT him accusing you of manipulating him by giving him a Christmas present, does he react like this immediately or some time later?

I was wondering if he was being groomed (perhaps online) by somebody who is seeking to isolate him from his family in order to control him for some reason. If these reactions are some time after the event, it could be because in the intervening time his groomer is suggesting these unpleasant motives to him, so he loses trust in his family and becomes dependent on the groomer.

FT is a standard banking term that means Funds Transfer. It appears on all of my payments to my daughter.

However I would definitely not lend him any more money if he's going to write other references. The banks are very hot on checking that people aren't being scammed so could take him seriously.

That's obviously not what this man means, though. He's saying he's forced to make a payment, so "paid under duress". Funds Transfer is a banking term - he's not a banker.

Hope the appointment is helpful, good luck and sorry you are going through this

On a practical note, you and your mum need to protect yourselves from accusations. So if you do loan him money make sure you put it into his bank titled 'loan' rather than give cash so the money trail is clear. A serise of payments from him to the two of you could cause issues if he insists he is being 'forced' to make payments to you and you have no evidence otherwise.

The OP says that his most recent payments just say FT and that is what the bank put against all such payments. I sent my daughter £10 and the reference i entered was 'a treat'. On my banking app, this appears as 'a treat FT' - the bank added FT. I'm not disputing that his other references are worrying but FT on its own is the bank, not him.