If you have DCs who go to secondary school together

[Cofkdsfw]

How long do you expect the older one to walk back with the younger one?

Like after the first few months, would you still expect an older sibling to walk back with the younger one?

If the younger one forgot their bus ticket would you expect the older one to also forego the bus and walk?

It’s maybe a bit different here because they walk to and from the bus stop so their friends aren’t here to provide an alternative, but mine always walk up and down together

Yeh not at all, sorry. Unless maybe the gap was just a year and they were super close. My three DC were at the same secondary for just one year and they certainly didn’t walk back together. Or there. No bus tho.

I went to the same school as my sister and had to catch a bus - we never walked or caught it together at all.

Ds1 is yr 13, dd is yr 11. If I don’t pick them up (2 mile walk), they always wait for each other and walk together. Their friends don’t live in our direction and they enjoy each others company and get on really well. Think dd is dreading ds1 leaving this summer! Ds2 is still yr 5 so will only have 1 yr being in high school with dd.

Because DBro was a boy and I was a girl.

So?

Sex-wise btw I have B-G-B but I doubt if ds1 would consider walking to support dd. She wouldn’t want it anyway I bet.
They also did different after school clubs as well. Ds1 and dd did film club together tbf in years 9 and 7 so I guess they came hone together after that.

DBro was supposed to "protect me" I guess.

I was wondering how common this was in other families. I have always felt that this was overprotective.

Never. At secondary they are old enough to go and come home alone.

I mean, statistically, you're much more likely to come to harm from your brother, any other males living in your home, and even the boys / teachers you spent all day at school with.

Completely random attacks on strangers are actually incredibly rare.

Why raise it now? Are you wanting to raise it with a parent?

My parents treated sons and daughters the same in terms of personal safety and so did I. Ex treats our daughter as more “fragile” even though she’s just as capable as her brothers eg he was shocked that she built her own flat pack for her room when he expected our sons to cope fine at a younger age.

I have three at the same secondary school. I asked the Y11 to walk home with the Y7 on his first day. By the second day, the Y7 messaged the Y11 to tell him not to wait as he'd found "better friends" to walk with 🤣 (had met them that day).

Just a niggling feeling I've had. DBro never hurt me. He never would.

Long story short. DMum was completely overprotective? I just needed confirmation on that.

Mine did but they are very close, two boys 3 years apart. I also walked with my sister to and from the bus stop to school. Dh didn't though with his sister, they were not close.

a) How did the older one travel before the younger one joined the school?
b) How would they travel if one was ill and the other wasn't?
c) How would they travel if one had a club and the other didn't?

While the honest answer to all those questions is both of them, or the younger one at least would always get taken/dropped off in those scenarios, then yes you can expect them to travel together. If not, then they are clearly both ok to travel separately, so they never need to travel together.

My DCs walked together, but it was only for a term and a half because covid hit and when the schools reopened DS1 started at sixth form in a different school.

It was their choice to walk together. For them I think it would have felt weird going separately to the same place, and they like chatting to each other. Also most children going to that school seemed to live on the other side of it to us so neither really had anyone else to walk with.

When I started secondary school my twin and I didn't walk together. We'd been in different classes in a large primary school and had separate friends. We didn't even walk in the same direction to get there, we each walked different ways to call on our friends.

I never had all three in secondary at the same time, but DC1 and DC2 did come home together on the bus. DC2 and DC3 either walked together or came on the bus. Their choice for the most part. Most of their friends were going different directions or being picked up.

I had someone pick up DC1 for the first two years in secondary, and then when DC2 started, they came home together. Never been an issue and they're still really close as adults.

Never. They're embarrassed by each other. Although dd wouldn't mind as much as ds, even though he (older) will do more damage to her cred than the other way round.

Imo it's not your older DC's job to walk your younger DC home. If you're not comfortable with your younger DC walking home alone then you should make arrangements that don't involve your older DC having to look after their sibling.

I have 3DC at the same secondary school, GGB. They all walk in separately from
each other, with their own friends. It’s a mile walk, and there’s loads of kids walking in. It’s social for them. Middle DD has a slightly complicated set up when she walks in with different friends on specific days, but it seems to work for her. The other two walk in with the same group of friends each day. If there was any kind of problem though on the route to/from school, I would expect older DD (Y11) to step in and help the younger two (Y7 and Y8).

Elder DS has helped me out on occasion by picking up primary aged DD from after school
Club when I've been stuck in traffic but that's as a favour to me and he's an adult. It's never been his job to protect her or bear any responsibility for her. I pay him if he babysits for her for longer than an hour.

Is this a question you’re asking about your childhood rather than about your kids?

my DC overlapped for one year, don’t think they ever walked home together apart from accidentally coinciding on the way home. When DC2 and DC3 are both there I can’t imagine they will walk together either.

Nowadays, we would probably say overprotective.

But you need to remember it was a different era. What’s considered normal/bizarre wpuld have been quite different then.

Never.
They each walked with their own friends.

Occasionally they walked home together but mostly on their own. Sometimes older ones had extra classes.

I would never force it or expect it.

I had a dreadful experience of being forced to walk with a sibling for protection - we both absolutely hated it and it caused real conflict in our relationship.

This thread is so bizarre to me. Mine walk together and look out for each other, say hi when they see each other throughout the day. It’s the same for most of the people I know in the same position.

Don’t most of yours like each other? 😅