"Do you have any allergies?"

[GriseldaMolestrangler]

We're all getting asked this aren't we? I get asked it daily by the same person in the same coffee takeaway that I go to and get the same things every day. I know they can't be expected to remember everyone. Some places though don't ask at all.

Does it get on your nerves?
Are you happy that food places are taking responsibility?

I’ve only ever been asked that by a doctor. Probably need to get out more.

And the girl last year who died after a hot chocolate at Costa.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy0ryvk4jj7o.amp

Honestly OP, it's the best way to avoid preventable deaths.

No, I don’t take her to fast food restaurants and I avoid restaurants as much as possible, which is doable as she is very young. I don’t know what her future will be like as I spent so much of my 20s eating out with work dinners, or brunches with friends, or going to restaurants on holidays. I feel really sad for her and concerned that she will either be socially isolated or end up dead.

One day it will be easily one in ten to various degrees, mild to severe. It is not just children as the rise started in the 60s onwards so soon allergy will be prevalent in the elderly. They messed with the food and the environment and it caused abnormal immune responses in some that then get passed in the DNA. For those who think it is a nonsense, wait til it is your child or grandchild.Having an allergy that you do not grow out of, is a lifelong daily vigilance, you can never just relax.

It's good that we are asked. It would also be nice if some common allergens were not used where they don't need to be. Mustard in sandwiches that don't contain mayo and aren't using mustard as a condiment for ham etc. It also crops up in shepherds pie and pasta sauces completely unnecessarily.

To flip it around as someone who has a peanut allergy, sometimes being asked then leads to a different conversation that’s not a yes or no…

Now I’m happy to take measured risks on stuff as discussed with the hospital allergy team, but what if I forget to mention it because I eat there regularly, but the staff ask and my answer prompts that the ingredients have been updated. Or the kitchen is no longer nut free when it used to be, or the recipe has changed, or any number of things that could maybe be on a sign I’ve possibly not looked for but on knowing then don’t want to take that risk?

What if it’s a friend ordering for me?

What if it’s someone unsure when to mention the “I have an allergy” issue (it can get pretty awkward, even though you know it could save your life)?

That two second question could prompt either the customer or the server to avoid a situation that’s in the best case a terrible fright for all involved and a hospital trip, at worst a death that could have been prevented. Yes, those like me with allergies need to (and do) take responsibility for our own safety but the more people who actively prompt, allergy sufferer or not, the better the awareness and the smaller the risk becomes.

Hi, I want to say to you as been through it, I have a late teen that has allergies in the most severe form. Not isolated at all, loads of friends and goes out lots. Achieving academicly and super ambitious Has to be super careful and carry all meds.

Me as a mum, always glued to my phone in case of an emergency, worry about ambulance getting there quickly. Yes, I know I am more likely than others to get the dreaded call to say my adult child has passed. Nothing I can do. You are not alone x

Having had to deal with serious allergies in the family for about 20 years now I think it's great that more places are taking allergies seriously. If you don't have any allergies the whole "Any allergies?" "No" interaction probably takes less than 30 seconds out of your day, but if you do have allergies it's often helpful. Of course you can tell the server if they don't ask, but it's generally easier if they do and it's reassuring if an establishment clearly has a policy on allergies and can provide clear information about the food that's served. It makes a pleasant change from asking about ingredients, getting a blank look and "err, I don't think so" followed by a dash to the kitchen to check. That rarely leaves you feeling confident!

I am absolutely delighted that they always ask as I have coeliac disease

Same, but my son. Not every place is as conscientious.

Everytime I am asked I think of that poor girl who died and others like her
and thank god I get to say no ( apart from when I’m with mil and it is such a relief places take her allergy seriously

But people don't, which is why it's a necessity to ask. I don't know why either, but I do know I'm going to be held at least partly responsible if I don't ask and then someone gets ill or worse.

I can assure you it's much more annoying to be the one asking and having your head snapped off or eyes rolled at you for it.

It's hardly an ordeal to say 'no' to a question that takes less than a second to ask.

Most places when I tell them that my son has an allergy we have to be served by a manager, given an allergy list and get separate cutlery/crockery etc so we're not really being asked to just 'trust a fast food joint worker to know enough'

Surely there are dozens of interactions every day that take up less than 10 seconds of your day to just say 'no' and move one. Does it really matter that much?!

What about things like 'do you want a receipt?' 'Do you have a clubcard?'
How about just the people that want a receipt/have a clubcard specifically tell staff rather than being asked.

I got asked when buying a bottle of water the other day. It did make me laugh and the girl serving me. She said she was on autopilot, but I'm so glad that that question has made it to autopilot! It could be life saving for someone and I had no issue in answering it.

I'm glad they now ask about this and are taking the issue so much more seriously. It has taken long enough.

We don't have any known allergies in this family, but we do have friends who do. The question doesn't bother me at all. I don't see why anyone would get arsey about it. If they do then I can only assume that they have never encountered anyone with allergies and are clueless

I don't see why anyone would get arsey about it. If they do then I can only assume that they have never encountered anyone with allergies and are clueless

Or because they like to have something to complain about and a captive audience to do so to.

I don't have any food allergies, but I'm pleased that asking about them is becoming more routine as it is for penicillin (which I am allergic to.) Some people are unfortunate enough to have extremely aggressive reactions to things like dairy and nuts, which luckier people like me don't have to spare a second thought. Why wouldn't we want to make them a little safer and more comfortable?

Go through the conversation 😂😂😂 as if that's the most horrendous thing ever. Imagine having to say "no" christ alive how do you get through the day

It's probably a little unnecessary - DH has a couple of anaphylactic allergies and will always raise it/check the allergen menu etc.
But equally, better to be safe than sorry. It's not an arduous question to answer.

I think that while it might be unnecessary for most people with allergies, it is helpful to have the reminder.
Dp's autistic and finds it hard to work out when to say something like that. The prompting is really helpful for her. She also isn't very confident advocating for herself. So I think where someone has an overlap of difficulties it can be helpful to have the question explicitly asked.

When DS had multiple allergies & intolerances, it was awkward to get useful information about the form and risk level of the allergens. Under dietician advice he was able to have trace amounts and certain forms e.g. could eat soya lecithin but not soya flour. With eggs and milk he could after a while eat moderate quantities of forms that had been cooked at a high temperature for a prolonged period.
Often the staff only knew what was in the folder which tended to be yes/ no and the common list of allergens which is of limited use if there is nuance or an unusual allergen.

Ulitimately the question is only as useful as the knowledge of the staff.

I have a friend with nut allergies that has run into issues where a venue decides that nothing is suitable because some items aren't guarenteed to be nut free and could hypothetically have traces that could cross-contaminate anything else. The difficulties with venues going ultra-risk averse and tick sheet lists is that it can discourage honest discussion rather than facilitate informed choice.

I sometimes hesitate while my brain plays catch up with DS having long outgrown his allergies. I do play IBS roulette having a fair idea of my triggers, but again the logistics of nuance make it not worth the discussion of questions such as "is your custard from a tin ✅️ or made with fresh milk 🚽" (I appreciate that this risk level is very different to facial swelling and anaphylactic shock!)

As the parent of a child with anaphylaxis: no. I'm fucking thrilled when people ask. The more open conversations we have and the more normal it becomes, the safer my daughter is, even if that's because we don't eat somewhere!