Why am I suddenly so twitchy about male nurses/hcas?

[EachandEveryone]

I’m a blooming nurse myself!! I’m so annoyed with how I’m feeling. I was admitted and need dressings in an intimate area changing twice a day and it’s agony. The first thing I had done was a ct scan in the middle of the night with only one technician who was so grumpy and who can blame him he had to cannulate me push the dye in and scan me all with one pair of hands and when my hand blew up
as I was in the tunnel I screamed with pain and he told me off. He should never have been on his own.

i have done lovely trainee nurses asking if I need help and obviously they are here to learn so obs etc is fine I just don’t want them washing me or going near my wound. I don’t know if it’s because they are guys or because of their lack of experience. Yesterday I had an old school hca who got me out of bed and scrubbed me down all the while talking to me and I hardly noticed.

do you think I’m reading too much rubbish in the media and it’s rubbed off on me? Or am I just a crap patient and should be greatful I have a hospital bed? (Cancer plus these horrible ulcers that have sprung from no where.)

Maybe you're just feeling vulnerable and you don't want unknown men around you at this time. Hope you're ok

I think day to day health stuff is very different to having a significant diagnosis and needing intimate care. I don’t want men doing intimate exams on me no matter how qualified and professional they might be. I think when you’re feeling vulnerable your tolerance levels change so what you’re normally ok with doesn’t feel so ok.

Having someone, whatever sex they may be, being grumpy with you isn’t ok. Yes their working conditions may not be great but you shouldn’t be having to deal with their issues when you’re in pain and needing care.

Sounds like understaffing seems more of the issue here. Do you feel understaffed?

I had a great male midwife, helped with breastfeeding issues, just really calm knowledgeable. It has never bothered me, but I think it’s totally understandable if you want someone of the same sex carrying out your care.

Do you think there is shortage of male nurses? I know a lot of men who are also uncomfortable with intimate procedures performed by female nurses. Do you think we need to recruit more of both so people can have more of a preference?

You got told off, it was unpleasant, and it was a male. It might have activated an old memory of being told off by a male family member or teacher. Your defences just want to avoid future unpleasantness. It is ok to ask for a chaperone even when it's busy and even when you are a nurse 💐

Its the NHS of course its 8 patients to one nurse. Nothing to do with having to recruit more men.

It’s completely reasonable to not want males to perform your intimate care. That’s your privacy right.

OP i totally get it. Bizarrely I am very happy with male gynaes, they are usually incredibly fast and sensitive - I've see three this year and I have no issues.

But I'd be horrified if a male HCA (that's someone who isn't a trained nurse, am I right?) were to wash me.

Yadnbu

But surely at least a third of people of visit are men who need an intimate exam? Are a third of nurses male as that hasn’t been my experience.

There’s a lot more make nurses now especially from abroad.

I think it is the washing thing the poor lad came in tonight asking to change my sheets no problem but then asked if he could help me get washed I said no I’ll wait til tomorrow. I can’t reach in my creases and I just don’t want a young bloke having a go. Strangely if he was my age and qualified I wouldn’t mind as much.

I can almost guarantee you that the majority of men do not prefer other men doing their cares and don’t give two hoots about a female nurse doing it @Plaided i think you are just trying to wind me up,

totally get where you are coming from OP and how you feel Is how you feel.

Just as a different point though, it’s not nurses or hca that do CT or MRI scans. It’ll be a radiographer who is trained totally differently and has never been a nurse.
He shouldn’t have told you off, but you’ve recognised that there’s lots of pressures. I think it’s normal when you see so many different health care workers to get twitchy about it.

Sorry i know he is a radiographer he comes to my ward 😃 still, it is alot to have one on their own duringbthe day I see a minimum of two working together.

The radiographer should have reacted immediately to your poor cannulatiom the CT contrast dye can be very harmful if extravasated he should have reacted immediately.

He said I stopped it when you shouted and I could see it on the scan. Honestly, I’m all ready in because of skin ulcers I can’t express how fragile my skin is after all the chemo. I don’t know why professionals are so reluctant to use my picc line what’s the point in having it otherwise?

I’m not trying to wind you up, why would I? Just in my experience men prefer men for intimate care and women prefer women. I don’t know why that would be a controversial statement?