Offering NOT to hold baby?

[Mamma28282]

I have a newborn and have immediate family visiting all together in the next few days for a few hours. One has said because they are all coming by public transport none of them will hold the baby at all.

I am slightly OCD about germs but I am sensible and would have just suggested a hand wash before holding the baby. I also have an older child in primary who brings in all the germs anyway.

I thought a few hours of travelling and visiting wouldn't be enough time to catch, incubate and pass on colds and infectious diseases, but maybe I'm wrong? Would you just go along with it and be grateful they are minimising risks?

I would go along with it and then just play by ear on the day. Also some people aren't comfortable holding newborns and politely disguise it as not wanting to pass on germs as that's easier to say than they're terrified they will drop them 😂

I don't get it at all.
It's bonkers not to hold a baby because you go by public transportion.

I suspect they are saying it due to how you are around germs. They probably all want to have a snuggle but preemptively have considered that you probably won't want them to given they are travelling on public transport.

LOL they're probably regular Mumsnetters! 🤣🤣

I’m guessing they are just trying to reassure you if they think you are a germ phobe?

Perhaps they've been on mumsnet and have seen how many posters fret about their babies being held?

So they're being kind and thoughtful. Take them at their word and don't hand them the baby.

Came on to say exactly this 😂

Yes, this is me. If I am passed a baby I hold my breath terrified that the baby will fall or leap out of my arms. I'd much rather wave and smile from a safe distance.

I liked holding my own, I don't want to hold other people's tiny babies.

Exactly what I was thinking .They have read so many MN threads about people not wanting anyone to touch their babies until teenagers so worried that you hold that opinion .
I personally was very happy to hand baby to visitors so I could have my arms back for a while!

Same here
Once they get past 3 months and get a bit of chunk on them I'm all good but the fragile newborn stage I'm alot easier with my own than other people's 😂

They are trying to be nice but if you think they should hold the baby just say so when they arrive. Most people love a newborn snuggle but if they are not comfortable that's ok too.

Until I read MN I never heard of people not letting others hold the baby.

I am childfree by choice. If I was part of this visiting group, I’d be going to see you and/or your partner, not the baby. I’ve never engaged with any of my friends’ babies because I don’t really like them.

But I might say this about not wanting to risk passing on germs as a more polite response to “do you want to hold the baby” than “Eurgh, no thanks. Can’t stand the little blighters!!”

No it's definitely not me. My OCD about germs happened when I moved away and I never imposed it on anyone. I also had to get past it once I had my older child - having a toddler does that. I was relatively relaxed when they did visit my firstborn too. I only mention it as internally I'm a bit happier at not exposing my newborn to too much too fast, but I would also have happily let them hold baby as it's a lovely thing to do.

My family are mostly medical professionals and the older ones are a bit OCD about germs and hand washing (probably why I was too). But as they are also professionals they also know how to manage it sensibly.

I think one of them is speaking for the rest tbh, and they others don't want to rock the boat. They have all managed babies before.

Having said that they are probably trying to be thoughtful. I don't think they are mumsnetters. 😅

Pop round their houses uninvited and see if they answer the door.

It's the only way to tell 🤣

Nailed it.

Gosh, I took my newborn on public transport! I didn’t really consider it! I wouldn’t be able to do any shopping or go to any check up appointments otherwise!!

Are you breastfeeding? You know baby get’s immunity to most things through breastfeeding initially. I find it sad that people don’t let people hold their babies because of worry’s about contagion. I think chances are very small. I asked my gardeners if he’d like to hold my newborn and he gratefully accepted but was suprised saying he thought I’d be really precious. I really didn’t and don’t see a risk. I think building bonds and being social is really important

I’d assume your extreme anxiety is discussed between them and they’re merely trying to reassure you.

Huh? Well that's if you say it's ok then surely they will? Many people take public transport every day and I'm sure a fair few have kids who were newborns at some point!

It's not that extreme, just a bit more hand washing than usual at one point in my life and none of them have been exposed to it as we don't visit or talk to each other very much. I only mentioned mild OCD because it affects how I feel about things being clean, but I had to become more relaxed with my firstborn who is bringing in all the germs daily anyway.

I do know that it comes from my parents who were fastidious about keeping outside germs and dirt from getting inside the home. So I think they are the ones feeling the anxiety.

This is probably the case.