Work anxiety

[NotMoreBadNews]

I have recently started a new role with a lot to learn (and not much training!!), it's full time so I get the weekend off. I can't stop spending weekends feeling anxious that I have done something wrong/thinking about what i need to do the week ahead/hoping I'm making the right impression on people. Help!! Any tips to stop this happening? I have never been an anxious person before.

Has anyone got any advice please?

I think the key to managing this sort of anxiety is to communicate with your new colleagues. I don't mean tell them you spend the weekend worrying! Can you request an informal meeting with your manager to ask for feedback and to ask for help in particular areas you're not sure about? Even just some feedback might help orientate you?

Everyone has to learn and the process of learning for everyone is making some errors. Do not allow your inner perfectionist to interfere with this process! How easy are your new colleagues to chat to generally? Building up some rapport makes it easier to feel comfortable and to ask for a bit of guidance.

As for making the right impression, ultimately you can't manage other people's opinions of you as most people apply their own filters. They gave you the job so they must believe you are able to do it!

Thank you, that's all very helpful! I appreciate you responding. Colleagues and manager all very approachable, no one else does my role which I don't think helps as I don't really have anyone to learn from/compare notes etc. Other people within our group hold my role but I would need to go to a different office to chat with them. Without being too outing I'm a a team lead with a manager above me.

Yes it's tricky and I obviously don't know your environment but it sounds like it's a positive atmosphere. My job is treating people with anxiety and I'm often grateful that a clinical role has a formal system of clinical supervision and overtly asking for guidance. It's easy for me to forget that it's not a thing in many roles/places of work.

Would it be a proactive and well received idea to say that you would like to visit another location to chat to others that hold the same role? At least forming a line of communication with them might be beneficial.

With anxiety, specifically worrying, it's all about intolerance of uncertainty and trying to second guess the endless possibilities (futile and time consuming!) so to my mind, having spent many years with people dealing with anxiety in all its manifestations, my conclusion is "better out than in". Write down the concerns and the questions you have about your role and then ask. Writing down each concern and deciding what action you can take for each concern can have a powerful effect on the rumination and vicious circle of worrying.

They are probably well aware you are trying to work out the role with no similar colleagues nearby. They sound like nice employers so I expect they absolutely want to feedback and answer questions and absolutely don't want you worrying in your free time. Good luck!

Thank you so much! Some great tips and advice, I'm hoping in a few months time it will naturally improve with having more experience as well. I already use the writing things down tactic and it does have a positive affect on me.

I’m in a similar situation to you. I also have an anxiety disorder anyway so I’m trying to use some of the techniques I learned in CBT.

The main one is ‘worry time’ - any time I start to worry about work I distract myself by fully concentrating on another task, even something simple like making a cup of tea or folding laundry. This moves my attention away from the worry. I then have 30 mins ‘worry time’ at the end of the day (not too late) to dedicate to all my worries from the day. Fully focus on the worries and then at the end of the 30 mins, I shift my attention again to something I enjoy doing.

The worst time for me is when I’m trying to sleep but end up thinking about work. Again it’s about shifting the focus, but it’s obviously more difficult with nothing to distract you. Think of a favourite place & imagine you were there. Imagine the things you can see, hear, taste, touch and smell as if you were there.

I’m sure Google can provide better explanations of these techniques but it’s a starting point & possibly worth a try. I hope you start feeling better once you settle into the role.

Thank you @Iamamagpie how long have you been in your role for? I tried the worry time thing but I just can't seem to make it work, often wake in the night thinking about work but I do settle back to sleep quite quickly. If you struggle to get to sleep, Dr Amir Khan had a brilliant tactic on his Instagram recently, it had some great feedback and definitely worth looking up. My opening post said I have never been an anxious person before but now I think back, I probably have been slightly anxious but not to the extent I am now.

I only started my new job 2 weeks ago. I was ok in the first week but had a major freak out this week that I’m not learning as quickly as I should be. I had to fend off a panic attack while driving home and that unsettled me even more.

I’ll look into the Dr Amir Khan advice so thanks for that.

If you think your manager is supportive then please take PP’s advice & speak to them about your work concerns. Hopefully they’ll reassure you & the worrying will gradually reduce.