Can ex mil give ds this amount of money?

[Liesmorelies]

My ds will be going to university in September. Apparently ex's dm has said she will be giving him some money to prevent him getting into debt. At the moment we have no idea how much she means. She had a professional job and has lived a fairly frugal life and I know is very comfortable but I have no idea, obviously, how much she could give.

She is in her late 80s and owns her own home. If she did have the money and wanted to pay his fees and living costs, would this be legally possible? I have another ds 2 years younger also very likely to go university so presumably she would want to treat them equally according to what she could afford. Ds1 has said he will split it 50/50 with his brother if this isn't mentioned.

But can she give away such large sums at her age?

If she pays the Uni direct, it is exempt from IHT even if she dies within the 7years. Education expenses for a child or grandchild are exempt from the gift definition. It’s also not deprivation of assets to reduce care cost liability unless she does something extreme like reverse mortgage on her home or sells her home to do it that then creates a need for the council to house her.

I regret to say that educational expenses are not exempt from inheritance tax if paid by grandparents, only if paid by parents. That's why people set up trusts. Of course the usual exemptions apply - so regular payments from surplus income are OK but you have to have enough surplus income.

Apologies if this has been mentioned but gifts from income that don't affect the living standards of the donor aren't counted for IHT if I understand correctly.
Your DS will need to have a conversation with her as he may need to apply for student loans soon. Fees plus maintenance would be over £20k per year unless you also contribute. For 2 kids for standard 3 year courses that's £120k.

Regular gifts from income that is.