It wasn’t until I bumped into an old school friend when I was in my twenties that I learned that I was known as a posh, wealthy kid. We lived in a big house but all our furniture was second hand, even some of the carpets. My parents shopped in the local sale rooms and furnished the house very cheaply but with really good quality old Edwardian furniture. DF was a DIY wizkid so fitted the kitchen and bathroom, only using a qualified plumber or an electrician for the specialist stuff.
We never considered ourselves as a cut above and often marvelled at friends homes with their fancy 1970s decor and furniture.
But ours was a home not a show home and often a work in progress. My DP instilled in us the value of quality and we have continued in the same vain.
I remember that the keeping up with the Jones’s was all around but on a much smaller scale. It wasn’t about which car you owned but the fact you had a car.
Foreign holidays were not a thing. Although our retired neighbours “travelled”, we thought they were very exotic when they spent two weeks in Spain, but it was pre package holidays.
Clothing was expensive so you didn’t own a great many items. My mDMs cousin used to send us clothing from the USA so we often wore some rather colourful outfits compared to what was available in the UK. We also lived in a world renowned wool weaving town where you could buy off cuts and roll ends. My DM was a gifted seamstress and did a tailoring course so we always had well fitted clothes and beautiful winter coats. So I suppose we did stand out, although hated it.
Competition was amongst immediate family and friends. I occasionally was stopped by someone interested in what I was wearing only to disappoint them if it was home made. I always felt a little embarrassed by the home made clothing but once I’d reached my 20s I loved having my own bespoke tailor/dressmaker. Unfortunately I lost my DM in my early 30s and although I learned how to sew, I never had her skills.
I now fully appreciate what DM did for us and it has left us with the ability to ignore the trends and dress for ourselves rather than SM.
Interestingly it has rubbed off on DS, he is very uninfluenced and often invents new trends in his friendship group. DH is a clothes hoarder and maintained that he was saving his old 70/80s clothes for DS. I used to laugh that DS would probably want to follow trends but no he has spent the last three years 17-20 working his way through his dad’s vintage collection. He found a pair of straight leg jeans when everyone was wearing skinny jeans. After wearing them out for a couple of nights out his friends were all following suit.
He shops a lot in vintage stores and swops clothing with friends. He hates the whole influencer trend and dresses for comfort and to please himself. He calls himself a black sheep not in the old sense of the term but in that he doesn’t want to follow the flock, and doesn’t worry about being different.