Sell or extend? Wwyd

[Martibum]

I know this decision is for us to decide but would love to hear others opinions.
I live end of terrace in a new build estate, we bought in 2019. Since then, we married, DH has changed careers and I've now gone part time. We have 3 kids, 4 yo and 6month twins. It's a 3 bed house, but on the small side especially with adding in the twins into the mix.
We have approx €180k left on mortgage, for another 30 years. I'm team extending, I couldn't be arsed trying to sell, being in a chain, uprooting the kids and paying a fortune for another house. We would need the equity of this house for our deposit so no option to keep it. I have been looking into modular extensions to make it easier too.
Husband is team move. Neighbours attached to us are a nightmare, the cost of extending is expensive but we'd need to stay put and save for 4 or 5 years to get the deposit for the banks (but we'd still need to sell this house). The thought of that fills me dread but then the next door neighbours also fill us with dread.
We both like the area, it's convenient but the house was badly built, it does need alot of tlc. We're only mid 30s but I'm happy to raise our kids here,do the work that's needed then be in a great position in 15 years to buy "the dream". My husband wants to raise the kids in the dream house.

Move
if your neighbours are a nightmare that would be all the impetus I need

Move now if you are going to

Extending and moving are both horrible , expensive and soul destroying

You quite like the house, but it's a crap build and you dislike the neighbours really doesn't sell it to me

Sell. No point with dream family house if the family all grown up & almost ready to move on.

unless you can do both & extension increases value.

I would be in team move, we were in your situation (minus one child) a few years ago and decided to extend - it was a total nightmare (appreciate loads of people will come on and say how easy they found it but for us no way). The neighbours objected despite having the same extension, it took ages for the appeals etc. getting the plans drawn was a lot more expensive than we anticipated and don’t even get me started on trying to find a decent builder that actually showed up for quotes!

In the end we just said fuck it and moved somewhere significantly bigger but it was during the Covid boom and we made a huge profit on our house, allowing us to then buy something a lot more expensive, appreciate that things are different now.

Would you be able to get a mortgage for the “dream” at the moment? If you can’t, can you make the space work as is for the next 3 years or so? By that time you should hopefully have kids in school/nursery, less outgoings, you can potentially work more hours and afford more house.

so I’m team sell if you can afford the move to the dream, otherwise muddle along for the short term.

My husband will love this, team sell is winning 😂 With neighbours beside us being arsey, the other neighbours are lovely and we have a nice little friend group developing around the kids.
@TwoBlueFish there really isn't without significant money going into the house. Having twins was a lovely surprise but we didn't think we'd need to accommodate another little one. But yes, in a few years I can ramp up the hours and keep our heads down and save. Right now, if we sell it would be difficult to get what we want budget wise, we would need to save for a few years to get ahead. It's just this interim period that's wearing me a bit.
Don't get me wrong, I'd love a house with enough bedrooms for everyone and a playroom but it's also nice that my kids have other kids to play with on the street, parents help out with creche runs etc... I don't know if we'd have that if we move? I guess it depends where we go but it's slim pickings.
Really thankful for the input and hearing others selling. It is the most logical but I just can't seem to stop thinking about staying 🙃 I think I also like the idea of a "project" almost like a trial run? Maybe my postpartum brain has too much time on their hands.

Move, if you have to suffer party wall agreements with awful neighbours I think you'll end up with more hassle than it's worth.

I'd do every bit of saving I can now though.

Arsey neighbours may try to upset your extension plans all the time. I'm team move too.

There's no point in buying a dream family home in 15 years time as your kids will be grown up and close to moving out by then, and realistically the eldest one might have. Why struggle for space and neighbours all that time if you can afford something that meets your needs.

We'd be fine with extending, we would be adding less than 40m2 so don't need permission (I'm in Ireland so planning rules are different)
Agree with the dream home and not "wasting" it for older kids and then having a big empty house.

Sell!
Nightmare neighbours
Planning/builders/materials etc is pretty much a bottomless pit and much bigger disruption and effort that you think!