I don't know what to do

[HelpMeHelpMySon]

I don't know what to do for the best for my 16 year old son. He has an ex girlfriend aged 14 that we have told him to block on everything, they are exchanging sexual images and he is lying to us. He told me he was going out with friends but instead went to her city to meet up with her and is missing college as he is up talking to her at night. She doesn't go to school, is at a PRU on a reduced timetable.

He has a bright future, is at college for A levels but his attendance is down to 89%.

He won't listen, he's very guarded and difficult to talk to. I've tried telling him that she is a child and he could be prosecuted.

He lies to my face now, I feel like I don't know who he is. I don't know how to play this - I've tried accepting her as I didn't want to create a "Romeo and Juliet" vibe and I've tried forbidding him but he's just lying. At 16 do I lay down the law, take his phone off him at night/ switch off the router? Do I let him go down this road and face the inevitable car crash and just pray she doesn't end up pregnant or is there something in the middle?

What would you do if this was your 16 year old autistic son?

Oh gosh. It's a tough one.

I'm a bit unclear. You said ex gf, but are saying they are currently exchanging photos and sneaking around?

Are you 100% sure he understands the legalities of exchanging images and having sex with an underage girl? You could research and show him cases where boys have been prosecuted.

I don't have an autistic child. From what I understand, autistic people can be academically very intelligent, but it can be more of a struggle socially. Is this the case for your son?

If he doesn't have many friends, he may be desperate to hang out with people of a similar age, hence this relationship and lying in order to carry it on, regardless of the consequences.

Trying to forbid the relationship will only mean more lying and sneaking around, if that's what they want to do. Bar taking him to and from college yourself, not letting him go anywhere else, or giving him any money and taking his phone, I don't know how you'd stop them.

Do the girls parents know about their relationship? Maybe you could talk to them, if you can and see what they think about the situation. It may be that they're already aware.

Thanks for reading and replying. Sorry it was unclear, they were boyfriend and girlfriend for a couple of years before meeting up in the summer of last year. She cheated on him and they split up, he found another girlfriend but for whatever reason he's started talking to her again. My son has since split up with his girlfriend as he lied to her (and me) to go to her city and meet this ex girlfriend.

Yes he understands that he can be prosecuted, that he is in a very vulnerable position and it's just plain nasty. At this point he's refusing to take it on board and short of reporting him to the police myself I don't know what to do. The girls mum knows, but her behaviour is so dysregulated and aggressive I don't think mum challenges her at this point.

Yes, his emotional age is closer to hers or even younger and he doesn't and never has had many friends.

The girls mum knows and thinks the relationship is good for her daughter as he helps calm her down and is a stable influence. Unfortunately the reverse is not the same for my son, she's up all night and doesn't go to school so he's tired too. I want him hanging around with people his actual age, he can drive in a few months - she's literally a school girl. I'm so sad for him.

He's breaking the law and could end up in serious trouble. I wonder if the police would be able to get through with him. I would take his phone and replace with one without internet so they can at least stop sending sexual images. I would also stop giving him money if he's paying to take the train to meet her.

Turn off wi-fi at 9pm