I'd be interested to know what other people's experiences are. I have some lovely friends but I have several very close friends who seem to be always complaining or who are unhappy with their lot - but they never seek to improve things. Month in, month out - the same problems and these are now going on years and years.
Initally I tried to help, and I listen a lot - but goodness I'm growing fatigued by hearing about the same problems with no action. This are actually problems that are solveable - unlike some issues I know people face - like ill health/terminal illness.
Example:
Friend K - been with a man for over 10 years, he is feckless, hardly works she bails him out, she constantly complains but never leaves. She has the means to.
Friend S - has hated her job for about 10 years, never seeks to change it, overworks, constantly complains
Friend D - high flying professional - had a difficult time - I had a lot of sympathy. Developed a serious drug habit. Rehab x 2, but afterwards does not stay away from the group that uses socially. Looking for Rehab 3 - but will doubtless rebound back unless they plan to do something different when they leave.
I am extremely fond of all these friends. But they drain me dry with their complaining. They are all educated, and earn well (except Friend D at the moment). I appreciated friendship is about hearing about each other's problems - but these are the same problems since 2017 or so. And yes, maybe I do feel that they talk at me, and don;t ask me much in return.
two of the friends I have offered actual physical support and a place to stay. I just find it so frustrating ..
Am I being unfair? I want the best for them, but they just seem stuck in victim mode.