Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

DS and sports tournament - why is being a mum such agony?

12 replies

RosieDelagio · 29/01/2025 00:57

Recently went away to a four day sports tournament with DS who is 10. Went last year as well. I don't want to say what it is but we are in the summer here in Oz if that gives a clue. It's a team sport but individual performces are key.

He did really well last year's tournament (and has done this year for his club) but this year struggled and once his mojo went I could see he was upset, tears (secretly just to me - we went for a walk) on day two and he never really recovered. Made more difficult by his team mates from his club doing really well this year.

I guess I am just posting for solidarity and maybe advice from those with older DCs? I find it so hard to know how to support him through tough times with his sports. He won't open up to me about it. He loves it and wants to do it but it is quite brutal at times. How can I support him well - I don't want to be overbearing but also feel like I am doing nothing well.

OP posts:
TheSandgroper · 29/01/2025 02:03

Has he gone through a growth spurt lately? I’ve often heard the footy commentators saying “he doesn’t know where his hands are these days” as a young bloke grows suddenly.

Or, are other kids getting their testosterone surge and yours is needing to wait a bit longer?

It might be just that he is out of sync with his mates right now.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 29/01/2025 02:17

He did really well last year's tournament (and has done this year for his club) but this year struggled and once his mojo went I could see he was upset, tears (secretly just to me - we went for a walk) on day two and he never really recovered. Made more difficult by his team mates from his club doing really well this year.

OP, barring other issues, if your son is dedicated to his sport I'd book a few sessions with a sport psychologist. I would do this so he could learn coping skills and whether or not he truly wants to be in a competitive sport right now.

Original poster
RosieDelagio · 29/01/2025 04:28

TheSandgroper · 29/01/2025 02:03

Has he gone through a growth spurt lately? I’ve often heard the footy commentators saying “he doesn’t know where his hands are these days” as a young bloke grows suddenly.

Or, are other kids getting their testosterone surge and yours is needing to wait a bit longer?

It might be just that he is out of sync with his mates right now.

I do think that’s it. He’s very young for his year.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General sports
Mopsandcustard · 29/01/2025 04:50

Yes to the growth spurt theory. My dc could barely get through doorways at that stage.

deadlegs76 · 29/01/2025 22:40

I'd agree that at 10, he is probably still developing and that might be at different times to his peers, so it's often a tricky time when they compare themselves to others. My son has played cricket at regional level since he was 9 and we've definitely been through ups and downs in performance. The main thing we try to do is keep an open dialogue with him where he feels safe to talk to us about his worries, and celebrate the good times, without trying to put to much pressure on him (they do that enough themselves!).
10 is still young, but there are definitely things you can look at online about mental skills for sport which is pitched for that sort of age and helps to focus on things like resilience.
I hope that by just being there to talk through any frustrations he has, you'll build a good support mechanism for him. Once hes enjoying himself again, he'll hopefully relax and the successes will follow.

Original poster
RosieDelagio · 30/01/2025 06:26

deadlegs76 · 29/01/2025 22:40

I'd agree that at 10, he is probably still developing and that might be at different times to his peers, so it's often a tricky time when they compare themselves to others. My son has played cricket at regional level since he was 9 and we've definitely been through ups and downs in performance. The main thing we try to do is keep an open dialogue with him where he feels safe to talk to us about his worries, and celebrate the good times, without trying to put to much pressure on him (they do that enough themselves!).
10 is still young, but there are definitely things you can look at online about mental skills for sport which is pitched for that sort of age and helps to focus on things like resilience.
I hope that by just being there to talk through any frustrations he has, you'll build a good support mechanism for him. Once hes enjoying himself again, he'll hopefully relax and the successes will follow.

Thanks that’s so helpful!

OP posts:
TangerineClementine · 30/01/2025 06:36

My DC are sporty and we've been through some of this. One season my DS was the star batter for his cricket team and the next season he just... wasn't. My DD got selected for the development pathway for a super league netball club, and the next year she dropped down a level. It's a hugely valuable aspect of sport IMO (in terms of learning resilience) but it's difficult when you're going through it! It's good that he's talking about it and having a little cry. Just make sure he knows that you are proud of him and support him.

Original poster
RosieDelagio · 30/01/2025 08:49

Thank you, interesting you both mentioned cricket!!

OP posts:
TheSandgroper · 30/01/2025 09:10

I was thinking surf lifesaving, myself.

TangerineClementine · 30/01/2025 11:40

I think cricket is particularly brutal because you can get out for a duck. Most other sports, if you make a mistake you continue to play and can make up for it if you play well.

HerbieFluffyDumpling · 30/01/2025 12:06

Both DC play cricket and we've been through this too. As others have also mentioned, this has been around the time when they've had growth spurts. DS1 is an opening bowler and he's really struggled with his run up during and after a growth spurt. It seemed to affect his whole bowling action. It really affected him and he lost all his confidence. He had to put a lot more effort in and had a few 1-2-1 coaching sessions to sort it out. He probably would have been ok without the extra coaching sessions, but they helped get his confidence back.

It is so difficult when their friends are doing well and they feel under pressure. Hopefully he can talk to you about it and he'll start to relax.

Original poster
RosieDelagio · 30/01/2025 18:05

I’m so glad I posted here! Yes cricket - it’s incredibly brutal. It really helps to hear experiences from others

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page