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Can a Type A become a Type B or is this mental health related?

6 replies

JimHalpertsWife · 28/01/2025 17:46

I'm 40, two kids between 9 and 12, work ft. I've always always been an overthinker, planner, worrier. I'd often do the organising for friendship groups (usually expected of me rather than volunteering), always used to focus hard on planning trips with dh (and later the kids when they came along).

I'd fret and fuss over what could happen, instead of just waiting and seeing or forgetting about stuff. Telling myself not to cross that bridge when I come to it was just not something I could do. I'd even worry that if I didnt worry about something enough, then it would happen to me, and it's my fault as I didn't worry enough about it.

Since covid came along, and life got very slow very quickly, started wfh ft, realised we couldn't even do stuff if we wanted to, and actually the slower pace of life was nice for our wellbeing and our bank account. I enjoyed having less on my plate overall, and it's almost become an unconscious step to try and keep that "plate" clear.

I now feel like my mind cannot fret about anything - even when I try and make it. So planning family holidays as an example, in the past I'd relish (and stress) about the search. Now, I try a bit, can't find anything and lose any interest whatsoever in looking. So they don't happen or we just book something local ish about a week before.

Even planning a single overnight stay with dh I just couldn't muster up the effort of the search.

Stuff that around the house I'd fret (eg shit that porch might actually fall in) and keep me awake at night, now I might give it a cursory thought once in a few months but it doesn't stay in my mind as an issue.

At first I thought maybe I just mellowing out. Type A becomes Type B.

Now though, as I sit and ponder this (something came up I'd normally jump at, but I'm actively avoiding engaging as I cba to work at it), I wonder if it's some sort of mental block- like my brain is actually so frazzled from my usual responses to stuff, that it has gone into self preservation mode and simply will not entertain anything that is effort over and above family, work and very very close friends.

I'm generally happy, have a wonderful little family, enjoy resting after work, we don't have money worries, so it's not like we couldn't afford to (say) replace the Porch or fix it when it eventually comes down.

Anyone got any insight on the above?

OP posts:
Rawnotblended · 29/01/2025 01:49

Menopause. My type A abilities fell out somewhere.

halfpastten · 29/01/2025 02:20

Many of us slowed down during Covid and have found it difficult to rev up again. I know I have. At first it was lovely, now I just feel turgid.
The fact that it is bothering you means you're ready to change again. Anyway, that's what I'm telling myself!

podthedog · 29/01/2025 04:11

The 40s. I personally like it, it's a nice place to be, but requires discipline. Whereas before I'd rely on motivation, novelty, now needs discipline. Also, been realigning priorities. Focusing on things I genuinely care about, doing things that align with my values. An example of that is buying less and when I do buy, looking for second hand- your values may look different.

JimHalpertsWife · 29/01/2025 09:11

I do enjoy being less highly strung Grin I suppose its just such change in my personality that I didn't want to overlook the possibility that it was an indicator of something else. Like am I more chill or am I actually numb to stuff? It blows my mind that I could actually just be this passive.

Possibly menopause related - I've had other signs that I am on that track now (sadly the periods still arrive).

I do miss the buzz of "I've found this trip, I've planned these days out, I've pre booked x y z" but then equally am really enjoying just throwing a friend some money and saying "happy to go anywhere, tell me what time to meet you at the aiport" Grin which is a whole new feeling.

OP posts:
podthedog · 29/01/2025 13:56

JimHalpertsWife · 29/01/2025 09:11

I do enjoy being less highly strung Grin I suppose its just such change in my personality that I didn't want to overlook the possibility that it was an indicator of something else. Like am I more chill or am I actually numb to stuff? It blows my mind that I could actually just be this passive.

Possibly menopause related - I've had other signs that I am on that track now (sadly the periods still arrive).

I do miss the buzz of "I've found this trip, I've planned these days out, I've pre booked x y z" but then equally am really enjoying just throwing a friend some money and saying "happy to go anywhere, tell me what time to meet you at the aiport" Grin which is a whole new feeling.

Only you know the answer to that. Are you numbing yourself out by scrolling social media, eating crap or whatever it looks like. If not then you're good and it's a phase of life to enjoy where you give less fucks!

podthedog · 29/01/2025 13:58

Those are two quite extremes haha - planning everything to the nth degree and not planning at all. It sounds fun and healthy to do the latter a bit.

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