Spending money on family

[Mooosewoman]

I’d be very interested to hear your thoughts on how to split present money for family. I have three grownup children, two have children one doesn’t.

I’m tending towards per family rather than per individual, if you see what I mean.

What does anyone else do?

Sounds like you'll be punishing your grandchildren for having siblings. I would be doing it per individual. Would anyone object to that?

No one will object to anything, I’m already generous.

I just want to be fair.

This.

I think it needs to be in the ball park fair eg you might spend £250 on the families with children and £150-£200 for the one without children.

The main thing is that everyone should get a present that they will appreciate (not necessarily the most expensive).

I have 2 (now young adult) children and 1 sibling with no children.

My parents didn't change the value of presents that that gave me when I had children.
They gave the children appropriate presents for their age.

I have no idea what value of presents they give to my sibling.

I think you have to treat each individual separately. If you have an overall budget and therefor have to reduce the amount per individual, then so be it.

We do per person. Children don't choose how many siblings they have and my nieces/nephews are all equally important to me.

We don't buy for the adults in the wider family bar the two that don't have children. They buy for all the kids (which is a lot!) so it's only fair they get something imo.

I think it depends what it is.

Say a £3k windfall, split between your 3 children equally. Big household costs often have a large fixed element - a house, a new bathroom, a car, a holiday. Grandchildren won't be deprived of anything.

If it's a more "routine" Christmas gift, split per person, spending equally on each grandchild and equally on each adult. Actually for the adults I'd be inclined to spend a bit more on the single adult as the others will tend to have more gifts from elsewhere/each other. I think it's important grandchildren get individual gifts to open and are treated equally and as individuals for that, even if it's cash in a card.

It is difficult to be fair. Our grandson’s partner will be 30 this week (1) our Grandson will be 32 next week(2) son’s partner’s birthday in two weeks.
(3).
I am thinking of £25 to 1 as we don’t see much of her, £50 to 2 as he is a blood relation and £50 to 3. No relation but she has transformed DS2 and we love her!
When it comes to inheritance, I was told very firmly on MN that we should leave equal amounts to our two DSs regardless of three or one grandchildren as their family planning was not our responsibility.

I agree with PPs that it depends on the gift. Regular presents so Christmas and birthdays you should give each child the same amount, if you gift to partners then they should also get the same amount. Each grandchild also gets the same amount. One off gifts of capital, or regular annual gifts intended to qualify for the IHT exemption should be per family so each of your children gets the same regardless of children. This makes it fair (especially if one child has no children for medical reasons.....)

Both sides give the same amount to grandchildren regardless of how many siblings they have, for Christmas/birthdays etc

The only time I've seen money to be gifted per family rather than per person was when my parents gave me and my brother an amount to be used for a holiday or special treat. On this occasion they just gave the same amount to each of us

The grandchildren are people in their own right. I’d treat them as such.