If you are a lone parent with no family support

[An0n1]

What do you do for work to manage if your child is sick etc? What type of job do you have?

I have recently moved and ds2 no longer sees his dad. He's in nursery but I work two evenings a week and my parents were doing childcare for me and it's no longer working.

My issue is that I've no idea what else I can do? I could find a 9-5 mon-fri job but they are hard to find in my field and I'm on a good wage for my sector. And if I did move, to stay on my wage or better would mean more responsibility so I'd be worried about how I'd manage if ds was sick etc? As his sole carer I've no other parent to rely on and obviously cannot risk my job due to absence?

What do others do? The idea of leaving him with a stranger doesn't sit well with me.

A regular babysitter will not be a "stranger" after the first occasion.

Pre pandemic we used to use the "Sitters" agency.

If you have no free childcare then paying for it is a cost of going to work.

I worked in the day and I was always concerned about covering my DS being sick. I worked full time so I had a good leave amount and I held back 5 days just in case. The key for me was a really understanding line manager and my DS wasn't sick very often.

The hardest part for me was covering the school holidays. I did a mixture of holiday clubs, my leave and his friends' parents and I used to cover each other.

I wanted a job that included nights but then I couldn't find any cover. There may be more options now?

I work for a University in HR, the salary is good and I work part time, I WFH 3 days a week and work during school hours. My youngest has ASD&ADHD, I did work FT previously but my DS was then excluded from wrap around care due to his needs, so I went to work looking for a more suitable role and found my current job. I am working less, earning more, at home more. So I am grateful for a situation which at the time felt so overwhelming.

You could use this situation to push you forward, you absolutely will.be able to find a job that suits your needs, or take it as an opportunity to retrain? Fresh start and all that.

Being a lone parent is tough, as you know! But I pushed myself to make sure I could get us into a better position; I did an access to university course, then a Bsc, then Masters, learned to drive, bought a house. University was actually great when I had very little sons as its flexible.

I’m not a lone parent but my children’s dad works a job that is hard for him to not work so I always deal with the children when ill . I am lucky to be hybrid and my boss is fine with me working at home while looking after them if they are ill.

I think finding the right company to work for is important (easier said than done! But ones that talk about work/life balance a lot, and flexible working are normally fairly good).

You're entitled to emergency leave to cover childcare, however this often is unpaid ~ when I worked for a less flexible employer, I used to keep a few hundred pounds in a specific savings pot to top up my wage if/when this ever happened so it wasn't another added stress.

In every role I've had (and I've managed a fair number of people) there are emergencies/sicknesses where parents call in to say for childcare reasons they won't be in. Personally I've tried to be 'extra' flexible with the ones I know are lone parents and have no other backup, so be transparent about that with your manager.

Annual leave. Unpaid emergency leave.
I was lucky that I could work part time and sometimes swap my days to when the dc's were better. I've stayed in a low paid family friendly admin job for the last decade as they are very supportive.

It's really tough but remember you aren't alone. I have two young children,one with severe sen and I'm a lone parent with no support what so ever. I'm trying to figure out what I can do work wise like you. I asked loads of people for ideas something that could be flexible and meet all my needs. Iv come up with training to be a driving instructor if that's something you think you could do. It's not my first pick when I was given the idea but I suppose it would be flexible and bring in the money.

Thank you all so much, lots of good food for thought here. My current employer is super flexible and it's been a godsend in the last couple of weeks when ds has been sick and had appointments as I just arranged my own diary around it and my manager doesn't care as long as I've worked my hours across the week. It's just the two evenings that I'm struggling with really otherwise it would be a really good fit for me.

When I was little (in the 1980s) there were 5 Mums on our street who used to sort of coop the childcare chores. They all had children a similar age and lived nearby. All us children would usually be collected by one mum, on a rotating basis. Similarly noone paid for babysitting. We'd just be sent to each others houses. Eg if my mum wanted to do the shopping sans-children, we'd be sent to play at so-and-sos house for a couple of hours, and vice versa.

It takes a village...

couldn’t work till they were in nursery and was on income support. After that managed to get a job which allowed me to work from home and paid enough for me to afford wrap around care. Understanding boss too who was ok if I had to pop out to pick up a sick kid because he knew I would work late/always meet deliverables. I am aware that my job is very niche and if I lost it I’d be screwed. It’s not easy for us ☹️