School attendance advice

[bunnypillow]

Hi everyone. I am not English so please forgive any mistakes and I need serious advice on this subject.

So my son is 5yr old turning to 6 very soon and as common with his age keeps falling ill quite a lot. Last time in October he has to be off school for 5 days continuously because he had a severe cheat infection and was on double dose of antibiotics. He is also prone to constant cough so my GP has been looking into testing him for asthma but as he is too young he could not perform the test of blowing into the tube but my GP however gave him inhalers. So long story short whenever he starts having a cold we know it is going to lead to cough and being poorly for an entire week so we tend to put him at home to give him proper rest. At the most we try and send him to school within 2 days. But our school comes home if it is more than 3 days and insists I should send the poorly child with them as he is missing on his classes. They threatened me that I am the one telling lies about his illness and putting him at home and I will be fined by the council. The child was distressed as he had been poorly the last night but they asked me to drop him school and get his medicines in a pack and they will give it to him on time. What do I do? They keep coming home every time he misses school. Also I am not the only one my neighbour also told me they asked her to send her son who was recovering from from flu as it had been more than 2 days.

Is this normal behaviour for schools here? As this is my first time experience. Please advice as to what should I do?

Yes it's normal.

I don't send a child with fever. School would tbh think it was fine to show with a fever on Calpol.

It took very short time to forget about Covid and staying home then sick.

It is normal to maximise attendance to prevent disruption of your child's education and the class overall who may need to repeat content to catch him up. Sickness absence should be limited to genuine sickness, you appear to be keeping your son at home to prevent him getting sick on some occasions which is questionable. Especially as he doesn't have a formal diagnosis of a medical condition at this point. Have you provided the school with an inhaler and instructions for use if he needs it?

Generally there is a school sickness policy that aligns to the Department for Education guidelines.

What is your child's attendance percentage?

Official guidance available to schools and parents can be found here:

https://www.gov.uk/school-attendance-absence

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/626669cb8fa8f523b7221b98/UKHSA-should-I-keep-mychilddoffschoollguidance-A3-poster.pdf

www.nhs.uk/live-well/is-my-child-too-ill-for-school/

https://www.gov.uk/illness-child-education

If you keep your child at home every time he shows the first sign of a cold (which is what you've said you are doing) potentially he's going to miss absolutely masses of school at this time of year.

Most parents would not do this and school will (and should, imo) be following this up.

Most parents will keep a child off if they have a high temperature.

Totally normal. Actually there seems to be an attendance drive at the moment where they're encouraged to go to school if they feel a bit off because they might start feeling better throughout the day. And if not, will be sent home by the school.

Acceptable reasons to be off includes sickness and diarrhea, fever, potentially serious contagious illnesses like chicken pox and measles.

I'm aftaid you'll have to send him. Put all his medications in a bag and fill in the form that allows school to administer if/when he needs them.

It does sound like your child misses a lot of school, and that will damage his education unless he is very bright and able to keep up anyway. You can’t keep him home every time you think he might be starting a cold. Children need to go to school with colds or they’re never there.

@Neolara I understand that but is it okay for the school to threaten me saying they will wait there and I should get him ready to go to school.

I know how my child ends up with a cold. The next thing he gets is non stop cough and swollen tonsils so I tend to put him at home to stop this loop or then he ends up missing a week of school and other classes he goes to in the evening.

You shouldn't be keeping him off at the first sign of a cold just in case it gets worse. He does need his education! If he's poorly keep him off but not as a precaution. I'm guessing you don't work outside the home? My dc's school told me it was very obvious which kids had stay at home mums because they had worse attendance ... thought that itself was an interesting fact.

Yes it's normal for here.

It's completely batshit.

There's been a complete overreaction after Covid and schools are now chasing attendance targets.

Look at your child. Take the best decisions for your child. If you can see he is too ill for school don't send him.

Equally, schools can give medications. If he is well enough and it's "just" that he needs meds then you can send him in.

Keep on top of how he is doing academically. If he's doing ok academically they are much less likely to give you hassle.

@SometimesCalmPerson They did say he is in the top of class as he is a very bright student but absences might prompt them to put him with kids in the average group. But what I say is they keep breaking my sentences in between and threaten me saying I am feigning his illness. This is so unacceptable because I know what is good for my child and don't want him ending up on antibiotics every other week.

@Octavia64 Thanks for replying. They did say he is one of the brightest in class and don't want him ending up in the average group.

I try my best to send him as he is a very energetic boy and cannot be controlled at home lol.

But as a mother I know when he needs to be at home. But the school threatening me felt so weird.

If you can’t control him at home because he’s too energetic, he’s clearly well enough to be in school!

@shockeditellyou I meant to say if he is well enough I always send him to school as he is a very energetic boy and I cannot control him at home.

Yes you can always spot the children who have parents who are nurses or doctors they are always in school.
OP, I get you are doing the best for your little boy but there is a balance between protective and damagingly over protective. At your child's age they do get sick a lot. It is so important to teach him resilience and how to carry on regardless. If he does have asthma he will have to learn to manage it so he can still do all the things he wants to.
I got sick a lot when I was in secondary school my mum didn't work so it was easy to let me stay off school. The only reason I didn't fall hopelessly behind was because we didn't have much TV or Internet in those days so I read hundreds of books. Also my head of year was a very experienced and forceful character who just sort of insisted my mum send me in. He could see I was mostly just malingering because it was easy for me.
Your son will stop getting sick but you need to help him by praising him for being resilient and focus him on good stuff that comes with school. Like that lovely feeling when it's finished for the day! Also please make him read when he is at home. No reason why he can't and every reason why he should.
And my late father would have said get him outdoors as much as you can, fewer germs outside.

@Notgoodatpoetrybutgreatatlit Thanks for the great advice

He loves reading books. One of the reasons they say he is a bright kids as he enjoys maths with his dad.

I loathe the culture here of going in sick to school, to work, make everyone sick, it doesn’t matter. But it’s the culture here so you won’t be allowed to carry on as you have been. There are very few health related reasons that are deemed acceptable for missing school.

But he isn't sick?
You will be in trouble keeping a healthy child at home even you think he will be sick next week.