Feelings About Being or Becoming a Grandma?

[RabbitsRock]

DD16 is adamant she doesn’t want children (of course she’s very young & could change her mind) but it made me think. I would love to be a Grandma & was lucky enough to be very close to my Grandparents, particularly my maternal ones. Guess the next best thing would be becoming a Great Auntie if my niece & nephews have children.

I'm very relieved I'm not one, as that would have meant DD had a teenage pregnancy, although that was not really on the cards as she's a lesbian. I am ambivalent about being a GM. Her choice - not a straightforward one - but if there are GC, I will not be the childcare type, I didn't want to stay home with my own, I'm not doing it with someone else's.

I’m sure I’ll love it IF it happens.

But whether our two have kids or not (I mean it’s at least 15 years away I hope, we’ve suggested they enjoy their 20s child free first) is not our choice it’s up to them and partners.

I didn’t want children and then I met DH at 29. I do sometimes think it was just because it was him. DS would like children, he is only 23 and split with his GF a couple of months ago. I really loved that girl and they had planned a full life inc children together but she changed a lot and then did the dirty on him after 6 years together. I will be pleased but it’s his life, DD sadly died a few years ago, she hasn’t ever said much but was a very quiet girl overall.

My DM pressured me to have a DC cause she wanted to be a GM so badly. She loved my DC very much and was a big help when she was younger. However I wish she hadn’t pressured me like that as I felt I had a child before I was ready to.

My DD is unsure if she will have kids and honestly I hope she doesn’t. I don’t have the desire or will to be a grandparent. I see how all my friends are with their GCs and it’s not something I want to do…ever.

I would love to be a Grandma but it has only come up in conversation with DS1 once. I (and my brother) had huge pressure from my DP's to provide GC's, in my case it rankled as I had lots of losses and infertility. DB just didn't want DC, but eventually had one when he was 47.

My DP's were involved somewhat with DS1 as they were 39 when he was born, not on a daily basis as we live away from them. Barely involved with DS2

So yes would love to be a Grandma but very aware of not putting any pressure on DS's at all. DS1 is 38 and on his own, DS2 is 19 and still at college

I'm unbothered about it tbh. If it happens, it happens. That said being a grandparent is likely to mean my adult DC leaning on me further for emotional support. I'm not sure I want that, it's tough enough as it is sometimes. They are making their way in the world as best they can, we are all autistic too so the chances are any offspring would also be.

I think it's a tremendously helpful thing for a 16 year old to decide as it probably means they will be careful to avoid getting pregnant, presumably want to get a career. By the time they are 25-30 they will almost certainly have changed their mind with perfect timing

I have four adult kids. Two are unlikely to have children (autistic, not independent, and the other gay and just divorced) one, sadly has fertility problems, and the other was adamanant at 16 that she was never having children.
No 2 grandchild is due in 2 weeks She's a career woman but the hormones kicked in. You never know what's in the future. I'm very lucky that she lives close by and I have my dgs a few days a week. My heart breaks for ds1 who dearly wants kids and it's not happened... you just can't predict!

My son is adamant he won't have kids and I have no problem with never being a grandparent. If he does, I won't be a day to days hands on grandparent though. My mum was with my son but that was her choice and desire.