Have you ever heard of this condition?

[brassandswitch]

I have a condition where I pull my hair out. Only under my hair and very briefly on top of my head. No one knew about it. Happened after a very bad relationship when I was 16 and out of nowhere. I didn't even realise I was doing it until I was at my part time job during college and had my hair in a ponytail to realise I had a bald spot. It's called trichotillomania. It's a form of OCD and a coping mechanism for dealing with stress. I suffered for years with no hair under my head and no one knew about it. My parents did, but mocked me for it and told me to just 'stop doing it'. I would lie when I went to the hairdressers and say I had alopecia. I didn't wear my hair up for 11 years and during Covid, with my now partner, I somehow managed to stop. It grew then I pulled it out again and was devastated. The doctors couldn't help me as it was only a recent development of being a form of OCD.
I eventually told my current partner one night and he's never judged me. I'm currently a year free from doing it and my hair has grown back, which I was told it wouldn't after the damage. I just assumed I'd do it for the rest of my life, but I struggle with wanting to do it every single day. I stopped out of my own sheer will power.

Have you ever heard of it? It's hardly spoken about and I don't know anyone in my walking life who has this condition. I would love there to be someone, anyone on Mumsnet who has experienced this.

Yes, I was aware of it. I don't think it is that unusual. I hope you can find other people who have been through it so you feel less alone

Yes, I know about it and have known a couple of friends with children who suffer from it - it’s now much more widely recognised by medics and there is treatment that is quite effective - combination of CBT, distraction, mindfulness and fidget techniques, very similar to ADHD or OCD treatment. If you can access CBT for it it is apparently very effective and helpful. You’re definitely not alone!

Just remembered that a rather brilliant acquaintance I knew at university also suffered from it. You knew he was struggling with writing a symphony when he appeared with no eyebrows!

Yes I did know about it

I have this condition myself, I don't pull my hair out but I do pull out my eyebrows and eyelashes. Started when I was being bullied at 16 and pulled all my eyelashes I am now in my 40's.

I still do it occasionally when stressed and leave gaps in my eyebrows and eyelashes, like yourself I don't realise I'm doing it at times but other times I know I'm doing it and kind of like the feeling, guess when I'm stressed I find it comforting.

It is a very common condition and you are not alone. I don't know what to suggest, maybe therapy, try to stop to the thoughts, try to keep your hands busy, take up a hobby and well done on stopping and I know that feeling when you just can't help it.

Yes. A friend did this during school and university exam times. It calmed down when the stressful times were over and reappeared a decade later when she had tiny children. It's very common.

Both my sister and I had it as teenagers. We both suffer with OCD (both relatively under control atm.
She used to wear bandanas all the time to hide it. I however didn't care and would always be asked why I had tufts of hair on the top of my head.

I honestly don't know when or why I stopped. I was on a lot of medication so my memory of that time isn't the best.

I'm sorry your parents weren't supportive. Mental illness is something that still has a lot of taboo around it and when people are uncomfortable or uneducated around it, they often say the most unhelpful things.

I have it. It started at the peak of my parents very acrimonious divorce when I was eleven. I’m 46 now and still pulling. It’s a bugger to treat. CBT and anti-depressants haven’t worked for me. Hypnotherapy is good though the effects only last about six weeks so you have to keep on going.

Yeah I've heard of it. It's kind of like biting nails in a way. I bite and pick my lip and the inside of my mouth. Which is quite gross but it's just a bad habit I never grew out of. I do it only when tired or stressed now. Lots of people have these types of behaviours, many grow out of it in adulthood but some don't. It doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with someone.

I don’t suffer with it but I am aware of it. A girl I knew at school started pulling her eyelashes out when she was about 16. I think it started because she was feeling stressed and anxious and then became her way of coping with those feelings.

Yeah, I was going to say it's a bit like nail biting or picking skin (both of which I do) which can also be comforting but also have uncomfortable and unsightly results. Difficult to overcome but not impossible. I haven't stopped completely but my nails look ok and I've got to the point when I am conscious of it and stop myself.

Yes I pull my eyebrows and public hair out. It's cathartic though I regret it when I get bold patches /ingrowns!

No ocd or trauma trigger for me

Its common, as is dermatillomania (skin picking). I've been pulling my hairs since I was very small. It got bad at secondary and I got a bald patch on my head which has never properly grown back. I pull my eyelashes and eyebrows too, as well as other hands on my body. It's annoying but it is what it is. I know so many people with the same or similar compulsions.

I do skin picking, which is similarly awful. 😞

I twist my hair in to knots and untwist. Sometimes it gets so knotty it has to be cut out.

I also bite my baits and the skin on my fingers.

I'm autistic.

Yes I do that. And the skin version too.

I was a lot worse in the past when I was with an emotionally and financially abusive partner. Thankfully he's now an ex but I had many bald patches on my head at one point. I then got so embarrassed I switched to my eyebrows as they were easier to draw back on (and then eventually pubic hair because no one else was seeing that and it saved me money on waxing which my ex liked ).

I still go through occasional periods of it although the skin picking is worse now than the hair, but my DH is really supportive and helpful which makes all the difference compared to my life before.

When I was younger, I used to sit on the top of my stairs and pull my hair out. I would pull my eyelashes out.
I used to do it so nobody could see.
Had a big bald patch. Nobody really noticed. I'm sad people are still feeling the same as I was

Just so you know, there's lots of people here to talk to

its called Trichotillomania I had this in childhood but stopped in my teens

@brassandswitch Yup!! Trichotillomania. I've struggled with this and dermatillomania (skin picking) my whole life. They sell things online to help fulfill that nervous energy, ie things you can pick at (instead of yourself!) that give a similar tactile sensation. For me, I don't let myself get too close to the mirror, and I don't let myself pop zits, fiercely reminding myself they go away in a day anyways. I understand how hard it is to ignore though and how you can just find yourself doing it without even realizing though 😔

Here's a link, hope it helps!!
https://www.therapyshoppe.com/parents-place/197-32-fidget-toys-for-compulsive-hair-pullers-trichotillomania?srsltid=AfmBOoouXOsHCkgUZU_uB8gs4qsqUaeicW-QSycDeb6CWqMxbLY7-foW

it's very common, and can vary to huge degrees. I used to be terrible for pulling eyebrow hairs. often in my teens would have a gap in the middle of the eyebrow. a lot of people gradually lose the habit except for when highly stressed.
with it being so common, I'm sure there's loads of help out there. you could try looking for facebook support groups.