Making friends after a move, any advice?

[Rubydots]

i get anxious about making friends with anyone. I wish I wasn’t I genuinely don’t know how to be less so. I feel like I need to make friends though, having moved areas entirely in September.

Awkward examples for me include, dd is at a new school, I saw a mum I know has a dd that my dd likes, last week she was acting like she wanted to make friends but today she was talking to another mum so I waved said hi then walked on. Should I have done anything else?!

last week I gave a mum my number on her phone and she acted happy that I was doing so but I never heard back from her and she didn’t send her number on like she said she would . Do I say anything when I nextI see her or accept it’s not going to happen?!

I haven’t had to make new friends for a very long time and didn’t realise how bad I am at making them. I see others make new friends much more quickly than me and wonder where I’m going wrong.

Like dating, it is a bit of a number game. I think when totally new to a place you have to make quite a bit of effort in quite a few avenues to see what sticks. I also think it is OK to mention the newness and that you are trying to build your circle. I'd pay more attention to someone who mentions that they are new to the area.

Some advice a newer friend said she uses and has now work for me is to have something that you do on a regular basis, and then start inviting other people to join you. My friend walks along the canal to a great pub each Thursday. If she meets someone she would like as a friend, she says 'Oh I like to walk along the canal on Thursday evenings, fancy joining me?' Obviously this has to be done in an appropriate way. Not just to any old human you meet on the bus!

I started a very rash low key sport on Mondays. Now if I'm chatting to people, I get to tell them about my week and say 'oh have you ever tried X, I've started and love it, fancy trying it next week?'

Thanks @Hillrunning I will start saying I’m new to the area. Doesn’t help that I’m quite a shy person naturally. I will have to try harder to engage with people. Feeling out of my depth!

Numbers game is an excellent way to think of it.

I moved countries and I just started inviting anyone who seemed interesting to coffee or an exercise class and then coffee ... Had to develop a thick skin to rejection/lack of follow ups but now I have loads of friends and no time for any more.

It took a couple of years and lots of persistence but now I'm really happy.

The PP above has excellent advice on having a 'thing' to invite people to

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