To no longer trust the police

[scaredkitten]

Please bear with me - this may be a long one.

I would like to gain some perspective on a very difficult situation. Hear other people's thoughts and own experiences of the police and whether I am justified in not trusting them.

Long story short. Reported a violent crime end of 2023.. Police arrested my attacker, interviewed and bailed him. Went through all the procedures after report- interview, forensics etc..all very difficult.

Times passes by and case gets passed to CPS. They need to ask me some more questions..Que the slut-shaming/victim-blaming/information twisting. I'm in tears throughout. No support offered (tactical I believe). Police tell me before second interview "You're going to hate us after this". Scared and anxious - no female present. After interview, left feeling completely distraught and suicidal. Police apologise but damage done..

I wait 9 long weeks for CPS decision. Police constantly telling me right up until last minute "we haven't heard anything", but keep promising me that as soon as they do, I'll be the first to know. I finally tell them I can't continue..Mental health in tatters. They suddenly reveal they have launched an appeal against a NFA decision without even consulting me. I have no choice now but to continue because it's gone ahead and I would lose out on a psychological damage claim against my attacker (now diagnosed with PTSD).

Appeal launches in Oct, hoping decision made this month. Same story : Police tell me that they hope a decision will be made, then at last minute tell me that because there is another case against my attacker and the cps can't make a decision until they have looked at both cases. Police made out cps has both cases and another police force is dealing with it. Met with officer last week and turns out that the cps doesn't even have the case files and they can't even find my attacker. Que more waiting (probably until the summer). After telling me how invested they are, and pleading with me to continue, now they say it is my decision and I can withdraw at any point, leaving me without any real closure or financial compensation (I have spent hundreds on counselling and loss of earnings). I feel blindsided, lied to and when I challenge them they just get annoyed.

I feel so stupid and naiive to have shared so much petsonal information with them. I am wrong not to trust them again after this?

Bump

I'm sorry you've had to go through all this and I'm not surprised that you're very upset. My only two penn'orth would be that it sounds as though it's the 'process' that's letting you down and not 'the police' as such. My child is a dedicated, hard-working DC in the Met and sometimes they meet so many obstacles to collaborating with other forces or pushing a case along to a conclusion that they've been close to snapping. Do you have a specific person who deals with your case that you can contact? I hope it is resolved soon for you.

I’m so sorry OP, this sounds really tough.

I would agree with previous poster though that this is not a failure of the police, the issues you’re having are with the process, and with the CPS which is independent, not police.

It sounds like the police did everything they should have done and then passed it to the CPS, which they have to do because it is the CPS who make the decision on charging, and it is here in the process where things have started to get delayed and muddled.

I think it sounds like the police have really fought your corner here as much as they could have, I hope you get an outcome that gives you the closure you deserve x

I agree with the others, it sounds like it went weird after CPS started making the decisions. Can you contact your local Police Commissioner to look into the handling of your case?

Thank-you both.. you are right that they have fought my corner but I can't help but feel angry at them for keeping vital information back, i.e. - the original decision of a NFA was made. That was the moment they should have picked up the phone and told me. I may not have wanted to continue with the process at that point but they gave me no other option as they launched an appeal without my knowledge. The officer has said time over, they are heavily invested in my case. In one way this is a positive (I have told them how appreciative I am). On the other hand, I think they went over their heads and ran away with things. They have also said my case is a the forefront of CID. I feel nervous about living in a smallish town and people knowing who I am and what has happened. I bitterly regret reporting and wish I could turn back the clock. I want all my data erased and to be forgotten but that's not possible.

The process and CPS in particular have ruined my mental health. I wonder if I could claim damages against what they have put me through? How do they expect women to report such crimes if this is how we are going to be treated?!

I am really sorry you are struggling OP but I do actually think your case should encourage other women to proceed with reporting these things rather than shying away from it. The police did everything they could to help you, including appealing an NFA decision because they so strongly wanted to fight your corner- that should be a great incentive to women to report these crimes, to know they will be believed, taken seriously, to feel the police are on side, is a great thing and it shouldn’t put anybody off.

The CPS decisions are tricky, lots of spinning plates in decision making, and it has to be that way to protect all parties. It’s a difficult situation OP and I know you are having a tough time but I don’t see what any of these parties could have done differently, the police sound like they have been totally on the ball and the CPS have to follow procedure, the wheels of justice do turn incredibly slowly unfortunately.

If you want to, you can withdraw and have no further involvement. The police/CPS can continue with it if they choose to, but you can then distance yourself from it.

I do hope you get an outcome that brings you some peace.

I have deliberately left some details out but I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy what the CPS have put me through. They left me tryjng to take my own life - twice.

Imagine being asked " How did you say no?" And other slut shaming questions. I can't go into the specifics as they are very outing, but let's put it this way, they wouldn't have asked certain people what they asked me. They were disgusting and basically in the end said it was my my word against his.

I still believe the police should have told me that they wanted to launch an appeal because the CPS came back with a NFA. They promised me over and over again they would let me know as soon as a decision was made and they kept that from me.