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2 yo behaviour - normal or not?

12 replies

Orangeblossomme · 23/01/2025 18:28

Not intended as a stealth boast, genuinely wondering whether DD2's behaviour seems normal. She is 2 years and 2 months. Our first is a boy, 6, and his school have suggested he be assessed for ASD/ADHD, so I'm wondering whether what we see in DD is "normal" for a 2 yo, or if she seems advanced socially, or this is more what one might expect with a girl (I've heard they're socially and emotionally more advanced than boys?) Or is this just bog standard and we missed it because DS was our first?

  • DD is quite tuned in to social cues, if I stub my toe, for example, she asks "are you okay?", if I sit down to eat/drink and have a bite, she says "Is it yummy?" etc And she always pays attention to where we are, at a museum for instance, she's always got her eye on me. DS would also notice if he wandered too far and call out to me, but DD really stays close.
  • She loves to take care of her dolls, sits down on a chair gently and holds them in the cradle hold, shushes the baby and rocks it whilst she gives it a bottle or pretends to breastfeed it!
  • Her imaginative play is quite elaborate, she's often got tea parties going with us or her teddies, sets up games on the sofa with pillows where we're on a bus going to a museum with her Nan, etc. DS did this, too, but it was...just a bit more simple? He would bring tea and cakes and we would pretend to eat it, or sit in a box and say he was in a boat and we'd pretend to be pirates. But DD is running back and forth and doing pinches of salt and sugar on the sandwiches and coffee, etc.
  • She's quite tidy. She often puts toys away before getting a new one out, and if I tell her it's tidy up time, she happily joins in. If she finds something out of place (including a toy that's her brother's), she'll pick it up and put it where it belongs. If a drawer or door is open/ajar, she will close it, or if we put her clothes in the laundry and a sleeve or something is hanging out, she will fix it and make sure that it's all fully in the basket.
  • She also just says when she needs wants to eat, drink, or wants to go to bed, and has done for a while now. I feel like DS needed a bit of prompting for much longer (and still doesn't say when he's ready for bed, we need to tell him and bring him).
  • She sings constantly, nursery songs and sometimes just la la la-ing to herself. DS didn't do this at all, but did join in when we would sing a song or do Rhyme Time, taht sort of thing

Is this all normal 2 yo behaviour or is DD socially/emotionally advanced?

OP posts:
AllrightNowBaby · 23/01/2025 18:32

It all sounds very normal to me, she seems to be a happy little girl.

biggreenapple24 · 23/01/2025 18:35

I think it sounds fairly normal. DD will be 2 in March and doing most of the things on that list.

Her male friends born only a couple of days before/after her are totally different. They don't have many words yet and much more likely to find them charging around like bulls in China shops shouting than cradling a doll or having a tea party.

The difference between children at this age generally, but particularly boys and girls, seems very stark.

Reallycantworkitout · 23/01/2025 18:35

She sounds lovely, and seems to be developing in line with her age

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Orangeblossomme · 23/01/2025 18:36

@AllrightNowBaby thank you, she is indeed a happy little girl! So you wouldn't think that this is especially social? We are wondering about DS now that we see how different they are. As I mentioned, he did do all of those things but just not as elaborate. He had the tea parties and would take care of his teddies, but it was a bit one dimensional. He'd say "Fubbie is tired, he's going to sleep" and tuck him under a blanket but never a very elaborate story as DD does.

OP posts:
Orangeblossomme · 23/01/2025 18:38

@biggreenapple24 thank you, yes DS was not at all interested in dolls at this age. He did like reading and books (DD loves this too) but I'm wondering whether perhaps he was socially behind even then and we missed it as we thought he was in line with his peers. (Although his assessments with HV were always fine and no concerns raised through nursery)

OP posts:
Reallycantworkitout · 23/01/2025 18:40

I have a boy and a girl. My boy was very hands on and practical, whereas my girl would have been more verbal and descriptive, and more likely to tell me about her play than he was. Seems to be quite common. Both were early talkers but DD definitely used her language more for stories and sequences of information

Orangeblossomme · 23/01/2025 18:40

Also she likes her room to be tidy, DS always looks like a hurricanes been throguh

OP posts:
Butfirstcoffee123 · 23/01/2025 18:42

She sounds bright and happy. My DS’s best friend is 10 months younger than him but she has always been streets ahead. They met when they were 3 & 4 yrs old. I think it’s a girl / boy thing. (They are now 11yrs old, and there is still the same gap - though I am thankful not to have to deal with the extra drama that comes with the heightened social awareness!!)

MrsSamR · 23/01/2025 18:46

Sounds just like my 2 year 3 month old and she has an older sister who was similar but maybe not quite as 'empathetic' as her sister who is amazing at commenting on whether people are sad on TV shows and going to give them a cuddle. She also is very into her dolls and caring for them, asking if they are OK etc etc. Has full blown conversations with her cuddly toys as she's going to sleep at night. Very considered and measured in all her actions really and her speech is excellent - been speaking in 6/7 word sentences for a while now and generally doesn't miss a trick. Try and enjoy her and not wonder too much about what is 'normal.' I know it's hard not to compare when you have an older child too though!

reichs79 · 23/01/2025 18:49

Sounds just like my dc when they were that age. Enjoy this stage as it goes so fast!

Orangeblossomme · 23/01/2025 19:14

Thank you everyone, yes, I am loving every minute of it! She's utterly delightful right now. @MrsSamR mine also has long and complex conversations with her animals, I listen whilst she's in her cot "Oh no Mr Elephant, you can't have more tea we're going on the train now and then we go to beddie!" I just melt. DS was also very verbal but I don't remember such elaborate role play. And as we're looking at doing ND assessments I'm wondering, did I miss something? Could I have gotten him help earlier? Compared to DD he was a bit less empathetic but it sounds like that's also average for boys.

OP posts:
whaddayawannado · 23/01/2025 19:17

She sounds lovely and just like my dd who, at that age, was arranging all her felt-tip pens in rainbow colour order in the packet. 😂

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