Helpful gifts for friend who has just had ileostomy

[Rinkadinka]

Best friend has just had this surgery, all very quick and quite a shock for them. Due home today, what can I get/do?

Oh that's quite an operation! Hope they're all good?

My usual go to post surgery for friends is anything cosy - fancy cashmere socks etc. Perhaps a voucher for some food delivery if they won't be cooking much? A good thermos too normally if they're not as mobile, then there's no rush about for a hot drink. Fancy snacks that are their fave too!

Are you super close to them? Perhaps some special post surgery pjs that don't have a firm waist would be nice? Maybe some nice nightgown that won't put pressure on the surgical site?

He’s my best friend. I’ve made individual meals for the family, feels a bit weird to buy anything too personal, and I’m so unsure about food/drinks but I have got a large Stanley mug, Apple Store voucher, and a long cabled power bank.
just wish I could help more.

Definitely not a nightgown if it's a he - apologies I assumed!! 😂 or maybe it'll be more comfy?

That sounds like you've got some really good thoughtful bits - especially the power bank, that's genius!

Haha! Actually a nightgown or thin dressing gown is a good idea!
Love your name btw! Thanks for your help

It sounds like you have it covered really , I think in this situation be a friend to him and his family, he probably won't feel up to eating as the operation does mess with your digestion so I wouldn't give anything like that to him.

A bag of marshmallows

Excellent idea! The massive marshmallows from B&M are really good. (they make things less liquid OP, which helps prevent leaks)

I had an ileostomy. Tbh, I just wanted to be left alone and watch crap on Netflix immediately after the operation. I was sore, trying to figure the bloody thing out, and knackered from being really ill in the run up to the operation and that was a planned op, not a shock. I expect he's reeling a bit. Is it a permenant stoma or a temporary one?

Some soft, elasticated pajama trousers might be welcome - so the waist can either be below or above the bag.

I also have an ileostomy I felt rank and just wanted to sleep

@GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut silly question but does he eat the marshmallows or are they for the bag? Sorry is that really dumb of me??
it’s non reversible, they’ve also given him a ‘Barbie butt’ which I have to admit I was afraid to Google.

My dh had similar surgery and a permanent stoma. It takes a long time to recover and just sitting can be incredibly painful. The things that helped most were a pack of soft and loose (I sized up) thin cotton pyjama shorts (I got his from M&S), a camelbak 1lr water bottle so he could monitor his fluid intake (it can be hard to get this right at the beginning when you're figuring things out) and a proper post-surgery cushion to sit on

https://putnams.co.uk/products/sero-pressure-cushion-post-rectal-cancer-cut-out?variant=37754851786949&currency=GBP&cmpid=16213977984&adggid=&kwd=&device=m&gadsource=1&gbraid=0AAAAAC6hjDqD7QbwReAqZL7ikPXEW4SPA&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7se8BhCAARIsAKnF3rytNXnq0iQvMzhPHruJJ0ndApMGZQIx-Kj2IYWblHiAckydATg87jsaApQSEALwwwcB

He also spent a lot of time snoozing on the sofa so a warm and cosy blanket or throw would be a good shout too.

The marshmallows are for him to eat :) my brother had one as a teen.
Gelatine foods help go bulk up the stool which can make stomas easier to manage - he'll have a learning curve for diet now and there will be things he can no longer eat. His tolerance for some foods is also likely to change over the next few months & years if I remember rightly.

Mine is for urine its still the same sort of procedure .I remember being advised to eat jelly I wonder if it's the same thing as the marshmallows 🤔

I had an emergency ileostomy in October, 2023 and had it reversed in October, 2024. Any gifts to do with food are probably not a good idea as most people with an ileostomy have a very limited diet. Marshmallows are a good idea as they are meant to slow down the output. Just be a good friend and let him know you’re there for him. Don’t be afraid to google Barbie butt although for guys it’s called a Ken butt.

Yes he eats them!

This is a really good blog from someone with a stoma. https://www.sobadass.me/ it was recommended to me by the nurse before I had mine done as a good resource for 'real life' rather than what the Dr thinks it will be like.

A permenant one is an even bigger adjustment. A barbie butt is everything taken away inside after the position of the stoma, then sewn up completely. (I didn't have that, so mine was reversible if I wanted it to be, which I did)

My dad had one.

He lost a lot of weight.

He lived on lemon drizzle cake for a while!

So my suggestion is cake, or do something for his wife/partner as it's v stressful for the rest of the family.

A Camelbak is a great idea.

I mean the rest of the family can eat the cake if it doesn't suit his diet!

Thank you everyone so much!