This is a bit long, but don't want to drip feed.
Nephew is 21 years old. He works full time and has around £1200 after bills as spending money. He lives with his mother. He pays rent, phone, food, car insurance etc. The 1200 is after all expenses . We're very close.
He has £30k in life savings, partly due to an inheritance, but mostly due to his mother saving all his life, by making sacrifices and investing as well as she could for him. The intention for the money is for him to use it for something "proper" e.g deposit for his first house/go to uni / experiences if a life time/driving lessons etc. this is to get him out of the low income family situation my sister and I are in. She wants him to move out if the social housing and UC cycle. So has saved every spare pound for him. I am fortunate to have moved away from social housing and with my husband we're both working full time and have a modest mortgage etc.
The money is in my name, because he asked that at 18 he didn't have "direct" access to it.
I always told him I would give it to him without questions, as it's his money. He's been dipping into it for things like driving lessons and tests, a 3 month trip to Asia, a training course... all "proper" things.
He somehow manages to spend all of his £1200 on crap. Like Uber eats and the pub, taking his girlfriend out to cinema etc. It's all his money and he earns it and pays his bills. So who cares if he's spending it all? But it is relevant that he has more than enough spending money each month.
His girlfriend earns more than him,and pays £200 to her mother and ends up with about £1.8kna month. Which she seems to be able to spend just as easily as he does his money! She complains that she has to give her mum the £200. Nephew has never once complained not missed any payments.
He has now requested £1500 from these savings, to buy his girlfriend some presents (she's 19) from his savings. Because he "wants to spoil her". I have sent him his money, it is his after all, he's an adult, it's not for me to withhold it. I didn't ask him the reasons, he told me why without prompting.
Now, the WWYD is...
Would you "have a word" with him about spending money like this when it isn't supposed to be for him to fritter away on girlfriends/going out for a fancy meal... Especially as he has SO MUCH money each month spare. Or would you let it slide, and then if it happens again then say something? Or just hand it over every time?
I'm in a conundrum.