I've just read a very good article about the Pelicot rape trial in France. The journalist (a lecturer at Oxford) remarked on the ordinariness of the men involved (few of them had convictions for rape or abuse). She ended by recalling the abuse she suffered at the hands of her own father, adding that she'd been disappointed and let down by men throughout her life – constantly thinking, ah, he's one of the good guys, and then realising, no, he's just like all the others.
Anyway, it struck a chord. I have been disappointed again and again by the men in my life. I don't just mean partners. My cousin, for example, who I always looked up to, was caught grooming an underage girl online. He was/is a great dad and (I thought) a loyal and loving husband. I really thought he was one of the good guys. I also know another man caught viewing indecent images of children. He was a distant acquaintance, but, again, a man I respected. Then there has been the cheating, the rape jokes, the visits to strip clubs and prostitutes, the vile text or phone exchanges with idiot mates. Time and again the men in my life have made me ashamed. I always thought my FIL (now dead) a kind, good man until one summer afternoon in a pub garden when I watched him leering at a couple of 11 or 12-year-old girls in short skirts playing on the slide.
When it comes to sex, the vast majority of men cannot be trusted. That, sadly, is the conclusion I've come to. If I had a young daughter, I don't think I'd trust anyone. So many of the men I've known who've done these things were (or seemed) good people. If they are capable of such things, what are the horrible, creepy, sinister men capable of? Can anyone relate? I don't know why, but that article has been playing on my mind.