"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never harm me"

[CurlewKate]

This has to be the most stupid, inaccurate and dangerous "saying" we use regularly in English, surely.

I don’t think I agree. I think in many cases people could do with getting a grip when it comes to certain words.

Do people really say it any more? I remember way back in the 80s in assembly, the teacher saying that words can be hurtful to a person. I've not heard anyone say it for years.

I agree.
Verbal bullying whether at school, in the workplace, in a marriage - wherever - does terrible damage.
If words cannot hurt a person then why should words make someone sad or amused or provoke any emotion?
When I was a child ghost stories terrified me. Was that unreasonable because they were only ‘words’?

It was bollocks then and it's bollocks now.

Only prats still say this.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may break my heart"
is how we were taught it by my wise old mum.

Yep!

I thought it meant that a person could just choose to walk away from name calling at school.

I was told this as a kid. It weirdly instilled some confidence in me because I took it to mean that I can choose whether or not to be upset by things people said as they are literally “only words” and you can control how you respond to them.

Of course words can be hurtful, that doesn't mean this isn't a good saying. When I was a child it was understood to be more of a rallying call, not to be taken literally.

It was something to be said back to a kid who was trying to bully you, to show them that they hadn't got to you and they might as well give up.

'Say what you like, you can't get me down that way, so piss off'.

As people on MN are regularly offended when others have the temerity to compliment them on looking well I agree with @JandamiHash that some folk need to get a grip sometimes.

A family member was so severely verbally bullied whilst at school they tried to take their own life. So for me sticks and stones may break your bones but words can fucking kill you would be a more accurate description.

Yeah, its good advice if you are the person/child the words are directed against. Its not a pass to go out and say horrible things to other people.

I agree, very much so. I was mercilessly bullied at school, and words cut far deeper than sticks and stones do.

I think this is much more accurate

Truth be told I don’t even mind being called “love” or “pet” by people. I know some people on MN practically call 101 though when it happens to them

Far more accurate. I appreciate the sentiment of the other version but the reality is not quite there

It's a silly phrase for sure usually as a retort to a verbal bully. However there is some truth in how the victim can be empowered. Bullies only win when their words are believed. To some extent bullies only continue if the victim facilitates, obviously that's not always the case. If you are being punched and having your head shoved down the toilet by a stronger kid there isn't much you can do about it. If you are being bullied online just stop going online. It's like walking straight up to the bully and saying here I am, humiliate me. As an adult you mostly have choices, change jobs, leave a relationship, cut contact with a family member. You can rise above words.