Did you ever move away from your hometown as a family?

[Nikeeee]

Married mum of 2 (DS is 3, DD is 1) me and DH do want to move sometime. We live in a city and although our areas the slightly suburban part of the city we want to move a bit more closer to nature and away from our city.

now we have kids there is the element of they’d not see family for periods of time that they’re close to as we luckily have 2 sides who love our kids and want to see them. And also the element of cutting our village out type of thing? The areas we’re looking at are 2-4 hour drives away.

I know it’s not impossible. So if you did this what tips would you get to give us confidence ?

I feel comfort as I know our area. The nursery the school I know the people there as we bought our home where I grew up

How do I build the confidence especially regarding a childcare/school setting? Etc

Sounds like it could be an excellent move for you all.
Do all the usual research re schools, clubs, local Facebook groups.
Maybe visit the area a couple of times as a family & learn together, develop some special associations such as parks, meals out etc

We moved from the NW to SE of England when DF's job moved to London many years ago. It gave Dsis & I much better world views, far better than staying in one place.
DH & I did it with DCs, about 30 miles - again it has widened their worlds and I think it's positive all round tbh.
(Obviously there were practical challenges & we did our best in each case - perfection is impossible but we just did our best)

In each case we tried to make it as positive an experience as we could, something to relish & benefit from.
Go for it & enjoy it!

Whose confidence are you building, exactly, though -- your own? What exactly is bothering you so much about moving? DS was born in London (we're not from the UK), moved to a midlands village when he was 1, then moved overseas when he was 7. We moved a couple of times since then (temporary rentals during Covid) but will probably now stay where we are until he leaves for university. He's 12.

Don't you know any other people who've moved away from wherever they were born?

I think the only way you will build confidence about it is to do it. The children will be fine. They are very young. There's something very freeing about recognising that you are able to hit a new place, put down roots, make friends and make a life there.

My exH was in the forces so we moved loads of times during our marriage. Once our eldest DD was starting senior school we settled in one place. It's surprising how quickly you find your way around in a new place each time. We lived in married quarters for a few years. It did get more difficult once we had bought our own house.

We didn’t so much move as a family but made a decision when we got married not to live where either of us grew up. My family is overseas (8+ hour flight) and dh’s closest family is about 1.5 hours, but everyone else 4-5 hours.

I think what helped is we never had any expectation of family help. We never expected or had a village. It’s always been just us doing everything. If you are able to manage now doing it all yourself, it’s fine. When family do visit, it’s exciting. Not just, oh granny’s here again same as last week.

As for schools and nurseries, that sorts itself out same as if you live anywhere. You have to make a choice and be confident in your choice. We did a move 2 hours from our old house when ours were in nursery and primary school. We looked online to make sure local places were decent and had space when we made an offer. As soon as it was accepted, we moved towards securing a spot. I came down and did tours of the possible primary schools and the nursery (there was only one) and then we put our application in shortly thereafter as soon as we had exchanged. It was fine.

Tbh we do it ourselves really. grandparent sleepovers / going to grandparents has been a novelty and only our eldest has went. Youngest doesn’t like to be apart (obviously as she’s young) so has only ever been in mine or nursery care

i am very paranoid (I suffer with anxiety) about who takes care of the kids.thats why the nursery aspect scares me as the one they go to we know the staff and its the area I grew up in so I know so many people who have used them so it’s close knit

Do I move and get DS accustomed to a new school but try and keep DD with me until she goes to school? And shop around for nurseries in the mean time maybe?

That aspect scares me. but would love to get my kids accustomed to somewhere different because as I say, it’s my worries now. Doing this isn’t impossible

I'm not sure I understand what is so frightening about unknown childcare and school settings? I don't think knowing people socially by face and name, and everyone else using the same childcare or attending the same schools is necessarily any guarantee of quality. In you're new place, you'll look around at the options, visit, see what nurseries/childminders etc have space, talk to providers etc and make an informed decision, the same as you would with deciding on a school or a job, or buying a house or a car. And if it turns out not to work for whatever reason, you rethink it.

You can't confine yourself to the exact spot you currently live in just because you grew up there and it's familiar. I mean, obviously you can, but you clearly don't want to.