Would this old will still be valid unless I officially update ?

[Willadvice]

Made a will approx 20 years ago. At the time I had one child and was a SP so stated if anything happened to me that DM would have care of my dc.

Im now married and have more dc etc and NC with family. Would the old will still be valid? Can I write a formal letter to update it until I have the funds to do it officially or will this old will be a problem if anything happened to me ?
edited to add I’m most concerned if anything happened to myself and dh - would that will mean our younger dc may go to DM? We have adult children as well and other family who we would prefer as guardians for younger dc.

Your marriage invalidates the will, unless the marriage was anticipated and this was made clear in the will.

Thankyou so it’s as if I just have no will at the moment ?

You can buy a kit for about £20 from amazon and write a new will. Just need 2 people who aren't beneficiaries to witness it. Our DC are now the executors for when we are both dead.

Yes.
https://www.thegazette.co.uk/all-notices/content/103393

Thankyou I will have a look is there anything specific or just any will kit are they all the same really ? I just want to get the correct one

Many charities offer a free basic Will service in the hope that you'll leave something to them. I think I saw a TV ad for RNLI the other day.

When you can afford it, best to get professional advice though. You may even get a free 30 minutes with a solicitor for advice.

Hope it's something that sits in a safe place for many years to come!

We did ours for free through cancer research. It's an online form you fill it in , sign with witness's then it's signed by a solicitor at their end. To keep it on their system (so you can amend) is £10 a year or you can print it and have it removed. They request a donation to cancer research in the will but it is optional.

You DO need a new will but also be aware that while you can state a preference for a guardian for your DC you can't "leave" them to someone in the will.

Is it better to have a few options of family members who agree ? I don’t know much about the process is it best to list a few options and should I state anyone who I definitely don’t want ?

We actually appointed my Mum and BIL, so any children of ours had support from either side - also, thinking ahead in case one of them was unable to support her. They both knew and we did say that if they thought someone else in the family was better able to provide a home for DC, that was ok.

Marriage should invalidate your old Will. However, just check on the wording, is the child named or does it say any child of mine. Either way, personally I'd get it done properly. I used to be a Probate Secretary and we often saw complications where people hadn't worded Wills correctly.

I used freewills.co.uk to make my will - they try and sell you various add-ons, but if you decline them it really is a free service. It was recommended by the Money Saving Expert email.

As a temporary solution you can write o e using an online template then get a non relative and non beneficiary to witness it. If your circumstances are complicated then professional advice may be needed

You need to discuss this with your preferred guardians, and then write them into your will. Yes, you can state if there are people you would not want to take on guardianship.

It is important just to make your wishes clear, and unlikely then that anyone would override those wishes should the worst happen.

I agree
You CAN state reasons and why but it can be over ruled.
When we did our wills DD was 17 and DS 13, we named a friend (with her agreement) who would look after The DC until DD was 18 and then she would become DS guardian.
We stated that while we hoped DH's family would support them we preferred that the DC did NOT live with them full time or have any legal responsibility as we felt it would be better for them to remain in their home and stay at their college/school etc with the support of friends in the area

I don’t think you have the power to actually appoint or discount anyone. Your wishes can be taken into account, but when making a decision on the guardianship of orphaned minors the judge will usually take a wider view - discussions with family members, with the children themselves (depending on their age), social services if they are involved. The decision can also be contested if others don’t feel the guardianship is appropriate.

have just been through this with a friend who died recently leaving her 17yr old. she left written confirmation that she wanted her 26 yr old daughter to take over legal guardianship of the 17yr old. Her wishes were taken into account, but the 26yr old did have to confirm she was prepared for it and understood her responsiblities, and that financially it could work. There was a family conference, which supported the proposal and included friends and family. However, my friends mum / sister could have contested it, if they felt that the 17 yr old would be better off with them. The judges decision was the deciding one.

I used a mumsnetter family lawyer to write my will. It wasn't expensive at all, all done over the phone, and she was really really thorough and helpful with complicated situations.

Her website is www.marlowwills.co.uk/writing-a-will/