I'll preface this by saying that my only purpose of this thread is to get it off my chest, there's no major drama it's just something that's been bothering me and I'm pretty limited on people I can talk to about it!
So my partner and I have a 14 month old son and we are soon to be parents of a second child. My partner's parents are really nice people and our son is their first grandchild so naturally they've always been very excited. My partner's maternal grandmother was responsible for a lot of their childcare when he and his sister were younger, so I think as such my partner's mother envisaged a very similar relationship, however whilst I was close to my grandparents, it was a very different dynamic, i.e they never babysat me or anything similar.
So i guess I'm struggling with their expectations a bit, my son has recently started nursery and I'm really struggling with the time away from him, yet there seems to be an expectation that when our second child is born the gps will be around a lot to "help", I haven't needed any help thus far, my son is in paid childcare and I've never once required anyone to babysit him. His gps see him every week for 2-3 hours, and I know they'd love to look after him once a week as well but they're in their mid-late 70s and I feel more confident him being at nursery and/or home with me whilst he's at the stage where he's crawling around and into absolutely everything. They've now proceeded to buy him a playpen for their house, I'm not entire sure why, they just want one and there's also been talk of them wanting to buy a cot for theirs as well. When they're round they want to feed him and spend all the time with him (absolutely fine, of course), but I'm just worried that once our second is born they will try and automatically assume a higher level of responsibility when it's not needed or wanted.
Again they're exceptionally nice people, albeit slightly pushy at times, but they have played a VERY involved role in my partner's and his sister's lives growing up (even now and they're both in their late 30s), for example their mom tracks their savings accounts to make sure they're on the best interest rates, has chosen and bought my partner a new car recently, has strong opinions on my partner investing money in bonds, and just generally knows every single aspect of their lives and always has advice to give and wants to have some kind of involvement. My life is very different, I'm extremely independent and have always made choices and decisions by myself, trusting my own instincts. I guess I'm worried that they think their over involvement should now stretch to me and my children, when honestly I think I've got it under control.
Sorry for the long post, I'm just entering my second trimester of pregnancy and feeling particularly frustrated at the moment