my mum has always been very adamant that you respect your elders. Which of course I do but also I think there’s an element of respect is earned. She’d be rude to me, insult me and belittle me then when I flagged it insisted I should respect her as my mother.
And thinks when kids grow up they should just do anything for their parents. I’m grateful for everything done for me, and I’ll do anything to help but the wires get a bit crossed.
her example was a friends (grown adult) son was having his own Christmas dinner rather than going to his mothers (my mothers friends) my mum says “it’s just terrible isn’t it you do everything for your kids and that’s how they pay you back” I was silent as it doesn’t make any bloody sense
Im a mum of 2 and personally if I bullied my kids the way my mum has with me and my sibling and demanded respect and that they pay me back when they’re older because I gave birth to them - I wouldn’t be surprised if they ditched me and didn’t bother with me!
I personally now think I should earn my children’s respect. And when they grow up and have their own lives they do not owe me anything. I chose to have them and raise them!