Do graduates tend to become friends with each other?

[Mfewtpay]

Asking for your experiences when you were a graduate and/or your DC's experiences?

With my DS he has a few of his fellow grads on Instagram but that's it. They'll usually have lunch together or go out for a drink after work and have a laugh. DS does like everyone at work but they don't hang out at weekends.

I met my DH on our grad scheme and we are still together 18 years later! There were at least 3 other couples that came from the same cohort.
We are scattered all over the country (and the world!) now but I’m still connected to quite a few of the people I was closer to via social media.
DH’s best friend is from our grad cohort so we see him quite a bit.
I think grads today are more cautious than we were and have a lot more expected of them, the first year of our grad scheme was definitely like an extra year of uni rather than work and that’s when many of these relationships formed. Sadly I think those types of scheme are a thing of the past…

I'm not forcing anything onto him at all or advising him. I'm just asking if genuine friendships form between the early careers people within the company.

Really depends on the people really and what the employer does to support/encourage graduates. There can also be much older people on "graduate" schemes who've joined the scheme after other jobs/careers.

From my son's experience, most of the "grads" didn't really mix together. It was a huge firm, with dozens of new joiners to their grad scheme each year in that building alone, there also being dozens in several other buildings. I seem to remember him saying there were 300/400 new joiners every year across the entire firm. They were spread across different departments/sections, so the "grads" didn't actually work alongside each other, they were all just attached to very small teams and worked only with the rest of the team, all of whom were more experienced/qualified/older etc. Many of the grads didn't live in the city where they worked, so weren't really interested in nights out etc as they all just scuttled off home at the end of the day, some having as long as 90/120 minute commutes from other towns and cities. Some of the grads had partners/children so likewise weren't interested in socialising. I think he said the oldest "grad" was in her 30's and joined after spending a few years as a teacher to do a complete career change - she was apparently nice and friendly, but had a husband and a couple of children, so not interested in socialising outside work.

The firm themselves did all they could to encourage the grads to mix and socialise, they organised weekly "grads" lunches, monthly "grads" drinks, bi-monthly "grads" meals out, set up "grads" social media groups before they started so they could get to know each other, talk about sharing flats etc., but son says it all fell very flat as the people were so very different. Many would go to the first "event", but never to be seen again.

What he did say was that the "interns" had a much better community, i.e. the current Uni students doing their "year in industry". They were only there for a year, were mostly living in student accommodation or hostels or house shares, and as they were mostly the same age and position in life, they got on more, had more in common, etc. Son joined in with them more than he did with the other grads, and has stayed in contact with many of them, including going to stay with some of them for weekends etc., once they finished their year and went back to Uni.

So, cut a long story short, it depends on the cohort really. If a firm only takes in new grads straight from Uni, they're mostly going to be on the same page, in a similar position in life, and probably "up for" continuing the student lifestyle. However, if the firm take in a broader make up of the cohort, including older grads, career changers, etc., then the grads won't gel as easily.

People tend to gather friends throughout their life

So, you usually keep in touch with a handful of school friends, a handful of uni friends, and then gather a few more through work and/or parenthood.

Plus there are local groups and gatherings.

It's a moving target really.

Yes, I made lasting friendships in my first job

Same as your DC, started with lunch/after work drinks, occasional nights out etc (I was there 5 years)

25 years on we are still friends/meet up/and importantly help each other when we can in our careers (advice, freelance opportunities etc)

Friendships take time, especially at work … IME the ‘real’ friendships can deepen when you move on and are not necessarily competing with each other

we had a group of about 10, probably 3-4 are good friends now, going out with 2 of them on Friday

I have deeper friendships from that time than later jobs (more time in the office/less backstabbing than later in my career!)

@Mfewtpay To answer your question, yes, it's quite common for people to form friendships. Similarly to when they were at uni, there's a cohort of young people at the same stage in life, often with similar backgrounds, who spend a large part of their waking hours together.

Depending on how large the cohort is (I've worked in companies where it could be anything from 4 grads to 100 grads), there is often a core contingent whose social life seems to revolve around work, a slightly more relaxed group who socialise with colleagues but also have a full social life outside of work, and some individuals who aren't really that interested in socialising and prefer to keep their work life and personal life separate.

Given the stage of life they're at, if they work for a few years at the same company it's likely that some of them will be invited to each other's weddings, some may end up house sharing with each other and so on. The boundaries of work and friendship do become blurred in many cases.

And yes, it's not that unusual for them to date or even end up marrying each other.

If your son and this colleague both like each other then there's a high chance something will happen, whether other people think it's wise or not. But always best to be a bit careful with work colleagues.