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Original poster

Please read - concerns for ds10

6 replies

whatcanwedoplease · 21/01/2025 09:31

He is autistic. Diagnosed age 4. On the higher end of the spectrum, what used to be called Asperger's. I am also autistic myself.
I want to start with ds is a kind hearted gentle boy, loves cats and animals, hates shouting and easily worried, had lots of anxieties. He's recently been moved to a sen school and the difference had been amazing, he fits in now and has friends. He used to sit on his own at playtime at his last school, it broke my heart.

The last couple of days what's come out about Axel radakubana, how he shown an interest in violence, researching terror attacks etc, a loner, moved to a sen school, worries about his behaviour, it has highlight something for me.
Ds has always has a way with words, always been so mature for his age and shown interest in current news etc. I've always tried to be honest and open with him in an age appropriate way.

Ds is currently being assessed for adhd. He shows a lot of traits for it. Due to his autism he is socially awkward, he will say the most inappropriate things, he literally does not think.
We will go to the shop and he will loudly say things shout out in or hitler, what bad men they are, yes they are, but we don't say these things out loud in public. That kind of thing.
Last night we was speaking about America, dh said he'd like to go on holiday there and ds said you would probably get shot in 30 seconds. He lost his vr time due to this. He did say sorry and it worried him that he said it and didn't know why he did. He said things just blurt out.

He has a thing for guns, he plays Roblox and vr and we have parental controls set up. He isn't allowed on chat on Roblox unsupervised. He has a thing for violence, I suppose. Probably because of the games he plays.

I don't know really what I'm trying to say. I think he's vulnerable to being groomed by people. I really do. I think he would be very easily led.
I've said before if he ruled the world he'd be a dictator or we'd be in a nuclear war within minutes.

But he is so lovely and kind hearted, he is amazing with his little sisters. What can we do to stop the risk of him going down the wrong path?
I know the obvious answer is don't let him have the internet, chat etc, but we can't do that forever.

I just worry so much about the world we live in and how vulnerable kids like my ds are at risk of being taken advantage of by these groups of people.

OP posts:
FlowersOfSulphur · 21/01/2025 09:59

From what you've said, his interest in guns etc sounds similar to many boys of his age, ie mostly within the confines of a game like Roblox. It doesn't sound like he's expressing any desires to obtain weapons, hurt people etc.

However, I agree with you that autistic people are often more vulnerable to being led astray or groomed. I don't know what happened to Axel Radakubana for him to end up the way he did (hopefully this will be investigated), but it's thankfully very unusual. There must be hundreds of thousands of autistic people in the UK and only a very small percentage of them go on to do anything like that.

Keep an eye on what he's doing online and who he's communicating with. You can use parental controls to limit who chats to him on Roblox etc. Could you try to encourage him to develop other interests? Space, cars, skateboarding perhaps.

It's generally said that autistic or ADHD kids can be slower to mature than neurotypical ones so you'll probably have to monitor his online activity for several years longer than you would otherwise. Talk about feelings and how people feel if something bad happens to them/how he felt when, eg, your cat went missing for a few days. It sounds like he's a kind boy which is great, but if this changes and you feel he's becoming unduly interested in guns and violence, seek help - his school will probably be able to assist.

Original poster
whatcanwedoplease · 21/01/2025 19:58

FlowersOfSulphur · 21/01/2025 09:59

From what you've said, his interest in guns etc sounds similar to many boys of his age, ie mostly within the confines of a game like Roblox. It doesn't sound like he's expressing any desires to obtain weapons, hurt people etc.

However, I agree with you that autistic people are often more vulnerable to being led astray or groomed. I don't know what happened to Axel Radakubana for him to end up the way he did (hopefully this will be investigated), but it's thankfully very unusual. There must be hundreds of thousands of autistic people in the UK and only a very small percentage of them go on to do anything like that.

Keep an eye on what he's doing online and who he's communicating with. You can use parental controls to limit who chats to him on Roblox etc. Could you try to encourage him to develop other interests? Space, cars, skateboarding perhaps.

It's generally said that autistic or ADHD kids can be slower to mature than neurotypical ones so you'll probably have to monitor his online activity for several years longer than you would otherwise. Talk about feelings and how people feel if something bad happens to them/how he felt when, eg, your cat went missing for a few days. It sounds like he's a kind boy which is great, but if this changes and you feel he's becoming unduly interested in guns and violence, seek help - his school will probably be able to assist.

Thank you for such a detailed response

OP posts:
Bigearringsbigsmile · 21/01/2025 20:02

I don't know why he was punished for his comment about the USA . Surely that was a great opportunity to talk about guns in the USA and why its different here and more safe?

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Shubbypubby · 21/01/2025 20:10

Why did you punish his comment about America?

Original poster
whatcanwedoplease · 21/01/2025 20:23

I think at the time it was so out of the blue and came across badly, were trying so hard lately to get him to understand why you can't just go around saying the first thing that pops into your head. He's says things at school, it's a new school, they don't know him like they did at his old school and I worry they're going to think he's messed up in the head. I do suffer from pretty bad anxiety and ocd myself so I can overthink

OP posts:
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