My dad died a year ago today. It was a fucking awful death in a shitty, grotty care home, 3 years of dementia, 3 years of battling for his care, trying to and failing to get another care home to have to take any accountability for abuse he suffered there. Three years of stress ending in a horrific death where I had to fight yet again for him to have any shred of medical care and dignity. Then months of stress after sorting out probate and every other fucking thing you have to do, all alone, because it was a world of shit that only I could sort out, yet again.
All on my own as we had no other family and all his friends ran for the hills when he became ill never to be seen again.
I don’t have any close friends, my husband can be shit, I told him it was a year ago today and all I got was “oh yeah, that’s gone quick.” Believe me, if it had been one of his parents he’d still be wearing black and wailing.
I don’t know what I’m looking for from this post, I just wanted to say that it was a year ago to anyone rather than sit here alone.
My 4 year old woke up in the middle of the night shouting, “Grandad is in my room! He’s dead, tell him to go back to heaven, I’m tired.”
She’s an odd little things, she was fucking fuming about it this morning, shouting at the sky, “Jesus, tell him to stay there and not wake me up again” Which did brighten my day a bit.