Reception child crying at drop off- advice

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My just 5 year old DD has in the last 2 weeks suddenly started becoming very tearful at drop off every day. I mean proper crying, being peeled off by her teacher etc. she’s generally an emotional child but previously has skipped in without bother so this is new.
When I ask her when she’s home and calm she just says she doesn’t like school or after school club but can’t articulate why- she says things like they have no toys (they have loads!) or that her friends won’t let her play (I’ve checked with her teacher and she’s 100% fine all day and plays brilliantly with her friends).
I feel so sad for her and I’m starting to find it hard to keep calm and no get upset with her clinging to me and shouting for mummy. Has anyone been through this and how did you handle it? Her teacher is lovely as are the after school club people so I’m confident she’s absolutely fine when she’s there. Thanks.

Bump!

I drew a love heart on my arm and one on my DD. And they are magically connected, if you push on the heart it makes the other one feel your love. She asked for this again the other day when she was unsure about going to school.

When you do drop off, try to keep a conversation going about anything, to distract them. “Don’t forget we have swimming tonight and i was thinking we could have pasta or pizza tonight, what do you think?” “Oh I’ve heard you are learning about fish today, I’ve heard they have a super cool book about fish, what colour do you
think it is?” “Your teacher MRS X, I wonder if she is going to have her hair up in a ponytail today, I bet I’m right”

I would also ask the teacher to maybe a quiet word and ask if there is anything upsetting her. For my DD it was a new girl who is quite abrasive, so not doing anything wrong but just different personalities. She couldn’t articulate this to me, but the teacher could work it out knowing the kids better. They have now put some things in place to help my DD.

My daughter was unhappy in early primary school. The teacher assured me everything was fine and she hadn’t noticed any bullying or anything. I find out later that things were an actual shitshow and some of the bullying that happened to other kids was quite disturbing. So trust your child, take her distress seriously even if she can’t articulate it.

@Happyinarcon ah Im sorry that happened to your daughter I suppose that is my worry. @Moonshower I will try to heart thing- I do do that as much as I can, keep chatting, dont have overly emotional hug, talk about what we will do after school etc.

When mine did this as hard as it is I just gave a quick I love you, kiss, in they go and I left. The teachers assured me they were fine as soon as I’d left and played fine and been ok all day. So I just made drop off as quick as possible, the more you hang around trying to comfort the longer the tears go on (in my case anyway). I think as long as you’re reassured there’s nothing wrong, a quick drop off is best

I have had 2 do this - one was a short term thing of leaving me, finding it all too much and needing to find a rhythm

the other was a more complicated situation involving quite a lot of time out in years 5 and 6 and support and is now getting better in the right school in year 7

one difference between the two looking back is that I spoke to the teacher and my daughter in the first instance worked out the things that bothered her and made a plan with her to work towards solving it. She (indeed bith) found lunch and having to sit and eat difficult so we parked her lunch right back to a ham sandwich (which considering she is a die hard vegan now is amusing) the lunch ladies were told to leave her and then she could go as soon as possible. She had a sticker chart etc to work towards getting a certificate and it was fine

DS struggled to manage emotions and hated been seen to be anything other than fine - lots of masking going on

first call see if you can have a meeting with the teacher

I just wanted to say you're not alone my DD age 5 has just started this as well, I've spoken to her teacher and even the headteacher told me she's fine once she's in and she's perfectly fine when I pick her up. I can only assume it's some kind of phase.
Completely with you that it's hard not to get upset when you see all the other children going in without tears.

Mine always always finds drop offs after Christmas break really hard. It gets easier. But we go in a loop each year.

I teach in Reception and Nursery. Children crying at drop off is very common - and 99% of the time they stop as soon as they’ve hung up their coat!
One thing we suggest is for children to have a key ring on their book bag with a photo of their parents / pet / favourite toy. When they feel a bit sad they go and have a quick look at it and it seems to settle them.

My DD is in reception and we have had the same since starting back after Christmas. I think it's because she had two lovely weeks at home and didn't want it to end. We had a chat about why she doesn't want to go in and she couldn't think of anything specific, just doesn't like school.

I've noticed quite a few of the other children being tearful and clingy at drop off so I think it's fairly common.
We've had mornings where she'll run away & hide when I tell her it's time to go. It's so hard, hoping it gets better this week.

Very bright and breezy drop off. Hug, see you later and leave.
If someone else can do it for a while, even better.

Oh sorry you're going through this is really is horrible having to leave them like this. Similar to another poster with the hearts but I ironed a little heart into her cardigans and explained that when she misses me she can rub the heart. This really helped, and she also asked for one on a blanket at bedtime too, something little but could help.

My DD was fine all of first term in year R. Then randomly for a few weeks had struggles going in. Getting very upset. It passed. She's now in year 1. Every now and then, in her friend group, someone struggles for a bit, but they soon get over it.