Moments with Strangers: Ever Wonder What Happened to Them?

[TheRealGossipGirl]

I had an interesting conversation with a friend today, and it got me thinking about those random encounters with strangers - when you see someone and can’t help but wonder about their story: how they ended up in that moment, what they were going through, or where they are now. I thought it might be an interesting topic to start, so I’ll go first.

It’s not something I think about all the time, but now and again, especially when I’m in the same area, I find myself remembering something from when I was about 11 or 12. I was on a bus with my older sister, heading to another town to do some shopping and it was a 40-50 minute journey. One trip stands out, a woman got on with a massive suitcase and a weekender bag. The suitcase was so large that someone actually had to get off the bus and help her get it on.

At first, she seemed quite cheerful, texting on her phone and after a few minutes, she started calling someone but it was obvious there was no answer. She called again and again but you could tell that whoever she was calling was not picking up. Gradually, her mood changed and the smile disappeared, and she looked upset. She was trying to keep it together, but you could see her wiping away tears. After a while, she just stared out of the window, looking lost and a little scared.

I don't remember if she got off the bus before us, but I’ve always wondered what happened to her. I mentioned it to my sister once, and we both thought that maybe she was leaving a partner/her family for someone else, who decided at the last minute not go through with it.

Has anyone else ever had one of those moments where you see a stranger and wonder how their story turned out?

when I was about 20, I went on a date with a boy who I thought was an absolute dream - he was (as far as I remember!) just beautiful-looking, smart, fun. I lost my phone on the way back from the date and never saw him again - I had a prepaid number which was impossible to reconnect and it was before social media. Wonder if we’d be married now 😂

I work in a hotel.
A little while ago, a lady in her 60s came in with 3 huge suitcases.
She was fleeing an abusive partner. She was absolutely terrified and distraught.
We looked after her overnight, held her hands, hugged her and just tried to make her feel safe.
She left in a taxi the next morning.
I often wonder how she's getting on and if she's still safe from him.

The day before lockdown I sat on a bench looking up the river at my city. Was this the last day of life as we knew it? A day away from a world non of us had navigated before. There were a couple of others doing the same. We acknowledged each other but didn't speak. I wonder how COVID affected them but of course I'll never know.

I acquired some antique postcards. One in particular moved me. It was a Happy Birthday postcard from a young woman to her fiancé. She wrote that by his next birthday they would be married. The postmark was March 1914. They didn't know that they were just months away from the start of WW1. I often wondered if they survived the war and got married. I hope so.

An old lady stopped DD 4 and I to ask if we wanted to go for ice cream.
She clearly wasn't well cognitively, I was chronically unwell myself and heading home plus slightly wary so said no thank you.

DD now 25 and I still regret not saying yes, it was a tiny village and the ice creams were only next door.

Had I seen her when walking in just 20 minutes earlier I would have said yes.

She will be dead now and I am reminded of my own Mum with dementia.

I met an elderly and elegant lady at the Wild Cafe in Bath about 10 years ago. She was fascinating, and had worked overseas a lot. So many stories to tell. I wish I had asked if she wanted to meet up again for a coffee, but I didn’t, and I really regret that.

Can you remember his name and look on Facebook?

About 15 years ago me and my DH were walking home from the pub , it was about midnight and very cold .
I saw a flashing light on the floor just inside a park fence , and at first thought it was a small dog coller.
We walked over and realised there was a guy dressed all in black with a flashing bracelet premoteing a local club lay on the grass passed out in his own vomit , he was face down so didn't chick but we couldn't wake him more than getting a very quite grunt.
So DH phoned the ambulance service which arrived within a few minutes and took over.
His blood pressure was very low and he was very very cold.

We presume he'd drank too much and passed out but we will never find out or find out what happened to him, but I thought about him when we had that very cold spell a few weeks back .

My boyfriend and I were 16 and went out with his older sister to a large casino. My boyfriend and I stayed in an outer bar, as too young to access the casino section.

We encountered a woman, Mrs Bex, whom we spent all night chatting with, watching her down strawberry cocktails. Every drink, she's savour the strawberries to 'soak in the alcohol'. I guess in her 40's. Strangely, the conversation seemed to flow, even though I was only on softdrinks and she was clearly getting tipsy by the end. At the time, I thought she was so sophisticated to drink fancy cocktails, had stunning diamond rings and was very well dressed.

I've often thought about her and feel sad. In my 40's myself, I now assume she had marital issues, if the highlight of her night was getting drunk, sitting for hours chatting to random 16yr olds! I do wonder where she is today and what the rest of her story was.

Thank you to everyone who has replied and shared their stories of times when you’ve been left wondering how someone else’s story turned out. We encounter so many people every single day, only to never see them again and I really do think it’s a fascinating thing that we move on with our lives, but we never forget those moments that stood out.

One thing this post has taught me is the importance of making a conscious effort to help where you can. It might not seem significant to us at the time, but it could mean the world to someone else, and they’ll probably remember it forever - whether it’s a smile, a wave, a hello, or just a little chat!

Unfortunately not! The worst thing is that he actually made a joke about his surname on that date, but I didn’t really get it 😂 and focused on feeling smitten rather than what he had said there. He probably thought I could have found him if I had wanted to, but no!

That's so true and It's lovely to read of such kindness on this thread. I have two that stick in my memory;

1 - About 40 years ago I had a three month temp job in an office full of ladies. One of them was getting married and was excitedly making plans. On my last day I found out that she'd gone home the night before and he'd moved out, emptied their joint bank account and stripped their home. Naturally, she was distraught and I've often thought of her since.
2 - A few years ago, I was going through a divorce and was very distracted by it - I went to cross Oxford St in London and a hand came from behind and pulled me back onto the pavement as a van whizzed by. Couldn't tell if it was a man or woman - it was just very strange and serendipitous!

Over 30 years ago now, a neighbour helped me and my young DC in the same situation. It's no exaggeration to say she saved my life. And we did go on to have a wonderful life. I never went back to him. So I'm sure she remembers you too. I'll never forget what that lady did for us.

I once came face to face with my doppelganger. We were absolutely identical. We were even wearing the same branded t shirt! I really wish I'd spoken to her and found out who she was. It was so weird and I was just in shock, so by the time I'd recovered, she'd gone.

40 years ago as a final year student I was suffering with my mental health after a messy break up & final exams. Every morning I went swimming to try & clear my head. Several mornings I met a heavily pregnant lady & chatted to her. The child will be 40 now, I often wonder how their lives turned out.

Thank you @RubyStorm I hope she and her children have had wonderful lives. They deserved peace and happiness. I am glad you got out too.

I got a job as a summer temp in an office while in University. I worked there for three summers.

There was a guy working there who was not that much older that me. I was very shy and he had a very sharp sense of humor. He really brought me out of my shell and the confidence he gave me.

I went back the last summer and apparently he had just handed his notice to HR and took annual leave instead of working his leave. He never said goodbye to anyone. I often wonder what happened to him and why he left in the manner he did.

I was on a train from London to Manchester, with my DD, getting off at Stockport. DD had her saxophone, and we had a suitcase each and handbags. I put all the luggage, including handbags and saxophone on the station platform and went back onto the train to help my daughter get off, when the doors closed and the train moved off. We found ourselves on the train to Manchester with no personal possessions, no mobile phones and no money. DD was about 11 and tearful and panicky. A young man offered me his phone to call my husband (he'd been waiting at Stockport to meet us) and his friend gave my DD a handful of change (it turned out to be almost £30!) in case we were delayed getting back, to get a drink or something. We were met in Manchester by Virgin Trains rep who popped us on a golf buggy and whizzed us round the concourse and onto the next train going to Stockport. We were reunited with our luggage in less than 40 minutes.
Those two young men were so kind and friendly - I thanked them and asked how to repay them - they simply said 'pay it forward' which I have tried to do ever since then. Their reaction to the plight of a mother and child potentially stranded was immediate and reassuring. It restored my faith in human nature and, ladies, if those boys were your sons, you should be very proud of them.

OP do you know the word sonder? Defined as "the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk."

It's from the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows and really reminds me of your post.

I was on a train, by myself, quite late at night/early hours of the morning. There was a conductor on board and he was the nicest employee of the railways I’ve ever met. He kept coming into my carriage and I do wonder if he was keeping an eye on me as a lone female. He even checked that I was going the quickest route with my train connections.

I often think about how kind he was and I really regret not contacting British Rail and telling them what a wonderful man he was.

My sister has a dog she walks regularly. You get into a habit and see the same people and there dogs. One of the regulars dog passed away, he still walked the same route on his own, but had a huge bag of dog treats he'd give to the dogs he knew. So lovely and heartbreaking at the same time.

When I was 17 I was on a course at the local 6th form college. There was a lad on another course that was similar to mine so we would go to events together. Me and this lad got on like a house on fire and I think we would have got together had we realised we both fancied each other. Because we weren’t on the same course we didn’t see each other all that often.
We both finished our courses and I went off to uni. When I came back one Christmas I bumped into him in town. We chatted and promised to get in touch but neither of us had a pen and paper to write down details. All the shops were shut. This was long before mobile phones.
I never saw him again. I don’t even remember his name.

No, I didn't know this word, but it's really interesting - thank you for sharing it! The definition is spot on for what this thread is about and perfectly captures what we encounter every single day with all the strangers who pass us. Whether it’s on the school run, heading to an appointment, doing the grocery shop, or going for a daily walk, it's easy to forget that everyone around us is living their own complex, vivid story. I love how the word "sonder" brings that sense of connection to light.