Re elderly parents.

[Cloudyskystars45]

Wonder if anyone can help…. My parents are getting quite elderly and I’ve found myself getting more and more anxious and sometimes even panicky about the moment they are not here.
Can anyone offer some advice on this?
Im wondering if I should be going to counselling at this stage?
Or do I need to look at some resources?
It’s mainly at night that I get panicky if I’m thinking about this.
Grateful for any help on this- thanks.

Are you dependant on them? Do you live with them? Have you got your own family, eg. Dh, dc etc?

I know when parents die, you lose their company but what else are you worried about?

it is the natural order and they are very lucky to have lived to be elderly, many people do not.

Its natural and I remember feeling the same about my grandparents when I was young. When the inevitable happens though I find the human resolve takes over and you will be ok. To quote a line from a film, You are at your very best when things are worst.

Thanks- I’m not dependent on them.
I am close to them though. Maybe I’ll chat to a friend who has already gone through it and say how I am feeling.

Thanks Forlemondog- that post is really helpful.

You need to understand why you are "oanicky". You know that it is completely natural for them to die before you. And, if they are unfortunate enough to have long illnesses, it might actually be a relief when the time comes.
But it is true that fear of something is often far worse than the event when it happens, because you just crack on and deal with it.

I can identify op. I'm very close to my elderly dm and she's had a couple of health scares recently. I know it's the natural order but I honestly don't know how I will cope when she's not here anymore 😕

Me too. I'm scared of the pain and grief being too overwhelming to cope with.

I used to be panicky when I was dependent on them but by the time I was in my 30s I accepted that they would die and was just grateful that they didn't die when I was younger by the time they did die.

I was also grateful that they had quick painless deaths.

My husband was the same but wished that his mum had died a few years earlier as she was bed bound by then.

Neither of us grieved really, we just celebrated their lives.